


Spring Term at Clarifloors

by RewaAllana



Series: Mithridates - A History of a Micronation [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Autism, Autistic Character, Boarding School, Canes, Court, F/F, F/M, Gen, Ghosts, High School, Micronation, Original Songs, Sequel, beatings, unplanned sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 69,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22091413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RewaAllana/pseuds/RewaAllana
Series: Mithridates - A History of a Micronation [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1500803
Kudos: 2





	1. Sophie

Jim had not been looking forward to going home.

Part of him missed the Island he had grown to be fond of despite the strange locals and what he felt was the stupid and ignorant committee that ran it.

His parents, while great to see them, were always busy with work or taking care of his sister so he barely had time to do anything with them.

He hated Christmas. It was a tradition he never cared for since he realised Santa didn’t exist.

And worst of all, he was still worrying about Joan.

Still, he got to spend time with Sophie.

Sophie was celebrating her twelfth birthday the day after News Years Day. A day Jim and his parents had almost given up hope she would live to see. Sophie was a lot better than the pictures and his calls with his mother had led to believe. She was home for Christmas and apart from the tube in her nose and that she stayed in her room, she was still her old lively self.

She was making plans to come to Clarifloors. She had made no plans to die yet.

Jim admired her. Sophie was always the “can-do-it” type.

And she didn’t even talk about her illness. She wanted to ask her brother about his school life. She missed school and her friends, having missed her past year of primary and receiving a private tutor while stuck in bed. They found some time to speak privately in her room while she knitted a new sweatshirt and Jim told her about being Head Boy and how he had to learn a Latin speech.

“Mom says you keep talking about this girl.”

Jim knew this was going to happen; “Yeah. I’ve made a friend.”

“Do you fancy this girl?”

“No.”

He felt guilt as he answered too quickly.

Sophie frowned; “Uh-huh”.

Jim took out his phone and showed her a picture of Ebony, Dean, Joan and himself – a picture he had secretly screamed from the “Gazette”; “She’s the one on the right.”

“Not the pretty one?”

“Christ Sophie.”

“Who are the other girls?”

“Ebony and Dean.”

“Dean?” Then she got it; “Oh, ok.”

“He’s my Deputy. Ebony is the Head Girl and Joan is her Deputy.”

“And you all saved this boy?” she read the title above.

“That’s the most excitement we’ve had as a team. Everything else happened to Joan.”

“Didn’t I read about her somewhere…...?”

“You probably heard from Mum about her four years ago.”

Sophie remembered; “Yeah…. She’s the kid whose own mum went berserk on the Dad. And then Mithridates stopped families from seeing each other for a whole year. Mum and Dad were angry.”

“It wasn’t Joan’s fault.”

“Why would they blame her?”

Jim explained about the phone call controversy.

“Joan’s autistic.” Sophie’s tone was dry.

“Yeah.”

“She was away from home and her Mum had gone mad.”

“Yeah.”

“So why in the hell would the police call her and not someone from the school or the Island? Also, if she’s lying about it, isn’t it her own privacy she’s protecting?”

“She claims she didn’t have her phone on her. It was taken.”

“Maybe someone else answered. A bully? Is she bullied?”

“Unfortunately.” He then showed her another photo; “This is Albert.”

Sophie was repulsed; “What is _that_?”

“Her Gran made it for her. She died just before we broke off, but Joan uses it to calm herself.”

Sophie softened; “So you’re looking out for her?”

“I mean I’ve tried. Hasn’t stopped some shitty things happening. Clarifloors is a good school but there’s always some arseholes who ruin it.”

“But if there’s people like you there, it can’t be so bad.”

Sometimes sisters were the nicest people.

Sometimes.

He was still glad to get on the ferry and return to his school. More so to see Joan. She looked well despite her loss. They played a chess game and she said little about what had happened for her “holiday”.

And then he heard from Dean that a group of Ferox boys had been reported and soon, the gossip found its way into the team’s office. Joan of course, didn’t want to talk about it – even when they were alone. To her credit, she didn’t appear to dwell on it and she carried on her work in her quiet calm way so it didn’t affect the mood around her.

But Jim still worried; “Are you talking to Zimmerman now?”

They played another game; “Not yet. I mean…. He asks what I want to eat, and I’ll tell him. He checks my week report and says their good and I thank him. But no real conversations.”

“Have you asked about the ban?”

“I know enough.” Her mood darkened; “I don’t hate him for that decision but I’m having trouble forgetting his actions.”

“You mean forgiving?”

“I’ve forgiven him. But I’m not at that stage where I feel I can talk to him properly right now. Not like this.”

“What about Miss Ramsey, if she’s dating him….?”

“She doesn’t keep things to herself. As much as I like her-”

“He’s still got to know how you are from her though.”

“I’m not very good at explaining my feelings or my thoughts.” She gave an apologetic shrug; “How’s Sophie?”

A change of conversation meant that she was uncomfortable. Jim decided to play along; “Much better. She was out of hospital for the holiday. Walking around – asking about you actually.”

“You what?”

Joan had stopped just as she was about to make a move.

“My Mum told her I wouldn’t stop talking about you – that’s a lie by the way, I mentioned you once or twice when we saved Constans.”

She seemed to buy that white lie; “My Mum used to get excited if a boy so much as looked at me.”

“Did you have boyfriends at primary?”

“I didn’t have any friends.”

She scratched the corner or her eyebrow for a rather long time, as if a painful reminder suddenly came up.

She finally put her hand down; “I had a little brother.”

Jim could already feel a sense of dread asking this; “Did he have cancer?”

“No.”

“What was it?”

“I don’t know.” She finally made a move; “It crushed Mum. Dad was quiet for once and I was left in the dark. I just knew that he was dead. They had a private funeral and I had to go to school. My school phoned them during the service saying I was in tears and wouldn’t say why. They were uh…. Very upset with me afterwards. Said I’d ruined the moment for him. I still feel bad about it.”

Jim wasn’t sure what to say; “But…. That wasn’t your fault.”

“Crying makes things worse.”

Jim made a move and tried to steer the conversation; “What was his name?”

“Matthew. Mum called his “Matty”.” She made a move, taking out three of his pawns; “They had him about a year after I came back home. I was nine or ten, don’t remember. Because of him, it was a nicer place for a while. Almost forgot Gran was very ill.”

He moved his King; “Do you have any idea how he died?”

“Honestly…..”

Joan looked at the chess board as if for the first time, she felt intimidated.

“We don’t have to speculate. You loved him though?”

“Yeah. He made my mum and dad happy. I couldn’t do that.”

She finally beat him after a moment of stillness.

“It’s hard playing this game with you.”

“Is that a good thing?” Jim watched her closely.

“Yes and no.”

She was ready to get out of the room, so Jim took no offence when she almost immediately did. He had prodded her enough information.

“ _Christ_ ….”

He had forgotten Dean was there; “You didn’t hear all of that?”

“If you’re planning to have those conversations with her, you better go somewhere more private.”

“Or you could just leave.”

“Maybe you need a second opinion.”

Dean could keep a secret.

“Miss Ramsey asked me to tell her if Joan said anything that she or Zimmerman needed to know”, Jim confessed; “at the same time, I….”

“You want to get close to her?” A big smile appeared on Dean’s face; “If she’s comfortable enough to tell you all that, you’ve already done well.”

“Should I tell one or both what she said?”

“Maybe Miss Ramsey.” Dean suggested; “I don’t know how much Joan knows about what you’re doing, but she’ll feel more insecure if you go to Zimmerman – especially if they’re not talking at the moment.”

Jim agreed; “Yeah.”

“And why can’t they just send in a therapist or something and not have you do this? Ebony’s Mum is one.”

Dean had made a good point. Jim didn’t need to do this….

“I do want to help.”

“You want to help everyone you know Jim” said Dean, “but honestly – I think my fellow deputy needs professional help as well as us.”

Jim emailed his sister and asked her opinion. He didn’t know why it occurred to him to do it but since she knew about Joan….

She wrote back agreeing with Dean. And then she came up with a theory;

_Maybe the Mum did something to her brother so that’s why she wasn’t told? She should have at least gone to a grief councilor – seriously, ask her if she would speak to someone who can help her._

Sophie could be blunt, but she had a kind heart.

_At least soon you’ll have an answer to that question; “How’d your sister die?”_

And a sick sense of humor.


	2. Therapy?

“Something wrong Ebony?”

Ebony was home after her first day back and her mother noticed she seemed down. Her daughter’s girlfriend Susan was staying over and that usually meant a girl who needed to be told to calm down.

Susan answered for Ebony; “One of our friends had a terrible term and a terrible Christmas.”

“Which one?”

“The Deputy Head Girl?”

Ebony’s mother knew; “How… terrible?”

Ebony jolted forward and ranted about everything – from her own treatment towards Joan to finally learning about the ban and that Joan couldn’t even attend her Gran’s funeral.

“And I just want it to stop!” Ebony held her head like it would explode; “Have at least one month where I don’t have to hear she’s been targeted or read that stupid paper!”

Ebony’s father rather guiltily out his own paper away; “This is the same girl who caused the incident four years ago?”

Ebony banged the table; “It wasn’t her who caused it!”

“Aries.” Her mother warned her husband to not say a word.

“Why is she getting punished for something that wasn’t her fault? You should know Dad, you talked to the officers!”

Ebony’s father – Aries Vicker’s – was one of the few police officers on the Island. Therefore, one of the few who knew a lot about the controversial case; “They made the mistake of contacting an underaged outsider when they should have contacted us. Their station was disciplined, and the committee wanted Dr Brookes to hand the girl over, but he wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, because it’s stupid!”

“She had a chance to explain her actions.”

“Didn’t you hear what her mother did?”

“It would have been in an environment where she could talk. Your mother could have helped.”

“Honestly I don’t know if I could.”

Ebony’s mother – Sian – was the Island’s psychologist and one of three doctors. She mostly dealt with the children of the Island including the students.

“Because you think she deserves it?” Ebony was appalled.

“I actually went to see her.” Her mother didn’t like her tone; “And I can’t tell you much but I have to say to your father – that child was in no state to be with anyone but with Mr Zimmerman. And Dr Brookes agreed.”

“So, you actually told Dr Brookes to keep her away?” Susan asked.

“I recommended it to him and the committee. They still insisted she come but the Headmaster openly said he would not cause anymore trauma for the child.”

“So they just banned her from leaving the Island all together?” Ebony asked.

“Until she’s eighteen.”

“But her Gran died! Why didn’t they let her go if Zimmerman was going anyway?”

“I don’t know.” Aries had to admit; “And now that’s out, we have a few disgruntled people against the committee.”

“Good.”

“Not good for me. I have to put up with it. I had the Smith’s and the Law’s at my face asking why I allowed it – I don’t make the decisions; I’m only paid to keep the peace.”

“At least people can see this is bullshit.”

“One more swear word….” Her mother warned.

“I just want to do something nice for her. Can’t she come and visit for one day or something?”

Her parents looked at each other.

“Ebony, most locals do agree with your feelings but at the same time, we don’t want to put the girl in an awkward situation. Unless she stays in the house but I think you’d like to take her to the museum or something?”

“Joan’s very into history, yes.”

“Ask away then. But find out what she likes to eat. Some autistic young people have foods they want to avoid.”

“Mr Zimmerman orders her fish and chip every weekend. She loves that.”

“I’m not paying that amount of money for five mouths….” Her father sighed.

“Yes you are.” His wife replied.

He picked up his paper; “And Ebony, make sure she doesn’t see the front page from today.”

Ebony took it off him.

_Committee’s Leniency Challenged. Weepy Headmaster demands Ignored._

_Despite the clemency shown by our committee four years ago, Clarifloors Headmaster Dr Chris Brookes is still condemning the chosen punishment for Ferox student J. Miller, now this year’s Deputy Head Girl after a statement was sent asking for a few days away at Christmas term. The committee agreed that Christmas or family matters was no reason for the ban to be lifted and a decision was made to ignore the full statement without a hearing._

_Miller’s actions four years ago left our Island in a state of panic when the then twelve-year-old was called upon by outside police force to give permission to come and talk. When asked, the student replied that never happened despite witness testimony. Many locals agree that despite the horrific situation that happened in her family life, the student must be hold accountable for her actions._

“But Joan is the worst liar. She told me she didn’t do it and I knew straight away she was telling the truth. She didn’t even have her phone at the time. When I was punched in the nose and caned, I heard Zimmerman ask Gladys if we stole her phone.” Ebony held it up; “Can I bin this?”

Both Sarah and Tom got an email from Ebony’s mother telling them about her conversation and offering her service if they felt it was needed.

For her part, Joan began returning to see Tom, but she didn’t really talk to him. She read, ate or stared at his collection of trains. Even when Sarah was there, she didn’t speak.

She was feeling the same feelings she felt when she heard what her mother had done, but this felt deeper. Gran was someone who….

“It’s ok to cry about it.”

Sarah was watching her from Tom’s sofa.

Joan’s hands were sticky from Tom’s turkey; “I’m ok.”

Her plate fell on the floor.

“Sorry.”

It was the most she had spoken since boxing day.

Tom picked it up; “It doesn’t look cook. I can put it back in or bin it.”

“I don’t really want it.” Joan said regretfully; “I’m full.”

She also felt rather sick. Since Boxing day.

She hadn’t smoked since boxing day and she didn’t miss her cigarettes that much. Joan was used to wrestling with herself, so any temptation was easily supressed hard.

That was a good thing, she supposed.

Still….

“Are you still angry with me?”

She was surprised; “Huh? Um, no.” She shook her head; “No.”

“Then why don’t we talk like we used too?” Tom asked impatiently with some desperation.

Joan felt sorry for him; “I don’t know.”

“That’s ok.”

Sarah wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to say.

Joan appeared to show some relief though and she offered to clean the dishes.

Sarah took Tom into his office and told him that Jim had spoken to her.

Tom felt his spirits drop even lower: “no…. No I didn’t even know about this….”

“Keith didn’t even send photos?”

“No.”

They made sure Joan was well out of the way before Tom made the call to her father.

“ _She told you about Matty?_ ”

Tom was surprised at the anger. He had Keith on speaker so Sarah could hear everything.

“Not exactly” Tom admitted; “But I heard enough to know you had a son.”

“Yes, I had a son.” Keith muttered bitterly; “I loved him. He made Tammie better. Then she had to fuck everything, and everything went back again.”

“Did Tammie harm him?” Tom dared to ask.

“She left him alone in his cot. She should have had him in our bed, and he died in the night.”

“Did you tell Joan?”

“I didn’t need to.”

“I understand why you didn’t tell me Keith; I’m just worried Joan may feel she was left out.”

“What happened wasn’t her concern. And if she’s crying to you about it, tell her she barely knew him. All she did was try to hug him when we told her not to touch him.”

“Because….?”

“Because she could have hurt him! You know this Tom, I told you – warned you. She could have easily killed him herself – she doesn’t know her owns strength. She nearly chocked me out when I tried to restrain her once. Animal.”

Tom tried to be patient despite his own anger rising; “Did you get a grief councillor for her?”

“For Tammie yes.”

“But not Joan?”

“Why? She wasn’t the mother.”

“My God….” Sarah covered her face.

“Did you tell the school?” Tom hid his feelings as best he could despite the sadness on his face.

“No and then they called us right in the middle of the funeral and we had to tell them to keep her there. Self-pitying little shit….”

“She had just lost her brother Keith” Tom responded quietly, struggling now.

“And I’ve told you, she didn’t have to care for him. And if she’s winning that she never went to his funeral, I hope seeing her Grandmother’s coffin showed her that she wasn’t missing much.”

Tom decided he couldn’t carry on; “I just want you to know that I’m considering getting a therapist in to see her.”

“Good luck – still going out with her teacher?”

Tom tried to sound happy; “Yes.”

“If she can put up with our Joan, she’s an angel. Make sure my kid doesn’t stress her out too much.”

The father coughed badly.

“Are you alright?” Tom asked.

“Still stuck in here for four fucking years and I don’t know why.”

“Have you asked?”

“Of course, I have, no one will give me a good answer here. None of them are even English.” Keith sighed; “I’m sorry Tom, I know I sound harsh, but I do miss my kid. After Matty died, I wanted her to be the best she could be, but nothing was working. I get frustrated thinking about all the stress she puts on you and I can’t be there to try and help.”

“It’s fine.” Tom said bluntly; “Try and rest.”

He hung up quickly.

“What’s wrong with him now?” Sarah asked.

“He has throat cancer.”

Sarah closed her eyes; “Have you told Joan?”

“I can’t bare too.” Tom shook his head; “And he knows what’s going on, he’s playing up for sympathy.”

“He doesn’t have mine.” Sarah’s tone was cold; “He has suffered but he lied about his daughter and has caused Joan so much pain. And you’re friends with this man?”

“He was a different person in school. He picked a fight with anyone who even threw a nasty word at me and when I visited, he and Tammie always seemed happy. We had barbecues in the garden and I’d sometimes see Joan wondering around quietly. I should have paid more attention….”

“Sian…?”

Sarah was asking if they should contact Ebony’s mother.

“I think we should talk to Joan first, let her feel part of it.”

In her room, Joan lit up a cigarette and regretted it quickly. The taste was awful.

She went to rip up her mask but stopped.

How else would she learn more about Hillman?

She just didn’t need to smoke anymore.

She was happy with that idea and simply put the package she had already opened in her drawers.

A stupid mistake.


	3. The Gazette

One thing she couldn’t stop herself from doing was reading “The Mithridates Gazette”. Not because it was interesting or that the crosswords were actually any good, but because sometimes, she – or at least a mention of the “big incident” - would be on it.

Having helped confiscated and secretly read enough “Gazette’s”, Joan knew the owner’s name.

Roald Homolka.

And she also knew he was Gladys’s uncle.

If he was the committee and Dr Brookes had a strained relationship with said committee, Joan could see why the Headmaster might be intimidated in expelling the girl.

Strangely, Gladys never boasted about it to her friends or victims.

Maybe even she felt he was a douche.

That would be an interesting topic to bring up the next time she got caught in another ambush. With Ron, Gladys couldn’t keep her mouth shut –

She found herself falling as she went to Miss Ramsey’s office. She broke her fall by grabbing an open locker and holding on.

Then she felt a grab on the shoulders and squirmed out of it.

Juno Olwen.

Joan had no time for idiots; “Get to class.”

Olwen grabbed her again and pushed her into the lockers -

“Olwen!”

Juno saw the press team watching her and backed off as Madison took a picture; “Fuck off!”

“Same to you!” Daniel almost rushed at her.

“You have a Maths lesson, don’t you?” Joan suddenly asked.

Juno went pale.

“Go and see Miss Ramsey. _Now_.”

She just left.

“What’s wrong with her?” Simon asked. “I know she had issues with some teaches but I’ve never seen her go after other students.”

Madison noticed the Deputy Head Girl was shaken; “Joan, do you want to grab a water bottle in our office or something?”

“um… Sure….”

The office of the Ferox press team was very close to the common room. It was not as well equipped as most of the facility’s but it had a scanner, two laptops and the walls were covered in pictures from way back when a press team even existed. By tradition, as always, there was always three people on the team.

Joan took a water bottle; “In all due respect, don’t use that in the paper.”

“We’re going to show Miss Ramsey.” Madison said, “in all due respect as you say – we have to look out for each other.”

She noticed the rather annoyed look she was given but didn’t blame her – on the past, Madison had seen Hillman, or her friends yell at or trip up Joan but did nothing.

“Scanner’s not working so we need to see her anyway. Get it fixed or replaced.” Said Simon. “We’re going to have to borrow hers.”

“She won’t like that.” Joan warned.

“No but she’ll let us.”

Joan noticed something out of the corner of her eye and went to get a closer look.

“Um…. Yeah….” Madison felt awkward.

The Mithridates Gazette.

About ten of them….

Joan looked at them; “Why are those there?”

“Oh,” Daniel was no actor, “We confiscated them.”

Joan picked one up and looked at the front cover.

“Joan, I wouldn’t.” Madison tried to take it off her.

It was too late.

Joan put it down; “The three of you will report to the office and hand those in.”

Then she paused. She looked at the paper. Then at the three students.

“You know what? _Fuck it_.” Joan sat down, got a pen and paper and began to write.

“Joan?” Madison was worried.

Within a minute, Joan wrote down something on a piece of paper with handwriting that would have scared even the Headmaster.

She presented it to them; “Can you do something with this? Make it presentable, check for spelling mistakes, cut out the swearing – just make sure it’s clear it’s from me?”

Simon let out an awkward laugh; “I did not know you had a filthy vocabulary.”

“My Mum’s a wrestler. Was. You hear dirty things all the time.”

“I don’t even know half these words. You want us to print a clean version?”

“Yeah. This month or next - I don’t care.”

“We’ve nearly finished this month, so we can squeeze it in.”

“Are you sure about this?” Madison asked; “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“Write down it was an order. The three of you won’t get into much bother-”

“But you’ll still get in trouble.”

“Yeah.” Joan got up; “I have to say something you know?”

“But you will have the council against you.” Said Daniel.

“They already are.” Simon responded; “I’ll sort this out Joan. If they try to punish us, I’ll say I agreed.”

“Simon!” Madison scolded.

“You have to be dangerous in this line of work. Besides, it might be quite cool that they even read a student paper.”

Madison looked at Joan; “Are you really sure?”

Joan nodded; “I look forward to seeing what you can do.”

She left quickly.

“I love her now.” Said Simon as he started making the corrections, barely struggling not to laugh at the more colourful words.

“Maybe we could put it in with the adverts? No one reads them.” Daniel proposed.

“Advert sections already completed. We still have our page on what the team did because well – it’s not the end of the month.”

“Simon, are you sure?”

“I told you, I’ll take the brunt of it.”

“So will I.” Madison pointed out; “fine. She said she’ll go down for it.”

Joan didn’t tell her team members what she did. She figured it would be a “nice” surprise.

But she wasn’t stupid and knew that some way of the other, someone was going to make her pay.

She didn’t care.

She almost forgot about what she had done when she discovered how much prep she had to do for her exams. Prep was dull for someone who was able to memorise and pick things up as quickly as her and stressful despite that advantage. Her Prelims – she felt - weren’t as good as they could have been though everyone agreed she’s done as well as she could with such a terrible term.

“Something happen?”

Jim interrupted her thoughts.

“uh... yeah. Sent Juno Olwen to the office.”

Dean was the only other person there; “She tried to ambush you?”

“Yeah but the press team were there, and I remembered she had a maths lesson.”

“And she didn’t even argue?” Dean scoffed; “Weak.”

“Did she hurt you?” Jim asked.

Joan, as much as she thought it was very kind, was starting to get annoyed by Jim’s constant worry; “No, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure-?”

“Jim.” Even Dean knew Jim was being annoying; “She answered you.”

“Where’s Ebony?” Joan quickly changed the subject.

“Celia came in crying. They’ve both chosen the girls for the Hockey team, but they weren’t listening to her.” Dean responded; “Mrs Oliver’s will probably get involved – maybe get her paddle too.”

Disrespecting your sports Captain was very frowned upon.

“They disrespected Celia?” Jim knew her; “I’m surprised she didn’t slap any of them.”

“Celia’s been watching her temper since she and Amelia got into that fight last year and she ended up on the wrong end of Oliver’s arm…” Dean could see talking about Amelia brought a change of colour on Joan’s face; “so she’s trying to be nicer. Still the same pal. We’re training for the Winter Run.”

Joan groaned quietly.

“Ebony and I were outside this morning” Jim then looked at Joan; “I’m not going to ask.”

“Good.”

Both boys laughed.


	4. The Winter Run

The “Winter Run” was a charity event run by Lord Riando and his family to raise funds for more projects that he and his council could work on. Funds were raised from outside help, but it was always a welcome thing to have an event that included everyone.

Dr Brookes has always had a strained relationship with the council, but the money did go to good causes on the Island and so this event was critical to him. The team had to go.

Joan was no runner, so she was a little left out of the team’s preparation. She did offer to make sure that water supplies did indeed come when the runners ran up to the school. The school was both the start and finish line and Joan hoped that by staying, she’d miss the excitement.

Where was the excitement in running anyway?

The court had a meeting about it. Jim, Ebony and Dean confirmed they would be running. Joan said she wouldn’t. Ebony asked if she wanted someone to stay with her but Joan said no.

Blair had offered to stay with her, so he was a little offended when she declined. He realised all they’d be doing would be sitting and watching so he eventually shrugged and joined the friends he had managed to make.

Since it was during a bank holiday, the “outsiders” used the school to get ready while the locals went home. Dean and Susan arranged a time to go to Ebony’s house on the day of a race, so they would start together.

“Ebony told me she wouldn’t be doing it,” Dean said to Susan.

“She always says that.” Susan giggled, “considering how much trouble she’s been in, she’s probably eager to leave her house.”

It was a running gag among Ebony’s friends that every time a friend of hers came to meet her at her door or stay the night, Ebony or one of her siblings would somehow get in trouble with which her parents would punish them the “good old-fashioned way.” And sure enough, when Dean and Susan came to pick her up, they heard what sounded like clapping followed by a grunt or a cry of “ouch!” Her mother greeted them by telling them to wait at the door as they had a “family meeting with Ebony right now.” The living room door was left wide open. One quick peek from Dean confirmed what was going on.

“Bare bum. Over his knees” he signed to Susan who tutted in annoyance. She hated to wait.

It was always an awkward situation to be in. Not that the parents were any different to most of the Mithridates families. Ebony’s parents were probably the most welcoming to outsiders and their kids seemed happy and content. But to Ebony’s “outsider” friends, it was still not pleasant to hear or see the chosen discipline. It was rather too open compared to the school’s more private path.

“Ow! Ow! Ouch!! Aahh!!!” Ebony’s annoyed yelps were heard; “Ok! Dad! Ok!!! Oww!!!”

Dean, who had never received corporal punishment, couldn’t help but have another look. Ebony’s red cheeks glared back at him as her father turned to his wife; “Will that do?”

“I guess so.” Obviously, Mrs Vicker’s had been deeply insulted by whatever Ebony had done.

Dean felt a sharp slap from Susan, silently telling him to stop being a perv.

Susan and Dean heard him scold her though they didn’t hear his words. Ebony was still fixing her skirt as she tried to leave the house.

“Come home at six ok?” her father was heard to shout to her.

“Yes sir.”

Children in Mithridates called their father’s “sir” when in trouble.

“Any more of that, it’s the belt.” They heard her mother say as they quickly left.

“I’m starting to wonder whether it’s bad luck for us to meet you-” Dean began to tease once the students were outside.

“Shut up.”

“What did you do this time?” Susan asked.

“They got my school report. So of course, they know I got a detention, the cane, the strap and why. Mum scolds me for “bullying”, I got it in my head to talk back to mum.” Ebony sighed, “I asked them to wait till tonight but Dad’s at work and Mum’s already planning to deal with Harrow.”

Harrow was one of Ebony’s two brothers who shared her “talent” of getting himself in trouble.

“She can’t deal with you both?” Dean asked.

“No. My parents prefer to give us separate attention – apparently doing it all together is tiresome.”

Susan didn’t care to know; “I see.”

Ebony was already over it; “I got off lightly at least.”

Despite Dean’s interest to carry on the conversation, the girls were eager to get to the school to start the race. Jim and Joan were already there – Jim in his P.E kit while Joan was in her casual clothes – black shirt, blue jacker and black trousers. She never seemed to wear anything else out of school uniform. The others just guessed it was due to the autism and never bothered to ask her why.

If they did, Joan would have been honest – everything but her school uniform had been taken in the past. Tom had bought her these clothes and kept them in his rooms for her to change into but due to work and Joan’s reluctance to go to town on her own, she only had these boring but decent clothes. No one liked a whiner, so Joan never complained. Plus, she didn’t even care.

She ignored the sneers of Gladys Hillman and her crew as they took their water and bit her lip once Miss Ramsey left her side after having a chat. It was moment like the Winter Race that she felt the loneliest. She didn’t know why.

“You’ve been left on water duty?”

Mr Read.

Shit.

“Yes sir.”

“I’m not racing this year. Got a bad lump on my leg I’m afraid.”

Joan didn’t buy his tone – friendly as it was. She used her eyes to look for help but the race was about to start. No one could help her.

“I heard what happened over the holidays.”

_Shit._

“Yeah?”

“Listen I sympathise with your situation. You wanted to go home for your Grandmother and that was denied. They didn’t even have a meeting about it, just flat out denied it. That must have hurt.”

Joan looked around for help, but no one was watching.

“I just want to tell you not to instigate anything.”

“Huh?”

“I wouldn’t have thought you’d so anything last year – but somethings made you different this year. You’re more prone to lash out. You used to just keep your head down nut somethings happened to you. You want to punish them all for what they did don’t you?”

Joan was confused; “No, that’s not it.”

“But you won’t stay quiet if they happened to be here.”

“I guess not….”

“Don’t do anything foolish. That’s all I’m saying.” And he got up to leave.

“Is your wife ok?”

He looked at her; “I’m sorry?”

“Is your wife ok?”

“Yes,” He gave her a look; “You need to stay out of my business.”

“Maybe you should stay out of mine.”

“You see? Last year’s Joan Miller would just sit there silently. Now you fight.”

Joan felt uncomfortable; “Tom said I shouldn’t even be talking to you.” She now got up and headed for the school.

“I’m sorry for what I did.”

Joan stopped and looked at him.

Read was blushing a little; “I should not have behaved as I did to you last year, it was uncalled for and I…. I thought of you as the only “safe” place to vent my frustration. Yes, I’ve had a bad time, but I should not have got you involved.”

No response.

“Do you accept it? My apology?”

Joan’s eyes narrowed; “Ok.” And she went back inside.

“She’s forgiven you.”

Read turned and saw Miss Ramsey and Mrs Oliver’s behind him. The Ferox House Mistress had spoken up; “But she can’t forget so don’t be surprised if she avoids you.”

“What else am I supposed to do?”

“You could stop worrying yourself over it.” Mrs Oliver’s said; “carry on with your classes, don’t get involved with her life. That’s for Tom and Sarah to worry about.”

“Has he even proposed yet?” John asked Sarah.

“No.” Sarah admitted, “his focus right now is on Joan. She’s…. Not been handling herself well.”

“If you want my professional advice, get someone in to speak to her – maybe Dr Vicker’s or even Dr Tucker – if you don’t want a local, I can arrange for someone to come.”

“I don’t think the committee will allow another doctor or therapist to see her John. We had Sian over the first time, but the child was in no state -”

Sarah suddenly saw Joan coming back.

Mr Read watched her as she picked up her bag she had left; “Joan, why aren’t you speaking to Tom?”

_Really John?_

Both Linda and Sarah could have slapped him.

Joan scratched her face; “We do talk.”

“Not about what happened over the holiday or how you feel.”

“To be honest, I don’t want him to worry.”

“And that’s it?”

Joan noticed Miss Ramsey and so gave a silent shrug; “If it’s all the same sir….” She went up to him and whispered; “can we talk when no one else is listening?”

His voice was quiet; “Do you want to talk to me?”

“Not really, but you won’t go and tell Tom or _her_.”

“What’s wrong with Miss Ramsey?”

“She tells him everything.”

She didn’t even say this in a the usual “nasty teenage way”. John could see she genuinely didn’t want to worry the guy.

“Why don’t you want him to care about you?” He asked; “Don’t you want supporters?”

Sarah could just about here them as she and Linda pretended to be more interested in the folder the House Mistress of Obair had with her.

“I’m not comfortable with people caring about me.”

“Why not?”

Joan lost her confidence; “Tom says I shouldn’t be talking to you. Sorry.”

And she left.

“I don’t care if Tom wants to wait it out, she needs help.” Linda said John’s thoughts.

A cheer from the other teachers and the Head of Houses had to join them as Celia Spencer became the first student to return and receive her medal.

Joan went to Tom’s office and remembered he was running.

She almost wished he was there.

In fact, she wished she was still talking to John Read.

And she still thought of Read as a bit of prat.

She was unsure why being alone was getting to her today.

Everything was a struggle to understand.

She held her ears as a roar from the crowd came from outside. She didn’t let go of her ears until the horns being mercilessly played started to die with the crowd’s laughter, groans and cheers.

“You ok Miss Miller?”

It was Adams. He looked very concerned.

“Not really sir.” Joan was embarrassed; “Is there a sandwich or something?”

“There’s bread and ham, do you want me to -”

“No I’ll do it.”

The students found themselves in the lead and they smiled at each cheering local child that waved the Mithridates flag or threw a sweet at them. So far, it was all fun.

That all changed as the race went around Lord Riando’s big mansion. His staff waved handkerchiefs from the front door and the windows and the Lord’s family braved the mud to give the racers a warm welcome.

Jim didn’t see Dean fell but he heard a gasp from Lady Mary and then saw Ebony grabbed Susan to get her attention. Dean lay on the ground, pale.

Celia Spencer stopped and helped him up; “You’re not wearing your proper trainer’s you idiot!”

Dean was about to say something back when he groaned and had to lie down.

An older woman came forward; “Help him up and follow me.”

It was the Mansion’s cook – Mrs Anderson. She was well known on the Island for her tough no nonsense approach to dealing with the young chargers in her kitchen. Her cooking was as legendary as her supposed temper.

“You guys carry on, I’ll be fine.” He told his friends.

So they carried on, catching up with a few fit locals and ran as hard as they could once they saw the school.

If you could reach the school within three hours, you were rewarded a green and black tie that you could wear as part of your uniform. For the athletic student, this was must so there was a mad rush.

Celia manged to catch up and earn her tie which she was very pleased about.

Ebony, Susan and Jim just made it but didn’t finish. They didn’t care. Tired but an overwhelming sense of achievement, they went to find the water station.

The water station was there. But Joan was gone.

Instead they found Read, Mrs Oliver’s and Miss Ramsey talking.

Jim thought that was odd. He thought Miss Ramsey hated his House Master.

They saw him; “Morrison, can you come here?”

Jim helped himself to the water; “Sir?”

“Have you spoken to your Deputy Head Girl recently?”

“Is something wrong?”

Miss Ramsey showed some worry; “Has she said anything that’s made you concerned?”

“Only what she said about Matty.” Jim took a long drink; “She speaks more when I play chess.”

“You’re awful at it.” Ebony grabbed a drink; “She’s talk more if you could play better.”

“I’m not a spy.” Jim responded; “I just want to help.”

“Why not just tell her to her face that we all want to help?”

“Joan is very sensitive Miss Vicker’s, which is why we want your mother involved.”

“Why don’t I just invite her round? Then Joan will get to know her.”

“Would you do that?” Tom’s eyes pleaded.

“If it means it’ll help. Yes. My mum’s not in the best of moods with me right now but I think she’ll want to help.”

Zimmerman’s phone ran and he answered; “Yes?”

It was Adams; “Mr Zimmermann, you better come up.”

He sighed; “What happened?”

“She was making herself a sandwich and I offered her a knife.”

“Adams, I told you she has a fear of knives. What did she do?”

“Gave me a look that stopped me in my tracks and started muttering about – well to be honest, all I heard was “mother””.

“Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m just concerned I’ve triggered something. She’s in your bathroom now and I’m hiding your kitchen knives.”

“Do you want me to come up?” Sarah asked.

Tom hung up and nodded.

Joan had locked herself in the bathroom and tried to settle as she lay in the dry bathtub.

She never really used a bathtub for anything else. Sinks made her skin crawl and a filled bath was the stuff of nightmares. She must have been at least three when she last had a real bath and she remembered….

She’d just been feeling better and she had to remember _that_.

Why was she doing this to herself?

She heard banging.

It got into her head.

She grabbed it and whimpered.

Tom was outside, banging on the door; “Joan? Joan!” He knocked harder; “Joan!”

They could hear the whimpering.

“Jesus, Adams what did you do?” He angrily asked as Sarah took over.

“I don’t know sir” Adams was lots for words; “I only asked if she wanted a knife to butter her bread.”

They heard more noise in the bathroom, as if someone had fallen.

“I know how to reverse the lock!”

Ebony and Jim were in the office, but the door was open, and they could see the panic.

Tom gestured to the Head Girl to come in and Ebony pulled out a small screwdriver –

“Why do you have that?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“The Hapus students play a lot of pranks.” She answered as she got to work; “I actually told Joan to get one of these, but she said neither of you would approve.”

The door was opened.

Water caught Ebony’s ankles and she shrieked.

Miss Ramsey ran in and found her student on the ground, breathing heavily.

Tom rushed in and his girlfriend heard what the start of a panic attack; “She’s fine. She’s just run out of energy.” She calmly turned off the taps in the sink. “Go and sit-down Tom.”

“But-”

“Now.”

Ebony would have laughed if she wasn’t so scared. Miss Ramsey bent down on the wet floor and spoke in a low voice. Joan seemed to react like a zombie, but she managed to raise her head and the teacher helped her up. The student swayed but Miss Ramsey held on.

Jim was stunned; “I don’t understand, what happened?”

“Nothing bad.” Miss Ramsey was calm; “sometimes Joan does things and we’re not sure why. Then we sit down and talk about it once she’s calm.”

Tom got up and helped his colleague put the girl on the sofa, lying on her stomach.

“Please sit down.” Sarah whispered to him.

Tom obeyed. His chest hurt.

“I forgot about that….”

They all turned to Joan whose eyes were blurry and fatigue weighed her down. Her head drooped back on the sofa.

“About what?” Miss Ramsey asked, her voice low and soft,

Joan made a weak gesture towards the sinks and then covered her face,

“Morrison. Miss Vicker’s. Thank you.” Said Zimmerman. Jim and Ebony left, feeling exhausted; “Adams, take the rest of the day off.”

“I’m sorry sir-”

“Not your fault. We’ve all done things that have set this one off.” Then he noticed something; “What happened to your eye?”

The butler got nervous; “I uh…. Tried to reach out to calm her down it, uh, didn’t end well.”

Tom wished the ground to swallow him whole.

“I’ll deal with it.” Sarah told Tom.

“I should not have touched her-”

“It’s alright Adams”.

“Mr Zimmerman gave me instructions what to do, I forgot in the moment, it’s ok -”

“Adams, we don’t tolerate violence towards the staff. That means all staff. Even if she wasn’t aware of what she was doing, we must make sure this doesn’t happen again. We must ensure you are safe at work, that incidents like this are dealt with quickly and that you are satisfied with our commitment to your safety.”

Adam tried again; “I can assure you both, I don’t feel that my safety was jeopardised, I feel like Miller’s was.”

Miss Ramsey got even firmer; “Please do as Mr Zimmerman says.”

Adams left, feeling very sorry for the young student he felt he had unintentionally got in trouble.

“Are you sure?” Tom asked.

“I know what I’m doing.”

Joan had her eyes covered and Sarah gently lifted her shirt a little.

The scar glared back.

Tom’s chest pressed in harder; “I never saw that. In all these years-”

Sarah hid it away; “You need to calm down.”

“But she needs-”

“I know what I’m doing.” Sarah assured him; “go to your room or your office and calm down. You need space.”

“Please listen to her.”

Tom looked at his ward. She was much more alert and staring at him.

He wanted to hug her.

“Tom.” Sarah was firmer.

Tom went into his office and shut the door tight.

Then he sat on his of a and burst into tears.

Sarah turned to Joan; “Give yourself a minute. Then we’ll be having a word.”

“I need to clean -”

“No.” Sarah stopped her with a pointed finger; “concentrate on your breathing and clear your mind.”

There was a silence. Sarah watched the girl carefully, consciously not folding her arms and trying to look as relaxed as possible. Joan was not ready to respond to any firmness yet, not while in this state.

Sarah then quietly left the room and went into the office.

“You look dreadful.”

Tom looked up; “I’m sorry-”

“There’s a machine in here, make yourself something.”

“What about her in there?”

“What do you suggest? You can’t manage her in the state you’re in Tom. You’re agitated. If you expose her to that, that’s punishment enough.”

Tom knew she was right; “Do what you think you should do.”

“You won’t like it.”

“I don’t like punishing that kid. But I know she’s in safe hands with you.”

Sarah tried to smile; “If you hear anything that bothers you, you can come in and watch. Just remember not to disturb us.”

“I don’t know how to thank you Sarah-”

“Just get yourself a drink. I’ll order you both fish suppers later.”

Sarah went back into living room and saw Joan was nowhere to be seen. Then she heard some mumbling coming from the bathroom and to her relief, the door was open.

“What is your problem with me?” She heard Joan mutter to her fingers.

“Are you asking yourself that?”

Joan flinched and froze; “I guess so….”

Sarah looked round the room. Nothing else had happened so why was Joan behaving like she had been caught stealing something?

“I told you to stay on the sofa.”

Joan’s body rocked as she turned to face her teacher; “Am I in trouble?”

Sarah held back the urge to be gentler; “I know you’re feeling emotional and you’re obviously unsure how to deal with it but punching the butler and flooding the bathroom is not on. Is it?”

“No.”

Joan was not yet calm. Sarah took her shoulder and moved her out of the bathroom. Then she closed the door and moved her back onto the sofa.

“What is it with you and sinks?”

“I don’t know.”

“ _Joan._ ” Sarah was more careful with her tone; “ _I know_.” She could read the kids face and see she was panicking; “Settle. Settle. I just want you to tell me the truth and help me and Tom understand what’s wrong.”

Joan tried her best; “I don’t like sinks.”

“Because you’ve had your head held down right?”

She manged to nod despite the shaking.

Sarah’s hold on her became firmer; “That’s all I need to know, well done. When the time is right for you, you can tell us more ok? But why did you get upset about the knife? I know you’re scared of them, but all Adams did was ask if you wanted it buttered.”

She looked away; “Tom told me not to talk to Read….”

“Don’t change the subject, we’ll get to that, I want to know what was so wrong with what Adams did.”

“Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing if you couldn’t control yourself. Did he say anything that upset you? Did he hurt you?”

More shaking; “I just don’t life knives!”

“Were you hurt by one when you were younger?” Sarah grabbed Joan’s wrists as the girl attempted to grab her own hair; “Joan, give yourself a moment.” Joan put up a fight; “I know, I know, it’s ok-”

“I told her not to tell you.”

Sarah knew what she was talking about; “Matron Flavia is only doing her job. She wants to help you. Just like me and Tom.”

Joan’s strength seemed to leave her.

“What happened?”

Joan shrugged in confusion and despair; “I don’t know. It just happened.”

“That’s a good enough answer. You don’t need to tell me more if you don’t understand why.”

That seemed to calm the kid more who lay down.

Sarah gave the girl two minutes, watching her breath and become more like her old self. Clearer minded anyway.

“Matron didn’t deserve you’re abuse during the break either, did she?”

“No.” Joan admitted.

“Have you apologised?”

“We haven’t seen each other.”

“You didn’t think of going to find her?”

“No.”

“By tomorrow, I’ll ask her if you have. I also want you to apologise to Adams alright?”

“Yes.” Joan seemed more happier to do that. Adams didn’t annoy her; he was always welcoming and a face that showed sympathy when she was in trouble. She genuinely felt bad.

And she knew what was coming. And she felt it was well deserved just for what happened to poor Adams.

“I don’t personally know all the rules Tom sets for you but if you weren’t to talk to Read, why did you?”

“He came up to me first.”

“Then there was nothing else you could do there.”

“I didn’t know what to do Miss.”

“I accept that. However….” Sarah went through her bag she had left at her feet and picked out a hairbrush; “It’s one thing to get upset with the people who cause you wrong but another to harm those trying to help you. Do you know what I’m going to do with this?”

Joan blinked; “Gran used that on me.”

Sarah put it down; “Does that bring bad memories?”

“It was kind of deserved.”

“What did you do?”

“I put her cat in the oven. It wouldn’t leave me alone, so I shut it up there. Gran never used the oven much – I mean the area I actually put that thing in - but she was furious.”

“The cat could have died.”

“I suppose so.” Joan felt awkward; “it used to hide under tables, beds, around corners and then jump me. I got scratched so much, the school sent someone round to check I wasn’t being abused by Gran. It attacked small children as well. One kid went to the hospital with a bloody eye.”

“Why didn’t she get rid of it?”

“It was her second love. It was nice around her. Also scared off a burglar apparently. She always said I probably gave the cat a bad vibe. I said yes, because it was probably a serial killer in a past life. I’m not joking by the way. Cats are evil. I celebrated with an ice cream when it finally died. I think the neighbours and the mailman were relieved too.”

Sarah hid a grin and stayed firm; “going back to my first question, do you know what I’m going to do to you?”

Joan wasn’t quite sure if it was the right answer; “You’re going to use that on me?”

“I am. And I won’t ask you to tell you why, I know you are capable of understanding. You’re a very smart girl with a lot of heart, this was just a slip up that we need to address in the hopes it won’t happen again. Then all you need to do is apologise to these two people we discussed, I’ll remind them if they don’t accept, that it was not fully your fault. Tom and I won’t hold this against you either, but you have to accept some responsibility for your actions, and I know you do – please don’t torture yourself over it.”

Sarah was careful at not belittling Joan’s intelligence even in these situations. Joan’s self esteem was fragile even at the best of times and humiliating her even further was out of the question. The girl deserved to keep some dignity at least.

“Do you agree with me?”

Joan accepted her fate; “Yes.”

“Do you want Tom in here?”

Joan looked at the door and then shook her head.

Sarah got up from the sofa, her hands on her hips as she looked around the room. She saw the two hard backed chairs used for the small dining table, picked the one with the – in her mind – the more comfortable cushion and pulled it out from the table. She made it face the door and put the brush the table.

“Come here.” She said firmly but softly as she sat down and took off her watch. Like most girls in trouble, Joan was slow to move but she obeyed. Ignoring the already sorry face, Sarah encouraged her with a tug of the arm and had the girl over her lap.

“To ensure our staff are treated with respect;” Sarah put on her “teacher” voice as she lifted the skirt until Joan’s thighs and underwear were revealed; “and that they do not face violence or behaviour that is seen as bullying….” She gave a moment pause until she could feel the girl squirm on her lap; “We will correct such demeaning and childish behaviour with an equally demeaning punishment most fitting for a child.”

She then swiftly exposed the young quivering cheeks, leaving the clothing at the knees before starting on the right thigh. She felt a jolt from the girl and the withering had already started but she stayed focused and carried on.

Tom had made himself a coffee and was just enjoying the view outside his window when he heard noises that he knew was Sarah’s hand. He drank his coffee and silently went into his office.

Sarah, focussed on the task in hand, didn’t even look up or acknowledge his presence and so he sat at his desk and watched with a mixture of guilt, satisfaction and worry as she moved from the thighs to the cheeks.

He saw the brush lying on the table in wait as she – with a stoic face – used her hand. Like Tom, she was “crisp” but she was much slower, taking her time in-between which – in Tom’s concerned mind – was making it more difficult for the young girl.

He noticed that Joan, over Sarah’s lap and her skin getting the brunt of the punishment, was squirming a lot more under Sarah’s experienced hand. Her legs were also moving a lot more, waving to him as if they were slowly drowning.

Sarah stopped and pulled the girl over her own legs a little more; “This won’t get worse if you need to cry or have a moan;” her voice was firm but also soft; “I’ve already decided what you deserve, and it won’t change no matter if you keep silent or not.” She started again; “And I plan to make this a lesson I won’t need to repeat for a long time.”

A little more kicking and withering followed but still any whimpers or cries coming out of the girl’s mouth were too quiet for the adults to hear anything.

Tom felt more anxious.

It was then Sarah seemed to notice him, but she only gave him a brief glance before getting the brush; “Hold still.”

She didn’t use much strength behind the arm. She didn’t want to truly hurt the girl, just make her uncomfortable. The bright glow told her that her hand had already given a lengthy, discomforting lecture. She just gave each pair of red cheeks a small but swift strike. Two each.

Again silence.

Then, as Sarah delivered the fifth one, and to the left, the girl – with a sudden burst of energy – withered madly and whimpered.

Sarah hid her surprise well and stayed focussed at the task in hand; “I prefer to hear that than silence. Silence just means that you’re not sorry.”

The sixth got a quieter whimper but it was there.

Seven. Silence. Eight. A small yelp and more withering. Nine. A groan. Ten.

“Ow…..”

Sarah shut her ears quickly. Eleven.

Silence.

Twelve.

“Owww….”

Tom wondered how this kid still managed to yelp so quietly.

Sarah wisely decided to stop there; “ok.” She put the brush down and squeezed Joan’s shoulders; “Good girl, relax, take a deep breath.”

She felt the girl shudder and helped her up, putting her hands on her warm face; “We know that you don’t want to worry us, and we know you’re trying to handle things yourself. But Tom and I only worry more when you won’t tell us what’s wrong. We don’t want to rely on strangers or just guess when it could be wrong. You need to help us understand you. It’s one thing to fight your demons yourself – it’s another to be brave and accept you do need help.”

Sarah could see the tears trying to break out but Joan, ever the resilient one, somehow managed to hold them back and nod. Sarah embraced her and felt Joan’s hands slowly but then firmly hold on. She may have been hiding her tears, but she couldn’t hide her susceptibility.

“I don’t want to do this again for a long time ok?” She escorted Joan across the room; “Go into Tom’s bedroom and compose yourself. We’ll talk once feelings aren’t running so high.”

Tom waited until Joan was out of the room; “How do you do it?”

“I was a mother once remember.”

“You made it look easy.”

“She needs help Tom.” Sarah was serious; “Let her go to the Vicker’s. I’ll talk to Sian and let her know what her daughter said. Joan is still very guarded and the more she relaxes and gets to know the woman, the more she’ll get out of her.”

Tom went into his room where he found Joan sitting on his bed, looking and fidgeting with her fingers.

“Are you hurt?”

He knew that was a stupid question.

She shook her head.

“Joan… Listen I….” He gave himself a moment; “I’m not angry with you ok? I’m angry at myself – I should be better than this. I shouldn’t need to…. Not trust you. I know you’re old enough – you’re nearly sixteen, I should remember that. I’m just scared I’m just going to hurt you by exposing what’s against you.”

Joan’s face was serious; “No one’s perfect.”

“I was supposed to protect you. I promised your father I’d do right by you and I haven’t. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong – forget that – I know where I am going wrong. I just don’t know what’s the best thing for you. If I had any power, I’d stay by your side so no one would go after you.”

“Gran once told me that I’d have to face the world one way or the other.”

“You’re in a private school in a micronation Joan.”

“That is my world.”

“And you’re not safe.”

Joan shrugged. She had no answer.

“I don’t mean to worry but I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”

He watched her move forward a little on the bed and saw her flinch a little.

“I’m shocked you managed to stay that quiet through there, I could feel every blow.”

That got a chuckle; “I think I prefer your ruler.”

“Be honest with me Joan – is my methods working? Or does it make you afraid of me?”

“I’ve never been afraid of you as a person, I just want my Dad to have a friend.”

“And so you don’t want to tell me the truth?”

No response.

“If I’ve never said it…. You’re a good kid. And whatever your parents have done to you, they should be proud. I know your Grandmother would be is she’s looking down.”

He saw her grab her head.

“Hey…” he reached out and held her; “Hey….”

She didn’t cry, nor even whimpered but it was the right move on his part.

A call to the Vicker’s and it was agreed Ebony would ask Joan over the next month. Until then, Joan would be monitored by both teachers and the Head Boy and Girl.


	5. Dr Tucker

Dean found himself in the Ravenhall’s kitchens where Mrs Anderson and a footman who he learned was called Edmund helped him down to find a kitchen maid and a boot boy messing around on the only clearly comfortable chair in the room.

“Arthur! Gail! Get out of that chair and stop frolicking!”

At first Dean thought it was Gail Hampton but then he saw it was a slightly younger girl in a typical old-fashioned maid uniform.

“We weren’t frolicking Mrs Anderson!” Arthur – the boot boy – moaned.

“Do as I say! And Gail – find Edie or Katie and get some ice!”

Dean was sat on the chair and had his foot placed in an ice bucket. Dean hated ice but his ankle needed it.

Mrs Anderson then called back the two young servants; “report yourselves to see Mr Brown.”

“Must we?” Arthur looked embarrassed.

“Please Mrs Anderson-” the kitchen maid begged.

“Go!”

The two younger servants pushed past another servant – Dean knew it was a maid – who bobbed when she saw him; “Hello. Sorry, who are you?”

“Dean.” He answered.

“He had a fall.” Said the cook, “I’m going to call Doctor Tucker. Give him something from the pantry Estelle.”

Dean’s mind suddenly came alive; “Estelle? Redpath?”

She blushed; “Yes. You know of me?”

“You won a bravery award or something last year. You came to the graduation ceremony. I was just a prefect then, but I remember your story.”

“Thank you.”

Estelle Redpath was a very well known local who, while still a child, deserted the Island after her parents were killed in a freak fishing accident and she was adopted into a family where the father abused her. The committee organized a search with outside forces to find her and Estelle was given shelter in Ravenhall. She wrote about her experiences, sending the man who was a committee member to the cells where he still remained. She then joined the workforce and had been there ever since, working part time as a Sunday school teacher as well. Dean had seen her through the glass windows talking to the young children and a younger more immature him wanted to “ask her out”. For something in her early thirties, she looked for too young to have been long gone from school.

“I get a little embarrassed when outsiders know me.” She admitted; “they ask too many questions and….” She awkwardly chuckled.

Dean suddenly gasped as a stinging pain shot through his leg. Estelle took his wrist and he grit his teeth.

“Try not to touch the sides of the bucket.” She advised rather uselessly.

Luckily for Dean, any more awkwardness was spared when Doctor James H (the H stood for Hercules) Tucker – the Island’s main doctor – arrived with strong pain killers and a bandage to compress the injury.

“There were three students who broke or sprained their ankles.” He mumbled; “at least it’s just one.”

He wasn’t much of a talker.

Dean noticed some of the other younger servants watching him but didn’t dare approach him. The cook had clearly warned them off. He felt bad.

She returned and they scampered away; “they weren’t bothering you were they Mr Parks?”

“No Mrs Anderson.”

“I’ve already had to talk to Brown about those two,” she raised her voice so they could hear her; “and I don’t want to send anymore to him.”

As if on cue, a faint “crack” sound could be heard followed by a yelp.

Dean was both confused and mortified; “What’s going on in there?”

“The Butler probably.” Mumbled the doctor.

“He’s disciplining the servants.” Estelle said; “Don’t worry about it.”

She stood to attention as another woman appeared – a much older and slightly more comfortably dressed one who saw Dean and the doctor, muttered her welcomes and then paused as another yelp could be heard coming from the butler’s room.

“I see you’re an outsider?”

Dean was confused; “Sorry Ma’am?”

“You look surprised from the yelps coming from the Butler’s room.”

“Uh…” There was no point denying it; “I didn’t know that was allowed in work.”

“In this line of work, it is. Just tradition young man.”

“So just here?”

“I don’t ask and I’m not an expert.” She saw his badge; “Your part of the school team?”

“Yes. Deputy Head Boy.”

“We’ve been hearing stories up there.”

“Mrs Farr.” Estelle dared to scold.

“Might as well hear if it’s true. Deputy Head Girl is that child who bought the police here?”

Dean dropped his politeness; “No one got the police to your Island. They came to talk to her.”

“So, it is this Miller girl?”

“She’s my fellow Deputy yes. She’s not a bad person.”

“Perhaps-”

“Kalia!” Estelle used Mrs Farr’s first name, “Please.”

“Miss Redpath, watch your tone.”

Estelle bowed her head and helped the silent Doctor Tucker with Dean’s ankle.

“So, what’s the stories you’re talking about?” Dean prepared himself.

“The local children have been saying that she’s got up to a lot of mischief since she was on your team.”

“Most of it isn’t her fault.”

“But some of it?”

“I think she’s done well considering what happened.”

“They say she smokes and swears. That’s not a good representation for your school.”

“What Joan does is none of my business. Or yours.”

“I quite agree.” Mrs Anderson said, “You know how different these people are Mrs Farr, we cannot judge when we don’t know the full story. I remember when stories were going on about Estelle here and we found out the truth, but not before we believed she had lied about her own parents’ death.”

Dean saw Estelle quietly clench her fists. He felt sorry for her.

“I never believed that story.” Mrs Farr argued.

“Yet you believe an autistic girl planned to raid an entire Island when it’s clear those police made a mistake?”

“It wasn’t a mistake. They were there to talk to her.”

“The mistake was, they didn’t call his Lordship or our police. They called a young girl who’d just found out her mother had attempted to kill her father. Regardless what happened after, it’s to put the blame solely on her.”

“I don’t remember any damage happening,” Dean dared to speak up; “except Joan was traumatised. She won’t even talk about it to her closest friends.”

Mrs Farr was quiet.

Arthur entered, muttering a few bad words under his breath until he saw his Housekeeper; “Mr Brown wants you.”

She seemed relieved to go and Mrs Anderson shooed Arthur away as fresh yelps were heard from the Butler’s room.

“Don’t mind that lad.”

The doctor had finally spoken.

“Do all the locals think like that?”

“They believe different stories. Most of the locals are very much aware that what happened wasn’t the big deal it’s been painted to be. Unfortunately, any outside interference causes problems.”

“But it wasn’t Joan’s fault.”

“It’s easy for people here to pick an outsider as a scapegoat I’m afraid.”

“Does no one care then?”

“Not enough.” The Doctor got up; “It’s complicated. We are taught from birth that outside problems are for the outside and when they come in, it’s almost as bad as a murder. At the same time, we can’t close the border. I receive medicines from all over the world, your school gets donations – this Island wouldn’t be functioning as well as it is without outside support.”

“But Joan?”

“I don’t care for gossip young man, but I think it’s just easy for people with little drama in their lives to believe something was bigger than it was.”

“Is no one upset with the ruling?”

“We mostly just thought it was fair.”

“Even if it wasn’t her fault?”

“What we were told – she called them to the school. We – and the Gazette said so – thought she had called them to claim assault against the teachers or perhaps her parents were concerned for her. It’s only now over the years; we’re starting to learn what really happened.”

“There was no statement from the Headmaster of the committee?”

“Dr Brookes said it was a personal matter, but the child wasn’t to blame. Committee says they’ll be holding a trail to find out what happened – Brookes says no, he’s not going to put his student through anymore humiliation – small crowd demands something be done so hence the ban.”

“Joan’s Grandmother died last year. She wasn’t even allowed to go to the funeral. The committee dismissed Brooke’s proposal for a meeting to have her go.”

“That’s…. A real shame.”

Dean could see the doctor didn’t want to talk about it; “You know it’s wrong right?”

“Yes I do.”

“I’m an outsider. I respect your Island’s beliefs but what happened to Joan doesn’t reflect well on your community.”

Dr Brookes didn’t respond.

Estelle and Mrs Anderson both decided not to continue that topic and once Dean was helped out, they returned to the staff room where everyone, but Gail and Arthur, were resting. Those two were staring at the wall in disgrace.

“That young man certainly had a mouth on him.” Mrs Farr commented; “I heard him talking to Dr Brookes.”

“So did I.” Mrs Anderson replied; “And to be frank, he was correct. I respect Lord Cross and all, but I’ve never agreed with what he and his committee did to that young girl. When I saw her in church and how uncomfortable she was to be there, I’m ashamed I didn’t speak up.”

No one responded.

Mrs Oliver’s helped Dean into his room and asked how the staff had treated him.

“One or two of the staff made me mad Madam.”

Dean was always blunt with Mrs Oliver’s while still showing respect.

“You met the Housekeeper then?”

“You know her?”

“We – Mrs Farr, Mrs Anderson and I - were in the same group of friends when we attended this school. The committee is her first religion. I’ve given up talking sense to that woman but there aren’t many women my age I can talk too.”

“You’re not that old Miss.”

“Thank you for that observation Mr Parks.”

“Mrs Anderson spoke some sense, but I don’t think she liked hearing me agree with her.”

“She’s a good woman with a lot of sense – but don’t forget, she’s employed by his Lordship.”

“Still…. It made me angry. Made me forget the pain.”

“The best thing you can do for Miller is to be her friend. I wish I knew what we could do that’s more but….”

Dean felt defeated; “If most of the Island agree that she isn’t at fault, why are they still treating her as such?”

“Out culture believes in putting someone responsible for actions or inactions. In this case, the committee reached out in the dark and the community went along with it. And you know how hard it is for people to admit they are wrong.”

“So stupid.”

“It is. It is….”


	6. Homolka

“Sorry about Winter Run.”

Joan apologised to Jim and Ebony the next day. Dean still had a limp, but it wasn’t a serious sprain. Dr Tucker and the school nurse told him he had to rest it for a week which he was not happy about.

It had been a bad morning all around. Both Jim and Ebony had cramps in their legs while Dean struggled with his ankle. Then Joan had a morning lesson of her less than favourite subject which had been rescheduled a little too early for her liking. Maths, she completed the lesson quickly as per usual so spent the next half hour staring at maths problems she didn’t care about.

After lunch, the Court was to come together so she was excused but still had to collect her work to do in her own time. She decided to get a textbook in her locker when it happened.

Ruby Wade and a group of girls who weren’t in Hillman’s cult but were “friends”, were there chatting. Joan noticed that they looked over at her and giggled.

That was never a good sign.

And stupidly, she turned her back on them to open her locker.

Something metal hit her at the back of head.

The hallway went still.

“Like _that?_ ”

Joan relaxed her shoulders, got her textbook, avoided Ruby’s glare and her next swing with her keys and walked quietly to the safety of the office.

“Now what was the point in that?”

Ruby turned and saw her Head of House leaning by the drawers.

“Sir….” She was flustered.

“Give me those.”

Ruby handed over her keys.

“My office. Now.”

Joan was in deep with her prep in the office when Jim received a message about Ruby’s behaviour.

He looked at her; “Why didn’t you report it?”

“He was right there.” She answered, her mind on her books.

“And he didn’t stop it?”

“She didn’t make a grand gesture with it; it was very sudden.”

“At least he did something.” Dean said; “And he’s doing his duty. After what happened in November-”

All three stopped him with a glare.

“Sorry.”

That was when Joan apologised for her behaviour.

“Wait, what did I miss?” Dean was confused.

“It’s not important.” Jim didn’t want to embarrass Joan; “It’s fine pal, we’re just glad you’re ok now.”

“Are you hurt as well?” Joan asked him and Ebony as she watched them struggle to their desk.

“One, my legs hurt” Ebony moaned; “two, I’m still feeling my Dad’s hand from yesterday.”

“She got spanked.” Dean grinned as he said this to Joan.

“Don’t tell her!”

“It’s true!”

“Shut up!”

Joan wisely stayed quiet. She wasn’t going to admit she still felt Miss Ramsey’s hairbrush…..

To try and distract herself from the playful arguing, Joan picked up her House paper.

Oh.

Shit.

She had forgotten about that.

Luckily, no one saw her blushing and panic, so she drank some water and calmed down. Then smiled.

There was no need to panic. She had wanted to do this for a long time.

And now hopefully, she wouldn’t be asked how she really felt by the younger, more inquisitive students.

In the press room, Daniel, Simon and Madison were studying before planning on their next paper. Daniel’s atopic eczema had taken him out for a week, and he was desperate to catch up.

Simon however was distracted; “Do you think anyone will comment on Miller’s statement?”

Madison had had this conversation three times already; “Yes Simon.”

“Well excuse my enthusiasm Miss Kostas – but do you know how much I had to work to make that presentable?”

The door opened.

Daniel felt a tug by Madison as she and Simon stood up. One look to the door and Daniel hastily obeyed, dropping his notes.

Mr Read looked around; “Who put Miller’s statement up?”

“We all did.” Madison said, not planning to blame one person.

“Is this a prank or is this true?”

“She came to us with a statement sir.” Simon spoke up; “And by her order, we put it up.”

“By her order?”

“She said to tell anyone that if we were questioned.”

“Where’s the original statement?”

Read saw the panic. Simon reluctantly went through his drawer on his desk and gave Read Joan’s original, uncensored version.

Read looked at it quietly to himself then folded it neatly; “I didn’t realise the Deputy Head Girl had a colourful vocabulary on her. I’m sure you – Mr East – had a great time making this presentable. You kept the energy and the mood but left out the language. Smart. How well are you doing in English?”

“The three of us are in the Advanced English Class sir. With Miss Landy.”

“Really?” Mr Read actually looked impressed; “third years?”

“I’m not actually” Daniel shyly spoke; “I’m just taking the Journalism part of the course.”

“That’s still impressive.” Read put the statement in his pocket; “I’m going to show this to her Head of House but I’ll make sure the three of you don’t get into too much trouble for this – if it was indeed an order and this is not a prank.”

Simon waited until the teacher was gone; “He still hasn’t forgiven us for November.”

Madison was concerned; “Ramsey is going to kill Joan.”

“What about us?” Daniel began to panic.

“We can still argue it was an order. Joan won’t go back on her word for that.” Simon assured him.

John didn’t go to see Sarah. Instead, he went to Tom’s classroom and without a word, left the Ferox paper and the original statement at his desk. The second year class – mostly Ferox students were confused when their teacher, after reading both, called down Mr Valery from the Arts classes to take over the last fifteen minutes and excused himself.

He went straight to Sarah’s office and found her as she was about to leave for her English class.

“It’s Joan.” He just said.

“What has she done?” Sarah was confused.

Tom gave her the Ferox paper. Then the original statement.

Just as she finished, the phone ran.

Meanwhile, the team were having their monthly meeting with the court.

For a team of prefects who had seen a lot of drama with their team, it was odd that no one seemed to gossip about it. Ever since November, Jim and Ebony had secretly ordered everyone not to mention Joan’s awful experience with Mr Read or the other incidents, but the court still offered praise to the team for Constans Bell’s rescue. Bell’s father had sent a generous sum on money to the court for their final party and the younger members of the court were already planning the treats they would have.

Joan had lost of a lot of confidence since the revelation of the ban as well as the Read incidents, so no one was surprised that she didn’t speak at all. She was her usual awkward but responsive self when the spotlight was elsewhere, but during the meeting, she wrote some notes and was silent.

The meeting was dull. Normal. What was not normal – and Jim and the other experienced members of the Court noticed this – was that from the beginning, everyone had attended. Often there would be absences with sometimes only two prefects attending. But this year was different. Everybody seemed keen to have their say or just listen.

Even Blair was still attending, despite the awkwardness between him and the others. Especially after his behaviour during the Christmas term.

Even in a strange school like Clarifloors, this was not normal.

As the longer than normal meeting progressed, Sam entered and sheepishly tiptoed to Joan and got her attention by tapping her shoulder.

“Sorry um…..” Sam gestured to Joan to come outside.

The others pretended not to notice but once the door was closed, the meeting stopped, and everyone went silent as they tried to listen.

Both Joan and Sam were too quiet so when Joan returned without him, she was met with everyone’s eyes on her.

“What’s wrong with him?” Gail asked.

“Uh… He just wanted to warn me about something.”

“Is it Hillman?” Ebony stood up.

“No but it’s her Uncle.”

Jim frowned; “What did you do?”

“Nothing…. Bad. I think.”

The team and Court stared at her.

Joan’s ankle squirmed and she looked elsewhere.

Yve left her chair and looked out the window; “that’s his car.” She looked almost frightened; “Homolka is in the building? What did you do Joan?”

Sam returned, saving Joan from explaining.

Sam looked and felt worried; “Um… Headmaster wants you and… Someone else.”

Everyone looked at each other in panic. Except Joan who looked at her fellow teammates, waiting for a volunteer.

“I don’t want to cause more trouble, but I think I know why he’s here.” Blair turned to his Ferox prefects; “Did none of you read the Ferox papers?”

“I don’t think he reads our papers.” Susan said; “And Joan isn’t in charge of the papers.”

“It’s a long story.” Joan responded.

“What did you do?” Gail was worried.

“I’m going to need to go.” Joan tuned to her team makes; “With someone?”

“I’ll go” Ebony volunteered.

“Get her out alive.” Jim ordered in all seriousness.

Gail turned to Blair once the girls were gone; “What the hell has she done Stillman?”

“Well?”

Ebony questioned her Deputy as they marched slowly to the Headmaster’s Office.

“I forgot about it, but I wrote my thoughts about the ban just before Winter Run and asked the press team to publish it.”

“Joan you didn’t….”

“I just hope this Homo…. Guy saw the paper and not my original. That would get me off the team.”

“You really have a talent of getting into trouble.”

“Trouble finds me.” Joan tried to joke; “You can talk yourself.”

“I’m not stupid enough to -”

“Leave her alone.” Sam piped up.

“Still have first years talking you up?” Ebony then growled at Sam; “Go back to class before I throw a detention at you!”

Sam bolted.

Joan wasn’t impressed; “I know you’re nervous, but don’t yell at the younger ones.”

Ebony decided now wasn’t the time to argue.

As they got nearer the office, they saw him.

Roald Homolka. Reading his own “Gazette”. Sitting right outside the office.

“He’s bigger than what I expected.” Joan said as they watched him at a safe distance.

“What do you mean?” Ebony asked.

“Fatter. I mean his niece does wrestling and works in the gym.”

“ _Did_ do wrestling and gym. Mrs Oliver’s banned her from the gym and Celia kicked her out the Fighter’s Guild.”

“How does she stay fit?”

“I don’t know. Especially with those cigarettes……”

“Oh….” Joan stopped herself from lying; “I knew she did that but uh, shouldn’t her parents be concerned?”

“Glady’s parents aren’t involved in her life right now. Fatso over there is her guardian.”

Joan knew all this already, but having it all confirmed, she almost felt sorry for her enemy.

Almost.

Dr Brookes opened his own door and seeing the two girls, beckoned them silently in. They managed to sneak past Homolka

“I want an apology to Mr Homolka -”

“No.”

Ebony felt fear; “Joan-”

“I’m sorry but I felt I had to stick up for myself.”

“You have us.” Said Dr Brookes.

“Yes, and you still couldn’t get me out, could you? It’s not right you’re taking the brunt of this when I’m the one everyone’s mad at.”

Brookes looked sorry; “I don’t want it to come to him demanding a caning.”

“I can take it.”

“I believe that. But I’d rather spare you more pain.”

“Honestly – apologising to someone who doesn’t respect me sounds worse than the cane.”

“At least you won’t get hurt.” Said Ebony.

“Homolka’s actions have done more harm than even his niece. I’m not apologising.”

Ebony shared a look with her Headmaster. Joan was stubborn at the worst of times.

“I wish my school was safe.” He finally said; “I would love to just throw everyone who bothered you out but there’s no way I can do that-

“ _This_ is Joan Miller?” Homolka glanced her up and down; “You’re the one given my niece trouble? You know she comes home and says you make her time her miserable? Apparently, you are vain and prone to feeling sorry for yourself. She dreads to see you every day -”

“The feelings mutual sir.” Joan shut him up.

Dr Brookes jumped in quickly; “Miss Miller, do you know this man?”

“One of the first years told me he’d seen him.”

“Did you know who he was prior to that?”

“I’d heard of him.” Joan also glanced at her new enemy up and down; “Not much good things I’m afraid.”

“ _Joan_.” Ebony warned her to watch what she was saying.

“Miss Miller is just being honest Vicker’s.” Brookes was enjoying the show. Homolka was clearly perplexed and that was always a joy to watch. “Do you know why you’re here to meet him?”

“No. But he’s from the committee so I’m hoping it’s an apology.”

“Excuse me?” Homolka growled; “You insulted me with your student paper! _I’m_ here for an apology!”

Joan ignored him; “He’s also been reporting on me for the last four years.”

“That’s right.” Brookes confirmed.

“He has insulted me with what I’ve been able to read.”

“Isn’t my paper banned?” Homolka yelled, pointing at Joan.

“You know I confiscate your papers and could see your front-page last month?” Joan responded politely and calmly; “It was very hurtful.”

“Your statement was insulting!”

“And?” Joan shrugged; “I didn’t bring up your family or insult you personally. I just said I think you need to stop and find something else to moan about – preferably not “someone” – something.”

There was a pause.

Homolka turned to Dr Brookes, pointing at Joan; “I want this one caned. Right now!”

“You’re asking me to cane a disabled girl?” Brookes played up his “shock”; “Good grief Roald, you’re asking a lot.”

“You’re just playing favourites!”

“And you’re being petty.” Brookes became serious; “I didn’t even know you bothered to read the student papers. Did someone warn you?”

“My niece of course! She sticks up for me against your campaign.” He turned to Joan; “You are just an excuse he was looking for to ban my papers.”

“That was my Mum’s fault.” Joan didn’t appreciate that.

“And whose fault was it that our Island suffered an invasion?”

“That’s enough!” Brookes suddenly yelled; “Save your temper tantrum for the committee. And may I ask since your passing the blame – whose fault is it that your niece is running wild, smoking, shouting racism, punching and harassing other students? Aren’t you looking after her?”

Homolka’s face went a little red; “No need to get personal.”

“Did I hear that right? Didn’t you get personal with this girl?”

“When it’s reported by the police, it no longer becomes personal Dr Brookes. She has to grow a backbone and admit she was wrong to do what she did – and perhaps stop having some pride in what happened.”

Joan looked like an angry, threatened cat ready to pounce. Ebony swore she could see her friends ears even tilt back.

“Perhaps we could come to an agreement here. Roald – you won’t put up any more stories involving this student and Miller – you won’t do this again.”

“Do I have permission if he keeps doing it?” Joan asked, barley hiding her anger.

“Yes, you do.” Brookes nodded. “Have a good day Roald.”

Homolka glared at Joan but her own seemed to wither his and he turned quickly to the door.

“And Roald.” Brookes stopped him; “Gladys’s new boyfriend was caught about to spray paint one of the walls in the Memorial. He has been suspended for the day. You might want to have a talk to Gladys about that.”

Vandalizing the Memorial at the school – any memorial even - was worse than murder for the locals.

“Thank you” Homolka muttered, grateful for the news but still walking out with his tail between his legs.

“Miss Vicker’s, could you leave Miller and I alone?”

“Yes sir.” Ebony gave a curtsy and left.

“Before I say anything, please take a moment to calm down. Well done for keeping your composure.”

“Are there any plans for you to speak to Miss Vicker’s mother?”

“Yes sir.”

“When will that be?”

“I don’t know. I’m not really…. I haven’t reached out about it, I’ve been focusing on classes.”

“Have you been eating well?”

“I don’t eat in the dining hall anymore. Too many people.”

“Tom’s going to kill me for this.”

“Why should he?” Chris asked; “I’d have been proud.”

“He uh – was bullied by that man. And he doesn’t want me to get involved with the committee.”

“You already were once the police came, I’m afraid. But you’ve shown more class than they – though Mr Read gave me what was apparently your original draft-”

“Read?”

“He reported the paper first. Was very concerned for you apparently. He went to the press team responsible, found this;” he put her draft on the table; “and got them all to admit it was from you.”

“Yeah I….” Joan sighed; “They let me in when I had a run in, and I found their collection of confiscated papers….”

“So that’s how you read the front page?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“And you got angry and asked them to put your statement out?”

“A cleaner version.”

“If this had been the one printed, you and the press team would have been caned and suspended for at least a week. Don’t leave these things around.”

“I’d have thought they’d have binned that to be honest-”

“You can argue that with them, not me. I took the liberty to scan it and send it to Mr Zimmerman. I’ll leave him to deal with you.”

_Shit._

“I think I’d rather have been caned by you sir.”

She was serious.

“Careful what you wish for Miller. You’ve been very close to it on several occasions. It strikes me that a young girl with your previous good behaviour could find herself in so much trouble.”

“What previous good behaviour?”

“Was I mistaken?”

“I think so.”

“And will I have more trouble from you?”

“Most of it isn’t my fault sir.”

She got him there; “Fair enough.”

She had to shake her head at it all; “My Dad called me a Jinx. He said I seem to bring a lot of bad luck or just – weird happens.”

“You’re on an Island run by a micronation in a school with old fashioned values – honestly Miss Miller, you’re in a strange place.”

“Isn’t it supposed to value openness and the independent mind?”

He gave her his full attention; “You’ve been studying the history? That’s a line by Joseph Obair himself. And yes, this Island was supposed to hold a community that valued each other. Obair was not against outsiders, he was no cultist. I fear sometimes that members of the community forget that we’re not closing ourselves from the world. Obair wanted to show an example of peace between people – different races, different partners, different religions – he was a devote Christian who believed that God didn’t care for differences and wanted “his children” to embrace and make the world a better place. But to be frank, humanity never gets it right. You know about Selby’s reign. Our community did a lot of self-reflection and we’ve got better. When I was a boy, this place was a very loving community. When I returned and became Headmaster, there was still this peace, but I could now see some ugliness. And I realised how bizarre this place is.”

“It’s nice. I like the views out my window.”

“I’m glad you do. Don’t you want to leave after everything they’ve done?”

“No not really. The committee doesn’t like me, the community seems a bit indifferent. But I’ve always been indifferent and I’m always in here – and even if I slip up occasionally, I have friends here. I’ve got nothing left back home.”

“You wouldn’t go back to your father?”

“No.”

Quick response.

“Are you going to tell Tom and I what is bothering you from now on?”

“I can’t promise, I’m sorry.”

“Because you don’t trust us? Him?”

“I don’t want to worry you both. Especially him.”

“I’m afraid that as a guardian, he has too.”

“I’m sick of people worrying about me.”

“Perhaps if you were more willing to tell us what’s bothering you, we wouldn’t have too.”

Joan didn’t respond.

“You’ve been reading these…. All this time?”

“Yeah.”

Tom felt his legs go; “Jesus, Joan I can’t…. I couldn’t bare it just reading it, why would you do that to yourself?”

“I don’t like being kept in the dark.”

“And you didn’t bother to tell us because….?”

“Winter Run day kind of….”

“Go to my room and wait for me there. Or stay here and…. I won’t order fish and chips.”

To his surprise. Joan stayed where she was.

She was in no mood for either punishment, but she hadn’t exactly fancied a fish and chips – it wasn’t even Friday yet.

“To be frank Tom, we ought to proud of her.”

Both Tom and Joan gave Sarah a strange look.

Joan turned to Tom; “Does this Island have a bowling arena or something?”

Strange question.

“Only in the school.”

“You both really need to start dating elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere?”

“I mean – anywhere but here. All you both do is work and now when you get together, all you talk about is me. Or something about work. Maybe take her to the beach or something?”

“We don’t have a holiday until midterm and even then, exams are on their way.”

“So…. Summer?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“And don’t drag me along, you two need space.”


	7. Dean's Notes

_The Deputies are both pretty much prefects asked to take on the Head’s responsibilities if they cannot do so. Jim is a workaholic and takes the role of Head Boy very seriously to the point where he is reluctant to give me responsibilities._

_Part of me is ok with this since I have my Guild’s and my schoolwork but part of me feels that I am just a prefect with extra privileges._

_Since Ebony got her shit together, Joan is also in a similar situation._

_Unlike me however, she only has one Guild to keep her busy and so she mostly studies or talks about chess and history._

_Ebony suspects that our meetings are the only time Joan seems to relax._

_Outside the office, she can get jumped at any time by Hillman or members of the cult while Zimmerman has an iron grip of her._

_She enjoys being in our company, jokes a lot more and gives ideas enthusiastically. She behaves like a normal girl with us which makes me feel great._

_The real problem is, though a nice girl, Joan isn’t used to having friends._

_Or at least, friends that care about her well-being. She is genuinely astonished that we ask how she is or tell her to take care,_

_I try not to make a big deal of it but it does make me feel guilty when I remember how withdrawn I was last year when I could have been a real friend._

_With little else to do, I am working on the diary – a book traditionally given to the team to write about our time in the school._

_I am directly in charge of writing what goes on and by tradition, I talk about the early struggles of the group. Most of the old diaries don’t get to personal but with this group, I find myself going that way._

_As Deputy Head Boy, I can no longer get away with not doing some of the work I don't really need to do. I'm no academic and the teacher's know this - so it's been weird getting notes on my work and being tasked to do more than I've done._

_Joan's been helping me with my history lessons since she knows exactly how long my essays and homework need to be._

_And unlike me, she's pretty much relaxing on her studies since she's completed most of the exams offered by the school._

_Not bad for a fourth year._

_Does make me wonder if living with Zimmerman is a nightmare though._

_I've been trying to get Jim to ask Joan out but nothing seems to have progressed between them._

_For her part, I know Joan would never approach him but it's very clear she likes him._

_Ebony's been trying to talk to her about Jim but she typically goes mute or changes the subject._

_It's annoying me that Jim won't do anything. I know he likes her as well. He doesn't suffer from shyness so he should say or do something._

_History project is on the Alana;s - are you kidding me?_

_I wanted to do something on the pirate Richard Hood - or even the artist Ruth Munro. Instead I have to do a project that everyone knows about and will pick apart if I don't really study._

_Time for a boring Sprig break....._

_Spring break._

_I can't spell._


	8. A Burn

"Miller,can I have a word?"

Dr Brookes had visited the team's office. Only Dean and Joan were there. Dean was busy with his history project while Joan was playing chess by herself and eating crisps.

At first, all seemed normal. He asked how the meetings were going, how they were feeling.

But now the Head wanted to talk to Joan alone, both students felt fear.

"Sure." Joan hid her worry well while Dean was frozen.

Brookes didn't allow her to walk behind him - that was a good sign. He slowed his pace to match hers.

But he didn't speak.

That was not a good sign.

Before she knew it, Joan was in his office.

"I'm going to go straight to the point young lady."

Young lady?

Shit. 

She was in trouble.

"We've been having some problems with students smoking on school property or in uniform. Both are not allowed. What do you know of them?"

"They smoke in the bike shed." Joan responded; "Usually way past midnight. Mostly Mondays, Fridays and over the weekend."

“Well first of all, I’m pleased you happen to know all these things.”

Joan knew there was a “but” coming.

“But how did you know all this?”

Joan had imagined and lived this moment in her dreams for a long time and so didn’t feel the fear she perhaps should have; “I was a package.”

“Until…..?”

“Until I saw I wasn’t the only one anymore.” She decided not to lie anymore; “I mean, I still am.”

His eyebrows were raised; “Still? Why?”

“Honestly, it was the only way I could get close to Hillman and her group and learn things about them. They made their plans in the bike shed and I was right there and I’d hear them.”

“So you didn’t actually buy the cigarettes?”

“No. I found and then handed it over.”

“And how would you find them?”

“You look out for a dot within a triangle on the main notice board. The picture isn’t actually drawn on – someone just stabs at the paper. If it’s on the right – they’re in the dining hall close to the Aprender table. Left – the music room with the broken piano. Down. The gardens.”

“And who taught you this?”

Joan then explained how she was tricked and then felt trapped in the role. 

"Trapped?" He didn't understand.

"In a way sir, it helps to know what your enemies are planning to do when you already suffer from high anxiety."

"And?"

“I also smoke.”

Brookes froze; “Oh.” He looked up; “There is a written rule that anyone caught doing that must be punished.”

Joan didn’t look bothered; “I’m not a habit smoker sir.”

“So why bother?”

“Just to calm myself down quickly.”

“And this year? I know it’s been incredibly stressful for you.”

“Yeah I…. I’ve smoked a lot more this year.”

“Does Tom know about this?”

“He’s never asked. My Dad knows, he’s probably told him.”

“Tom would have said something to you by now.”

“Tom’s been….. Funny lately.”

“What do you mean?”

“Before….. He used to be much stricter but now he seems almost terrified at telling me off. I forgot to do homework he himself set and he just mumbled that it was ok to do it before fish and chips. I thought he’d use his ruler or worse, cancel the fish and chips. Sar – Miss Ramsey said he felt bad about the Christmas incident but Read and I have got over our problems -”

“Tom can be incredibly hard on himself when he thinks he’s failed at something Joan. It takes a long time for him to forget about it.”

“I kind of feel like I can get away with murder at this point and I’m not sure I like that feeling.”

“Would he shrug off the thought that you’ve been smoking behind his back for the past four years?”

To his surprise, Joan actually had to think about it; “actually….. Could you tell him what I’ve said?”

Dr Brookes folded his arms; “Gladly – for the sake of your health. I will also arrange for a proper meeting with just the two of us to discuss the workings of this Guild and any other you’re aware of. May I ask another question Joan?”

“Yes sir?”

“Why did you start smoking?”

“After Gran got sick, I had to move back in with my parents.”

Brookes knew that wasn’t just it; “And?”

“Dad was a very heavy smoker. He used a proper pipe but it smelt bad so he gave me a cigarette to try. I hated it, but my nerves around him left and my chest felt free of pain. Even now – I hate the taste but it’s almost like a very bad medicine for the physical pain my stress gives me.”

“What did your mother think?”

“She punished me quite severely when she found out what Dad had done.”

“How?”

She appeared puzzled; “Um….” She gave him an odd look; “Can I show you?”

“Yes…?” Brookes was now confused.

Joan picked up the lighter and cigarette pack that was still on the desk, easily lit one up, used it in front of the gobsmacked Headmaster, then pressed the burning part onto her skin.

“Honestly…. I think this is worse than what I’ve led to believe your cane feels.”

She noticed her Headmaster's face had turned ghost white.

She wondered if he too was in pain.


	9. Going around in circles

Chris had expected anger from Tom and Sarah the moment he told them what the young girl had done - both what she had confessed and what she had done in the office.

Sarah was her usual worry self. Tom....

He was silent.

Chris had called the school nurse in as soon as the shock of what he'd seen subsided a little. The student seemed surprised by his actions and appeared none the worse, but in his mind, if she was willing to self inflict in front of him, what else had she been doing?

"We've talked about Dr Vicker's coming in." Sarah told him; "We are aware she had issues but.... This is starting to feel like it's bigger than we imagined. The smoking, self abuse, the anxiety...... The girl has struggled and we just ignored it."

Tom stayed quiet.

She looked at him; "What will we do with her just now?"

"I'll talk to her."

"Tom." Chris spoke up; "Try and go easy on her ok?"

Joan had left the school nurse feeling strange.

The nurse asked one too many questions over a burn and the reaction of the Headmaster had confused her.

Surely the culture of this strange place meant that a burn mark wasn't a big deal?

She wasn't sure.

She heard the door behind her open and close. She had gone to Tom's quarters since she didn't want to go back to the office and didn't want to be alone. Adams was there and he gave her space.

Tom was silent which made the tension worse.

Adams spoke up; "Anything I can do sir?"

Tom gave him a glare but then shook his head; "No. Sorry."

He then sat next to her.

Joan saw his hands reach for her own injured one as he looked at the damage. She wondered what he was going to say.

Then he put it down.

"We're going out".


	10. A Drop of Truth

Joan closed her school song book as the pain in her stomach got too much.

She knew it was silly to read in a car, but it was better than to talk with Tom.

Tom had been very quiet when they got in the car anyway.

That was odd.

And she didn't have a clue where they were going.

She broke the silence; "Are you mad at me?"

"A little." He admitted; "Not as much as I perhaps should be."

"Why?"

He didn't answer.

The car stopped and he told her to get out, There was a brief wind that chilled them both though Tom barely noticed while Joan held herself tight.

She saw the school in the distance and guessed correctly that they were on some hill. It was too dark to get an idea where she was but she could see the lights of Knocklivet and the other two towns far away.

Tom checked his time - 7;30 pm. He turned his phone off and then spoke;

"The Headmaster told me what you said to him."

"I asked him too." Joan admitted.

"Why couldn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to feel bad."

He hid a smile; "Or worry? That's my job as your main carer. Your welfare is important to me. Perhaps we should both me more open with each other - eh?"

She didn't respond.

"So your father got you on this nicotine addiction?"

"I don't have an addiction." She answered quickly; "I just smoke when I'm stressed."

"Which is all the time."

"Can we get back in the car?"

"Why didn't you tell me about the cigarettes? About the shed - about what Tammie did?"

He sounded angry now which made her stammer; "I....."

She noticed that he didn't look angry. Just helpless.

"Honestly Tom.... I don't think you can do anything for me. Not about Mum and Dad or my own issues."

"Then we need to get you to speak to Dr-"

"You've said multiple times. Why haven't you?"

"Do you.... want to?"

"If it helps you stop worrying then yes. But I don't know what to say to her that no one already knows."

Tom could now feel the cold. The winter could be brutal but he enjoyed the view and did wish to leave.

"Is the Headmaster going to punish me for-"

"No. I think your stunt frightened him away. I told him and Sarah I'd deal with it." An idea came to his head; "Perhaps now."

Joan turned just as he left her side and opened the middle car door on the right and popped in, leaving it open. He sat and waited.

Part of her wanted to stay still but she knew the longer she stayed, the worst it would get. So she followed and stood at his side. He pulled her in, leaving her legs dangling out, barley touching the grass.

No one was around to hear any sounds - that of his hand or her soft whimpers and no one saw her legs kick or his sad but determined eyes.

If this was to be the last time he could do this, he might as well make it memorable.

When he was finally finished, he let out a sigh of exhaustion. He pulled himself out and told her to lie down on the seats. He closed and locked the car when she obeyed and he stood where he had stood before without her.

He felt like a monster.


	11. A Talk

For her part, Joan just felt her usual self.

She was used to disappointing everyone she met.

She had to admit though, Tom was being weird.

She got out of the car and joined him; "Can we go back? I have class with you in the morning."

"No. No you'll take a break tomorrow. You need it."

Now Joan felt something was off.

Tom looked around the area and then at her; "On this spot was actually a boarding house for people working in Mithridates but not locals. I lived here after my stay away studying while applying for my teaching job. I had no other house. My mother had since died and I didn’t want beg my friends for a room so I spent a few coins and stayed here for a year.”

“Why’d it close?”

“It was old and not very well looked after.”

“Isn’t there a law that says you have to look after the buildings?”

Joan had studied the Mirthradates law book after _that_ incident. It made her more open minded and gain some respect for the Island – but she still felt trapped in a crazy wonderland.

“Yes and unfortunately, we failed here. There’s talk of turning it into a hotel – but with the council we have, I don’t we’ll ever get visitors.” Tom’s footsteps seemed to echo as he paced; “When it was first built, it was an orphanage Obair built and he rescued children from around the world. This place was considered the best in the world. Then there was no need for these buildings so these -” he pointed out to the little white houses outside that seemed to be sinking into the ground – “were given to farmers who never used them. Then it was bought and became another boarding school – just ten or twenty years after the Selby years, children like yourself or kids that had been arrested were put in this place. It was run by a man named Walt Litoras. He ran the place like a prison despite most of the children being incredibly vulnerable. It didn’t last long obviously. Ironically, it was brought down almost single handedly by an autistic girl. Elsa Jackson.”

“Mr Valery’s wife.”

Valery was the school's Art teacher. Everyone knew he had a wife called Elsa but she was never seen. It was almost a joke to suggest she was very ugly or Mr Valery kept her in a locked closet.

“She was an outsider as well. Her father was in the army and he had no other family to take care of her. But she called the police from outside and nearly got herself arrested. The locals came together, and her charges were dropped, but Elsa has always been reluctant ever since to leave her home or meet with friends. She’s a lovely woman – loves those wizard books and likes jigsaws – but she’s almost mute when she leaves the home.”

Joan figured out what he was thinking; “I’m not Mrs Valery Tom. We may have the same thing but we’re very different people. Besides, if people have made comparisons, they’re the ones who called. I never heard it. I was as surprised as everyone else.”

“I believe you. But you do need help."

"Then why is it taking so long?"

He didn't answer.

Joan had another thought; “Do you feel betrayed that I’ve been smoking?”

“I never asked. Your father knows though?”

“Yeah.”

“Well he should have told me. That doesn’t excuse your behavior.”

“You would have disciplined me before.”

“And we wouldn’t have talked.”

“We always have -”

Tom stopped her; “Don’t defend me Joan. I know you don’t want to think the people who are supposed to care for you make mistakes. I betrayed you. I told myself you were just a little girl and you didn’t need to know but I should have said something sooner than later.”

“If I may say this and not let you think this is in your defense….” Joan wasn’t liking this conversation; “I don’t think I would have coped anyway.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

“I don’t want you hating yourself. It’s bad to do that.”

“I don’t hate myself, I’m just disappointed with my own conduct.” He sighed; "I shouldn't have used my hand back there, I'm sorry."

"Can we go?" Joan was cold.

"I will try to help you from now on," Tom walked with her to the car; "But I can't promise I'll not make mistakes."

Joan was in no mood anymore. She just nodded and got in the car.

Ebony got a message from Mr Zimmerman:

"If you wish to invite Joan out, she has my permission."

Last year, Ebony would have scoffed at that idea. But Joan had indeed become a friend and she felt rather sad that she was stuck in school all the time.

She sent a text to her parents.


	12. Tea at the Vicker's

“Fancy coming over at mine?” Ebony suddenly asked Joan one day.

“Huh?”

Even the boys looked up, sharing Joan’s shock.

"We're on a break and what are you going to be doing?"

"The Chess final is soon." Joan said.

"Just for one day?"

“I wouldn’t go,” Dean got over his shock quickly, “every time someone goes to her house, Ebony ends up over her Dad’s lap. It’s a curse you see.”

“Fu-nny” Ebony folded her arms, “Look, all your going to do is wait until school starts so why don’t I take you round town or – I don’t know, teach me to play chess in my room.”

The idea of going to a friend’s house was alien to Joan.

“I should maybe ask Mr Zimmerman….”

“I’ll ask him if you don’t want to.”

“What about Susan?” Jim asked.

“Susan’s going home too. Everyone who isn’t local, but Joan is going home. And she’ll do is sit and wait for the holidays to end.” Ebony got up, “I’ll go and ask Mr Zimmerman now.”

“Well” Dean said to Joan once Ebony was out of the room, “try to have fun.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Joan asked. She had never been asked to go to a friend’s house before and wasn’t sure if she wanted to go.

“Just be polite to her folks and eat everything they give you.”

Joan was surprised when Tom said she could go. Even if it just for a day.

“Not overnight.” He insisted, “and I want you back here by eight. And that’s me being generous.”

It certainly was.

So, the first Monday of the March holiday, Ebony took Joan to her house. It was quite a sweet looking house with a back garden and white picket fences. Ebony’s younger siblings were playing out in the street and Joan noticed that the street had only one parked car – a Packard Eight.

Gran loved old cars. She kept a collection of mini toy ones that Joan was under strict rules not to play with. She did however learn all their names and when they were popular and still remembered a lot of facts despite her disinterest.

“You have a car?” Joan asked Ebony.

“No. Dad has a horse at the station though.”

“I like horses.” Joan then had a thought; “station?”

Ebony answered Joan’s question by introducing her parents who were at the door to greet the newcomer. Ebony’s father had just got back from work and was still in his uniform.

Police uniform.

Joan remembered the ones that had come to the Island and caused all that fuss. She was also aware – from Ebony’s other friends - that this man was very strict but at the moment, his eyes were kind and Ebony gave both her parents a hug before taking Joan to the living room.

She also recognized Ebony’s mother. But said nothing.

Sian Vicker’s was the Island’s child Physiologist. Her husband, Aries, a police detective. And both were very interested in meeting Ebony’s new friend.

They had first heard about Joan like most of the locals, through the “police scandal” that Mr Vicker’s had to get involved in. The Mithridates police were on the outs as to what was going on and it became clear the Northumberland police force didn’t want their involvement which upset the Island. Without much to go on, the locals assumed that Joan had called the police on the school – perhaps for it’s use of corporal punishment – and were angry that their Island had been “invaded”. It didn’t help that the police in question were not pleasant to try to speak to or work with.

Aries and Sian had put their names on a petition demanding that Joan actions be investigated and for her to be severely punished but they had withdrawn their signatures after Tom and Dr Brookes publicly denounced the petition and announced the reasons behind the “invasion” and that the “child in question struggles with autism, does not own a phone and was unaware these men were coming and only learned so through the locals newspaper” which were now banned on school premises.

And then they found out this “Joan” was the same girl their own daughter had bullied only a few months before.

And now recently, that same girl had helped save the life of a young local from drowning. And despite Michael Bell’s instance, the Mithridates committee had yet to acknowledge the incident.

Or even apologize.

It was something that had shamed a lot of people. The Vicker’s included. A young girl should not have been villainised for something that wasn’t her fault.

Joan had been kept in the dark about a petition, but she knew about people’s thoughts on her thanks to the gossip and the newspapers she smuggled into school. Sometimes it was too funny to take seriously, over times, it made her anxious. Locals people made her anxious which was one reason why Joan wasn’t too fond of being at the Vicker’s.

Still, the parents seemed quiet and sensible. Very polite. The kids however, we’re a different matter - Lysander, Harrow and Helena were typical energetic primary school aged kids – Lysander, in his final year, had a lot of questions about Clarifloors despite his big sister telling him to get lost. Harrow helped by jumping on his back while Helena kicked at his knees.

Joan could see both parents watching carefully but since no one was in any real harm’s way, they seemed ok with the behavior – even if it would never be tolerated by any teacher at Clarifloors.

Joan was unaware of the parents watching her carefully too.

After Aries had changed and helped his wife in the kitchen, she voiced her thoughts; “She doesn’t seem comfortable, does she?”

“No” He agreed, “but can you blame her?”

“She’s shy, I can see that. But there’s something not quite right.”

Aries simply nodded; “you can observe her while we eat, just…. Don’t make it obvious.”

Dr Vicker’s noticed when the family had lunch at the table, the Miller girl was bewildered that a seat was offered, and she was sitting with them. Sian looked across at her husband as he ate, and he understood;

“You look as if sitting at the table with family is quite alien to you” Mr Vicker’s joked kindly.

Joan gave him a small smile, but it wasn’t convincing.

Joan wasn’t used to eating with this many people. Lunch at school was always eaten alone. Tom would often eat at his desk since being a teacher meant his work came first and his needs second. When she stayed with him in his private quarters, her needs came first but they still didn’t eat together. Even at breakfast, they had yet to eat at the same table.

And as for Mum and Dad, they ate together, and Joan would be sent to sit in the Livingroom. She would hear them talk about their day, argue, joke, kiss while she waited to check it was safe to bring in her empty plate when finished. Her parents didn’t like to be disturbed.

Yet here, the children ate together with their parents and no one seemed to mind.

Was this how a family was supposed to be?

Or was this just another crazy tradition from this crazy Island?

Joan’s thumb twitched as the thoughts went through her head. Everyone else ate well and happy. Joan didn’t finish and was no longer relaxed. 

“Do you want us to leave your food, so you can finish later?” Sian asked Joan after Ebony told her parents they were going to her room.

“I guess so.” Joan wondered if that was the right answer, but Sian made sure to be positive and say it was alright.

She and Aries had another talk about the girl in the kitchen.

“Does everyone eat at the table in Mithridates?” Joan asked Ebony once alone in her room.

“Families eat round the table everywhere.” Ebony thought that was a rather stupid question, “And if they don’t have a table, they’ll still sit together.”

Joan didn’t say anything to that.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t do that with your parents?”

Before Joan could answer, the girls heard a loud meow from outside the door.

“That’s Milo” Ebony got up and let the cat in, “he’s gentle.”

She then saw Joan was far from comfortable.

“Are you scared of cats?”

“They scratch.”

“Milo doesn’t. He likes the odd cuddle.”

Joan didn’t answer except to get up as the animal tried to get closer. Perhaps sensing the students’ unease, Milo took offence and snarled at her.

As if my magic, Mrs Vicker’s came in and shooed Milo away.

“Milo could sense you didn’t like him.” Ebony teased Joan.

“I’m sorry.” Joan felt awful.

“It’s fine Joan” said Ebony’s mother kindly, “cats can be rough at times.” She turned to her daughter; “I’ve made some sandwiches if you want to take Joan out and about. The weather should hold up, just don’t get into mischief.”

“You want me out of the house?”

“I have visitors that have invited themselves round. No point in you kids staying here. I’m sending the others out too.”

“That ok Joan?”

Joan just nodded. She didn’t want to be in the same house as that cat.

“What time does Mr Zimmerman want you back?” Dr Vicker’s asked.

“8 pm.”

“Well if you end up staying out late, you just head back to school. Ebony knows she’s expected home by six but she’s often late. It’s a good thing her father doesn’t use his hand for that.” Dr Vicker’s lightly strike Ebony’s head.

“Shut up.”

Joan had finally noticed the woman examining her as she and Ebony got their sandwiches and left the house. She decided not to ask questions. Things were going ok for now. Ebony had teased her, but it wasn’t out of malice. And people stared at her all the time. It was probably curiosity she decided.

Outside, Ebony grabbed both sandwiches and threw them in the bin. Joan didn’t say a word as Ebony smirked and got them both some ice cream.

“Mum makes good sandwiches but they’re not exciting, are they?”

“No not really,” Joan admitted, feeling a little bad. She didn’t like wasted food.

Ebony showed her around a little bit of town. By now, Joan knew where most of everything was but it was nice to have a local girl explain the history of each place. Joan liked history, even if she didn’t quite understand the place itself.

They went to the museum where artefacts from the Selby reign were kept – including Rewa Allana’s knife she used on the hated man with his blooded coat also on display. A memorial was there for the disabled who were murdered in secret in which they both left pennies. Ebony respected Joan’s silence as they walked round, knowing Joan was in her element. Ebony herself didn’t care for history but considering all she’d done to Joan in the past, this was a nice way of giving back some good.

“Hi Ebony!”

Ebony left Joan for a moment as an old friend waved her over. Joan saw it was another, if much smaller girl. There was a younger boy and girl with her as well. Their parents hushed their daughter until they saw it was Ebony and rather fondly asked how she was.

Ebony waved Joan over; “I’m just showing my friend here the museum.”

Joan noticed that they didn’t seem to care who she was. Or else they just didn’t recognise her. Maybe it was the fact she wasn’t wearing school uniform.

“Not from here?” the girl shook Joan’s hand, “I’m Chrissie. This is my brother Roy and sister Joanna.”

So, locals could name their children ordinary boring names.

“Our Dad runs one of the shops.”

“She’s a bit shy but she gets over it.” Ebony promised when Joan couldn’t respond.

Somehow, Chrissie ended up spending some time with them both and Joan found herself ignored as she followed Ebony and her old friend out of the museum and back out onto the street. She didn’t really mind. Their conversation was very… local and Joan was sure that even if she was neurotypical, she still wouldn’t understand what they were on about.

She spent her time looking at each house they passed. Some were made of wood with straw for a roof while others reminded her of pictures she’d seen of Edinburgh’s New town. This place was so weird yet beautiful -

“Joan!”

Joan’s daydreaming was interrupted as Ebony and Chrissie ran straight to her and then kept running.

“Come on!”

Confused, Joan found herself frozen.

Then her head hit the pavement and she covered herself as she felt a nasty kick strike her at her side.

“Stop!” She heard Ebony’s panicked and angry voice. “Anne! Stop!”

As Joan lay frozen, the girl who had ran into her and kicked her was grabbed by both Ebony and Chrissie.

Joan opened an eye and saw a group of young faces staring down at her. Hearing what was clearly a fight, she managed to lift her sore head to see Ebony and her friend kicking the shit out of the other girl.

“That’s Anne Kilguar” a young boy said rather matter of factly to her, “she likes to beat us up now and then. Not today though.” He then looked at her, “you don’t look so good.”

Before Joan could think of a reply, adults descended on the group and she found herself back at the Vicker’s to a much more tense environment.

Joan had cut open her forehead and while Ebony’s mother tended to her in the kitchen, they could hear the father scolding Ebony for fighting in the streets.

At one point, Ebony walked into the kitchen and in front of her mother and friend, went into the kitchen drawer and pulled out a wooden spoon.

“So, the curse is real?”

It was the only thing Joan could think of saying.

“Shut up Joan.” And Ebony went back into the living room.

Joan felt her chest crave in.

"Don't worry about the noise that you'll hear." Dr Vicker's said; "Ebony likes to make a fuss."

"What do you do?"

Dr Vicker's looked up.

Joan repeated; "What do you do?"

“I’m a child psychologist – that’s my main title anyway. But I sometimes get called by my husband’s work to monitor people they have arrested and are worried for. . I was partially involved in…. Your case. I was supposed to be, but you were in no state to talk.”

The memories came back; “I never was arrested.”

“No but you were a key person of interest.”

“Of what?”

“Of the case.”

Dr Vicker's then saw the girl's face was growing white.

“Sorry Miss Miller. I should not be bringing up something so sensitive.”

“My names Joan.”

“But you look like your doing well since that awful incident.” She changed the subject; "

“I’ve called Mr Zimmerman just to say what happened, and he said just come back when you can. Is that alright?”

Joan was distracted by Mr Vicker’s angry voice.

“Anne Kilguar is someone I’ve had several meetings with. She isn’t a bad girl but she’s troubled. Her father was abusive to his family, and her mother is now married, and she has two new sisters and a brother. It’s a lot to take in.”

“You don’t need to be a jerk just because your Dad was abusive.” Joan suddenly said.

She sounded unimpressed. Even insensitive. Dr Vicker’s was a little taken aback

“There’s a saying that you can’t judge a person unless you’ve gone through the same thing.”

Dr Vicker’s witnessed Joan turn to her with a rather nasty look. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to.

She’d obviously hit a nerve.

“Joan-”

Joan’s attention snapped back at an old familiar sound from the living room accompanied by Ebony’s annoyed yelps.

Mrs Vicker’s noticed she was trembling.

“Joan? Can you talk to me?”

Then Milo came in, demanding to be fed.

Joan closed her eyes, grabbed her ears and whimpered.

Ebony’s mother threw the cat and its food outside and then ran into the living room and ordered her husband to stop.

Ebony immediately knew what had happened so quickly got up from her father’s lap and raced into the kitchen, taking Joan’s shoulders and half-ordering, half-gently telling her to calm down.

“I’ve seen Miss Ramsey do it” Ebony explained to her parents, “but I’ve not seen Joan this bad.”

Joan’s whimpers indicted she was in pain.

“Call the school” her mother ordered her husband as she helped her daughter try to get Joan to stand.

Tom could not be reached as he was in a meeting, but Miss Ramsey went down within five minutes and took over. By then, Joan was a little calmer but still not talking or moving. Miss Ramsey placed a hand on her back and gave her a gentle shake which finally got a reaction.

“You alright?”

Milo moaned outside, causing Joan to cover her ears and walk towards a wall.

“She’s scared of the cat” Ebony explained.

That was news to Miss Ramsey.

“Joan. Look at me.”

Joan managed. Just.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened?”

Joan shook her head, “I’m sorry I-”

“No. Remember what I told you.” Miss Ramsey turned to Ebony’s parents; “Tom would want me to apologize on his behalf but I’m sure you understand that she can’t control herself when this stressed.”

“No it’s alright” Dr Vicker’s assured her, “we didn’t do a good job keeping her safe. She had a run in with a local bully.”

“Joan’s a bully magnet I’m afraid.”

Joan almost resented being called that over “child”.

Her head really hurt.

Really hurt.

“You can call me over the phone, but I best get this one back ho-school.” She heard Miss Ramsey say before suddenly finding herself in the car.

She wondered how she couldn’t have been aware of what was going on.

She was stupid.

“I’m starting to miss the quiet Joan who went out of her way not to try and get into so much trouble and drama.” Miss Ramsey said as the car went up the famous hill to the school.

“I didn’t mean too.” Joan felt bad.

“Dr Vicker’s and her husband were thankfully very understanding.”

“Why didn’t they punish me?”

“Why would they? You’re not their child.”

“It hasn’t stopped the rest of the community dealing with other students-”

“I think in your case, it’s because they know you’re easily led and maybe feel that the school ought to deal with you.”

And also, Miss Ramsey secretly thought, the locals had yet to discipline an “outsider” themselves. The town knew each other so well that neighbours were like a second family to some of the children and thus trusted each other. Some didn’t share that same concern or care with the “outsiders”. They preferred to call the school for every little thing they did. “Outsiders” were often left for the school to deal with.

“I’m going to be sixteen” Joan suddenly sighed. “I’m getting old.”

Miss Ramsey swallowed a chuckle; “thanks for reminding me. What do you plan to do?”

“Stay in bed and eat crisps. Tom might get me a fish supper.”

“And that makes you happy?”

“I hate birthdays. And Christmas.”

“I’m not a big fan of birthdays.”

“Because of your daughter?”

The car was thankfully parked at the school when Joan asked her teacher that as the engine cut off and the teacher froze.

“Miss?”

Sarah counted to ten. Joan forgot her own discomfort as she watched her teacher.

“How do you know about my daughter?”

“I don’t know much actually just…. Just from what I hear between you and Tom.”

“And you like to listen?” The teacher glared at her.

“I only know it was a car accident and the man who caused it is in the same prison as mum. You and Tom spoke of it once.”

Sarah remembered that conversation. Tom and she were in his private rooms….

And Joan was there.

Oh God….

She couldn’t be mad at the girl. It wasn’t her fault.

“Her birthday would have been a week before Christmas” she found herself talking. “I went to the place where it happened last term to talk to her. I had her ashes scattered at the scene. She was three.”

“I’m really sorry.”

Miss Ramsey looked up in alarm. Joan’s voice was shaky.

She was just sitting there holding her hands.

“It was a long time ago” Sarah shrugged though that was hard to do; “Tom helped me through it which was how we got so close.”

“So you are dating?”

“In a sense. Does that bother you?”

“I mean…. I know your just his girlfriend but if he marries, that means you become his main person to look after.”

Miss Ramsey opened the car door for her to get out; “what makes you say that?”

“Dad said – I once asked him why Mum needed to spend time with him, it was a – I was just asking because she didn’t seem ill. He said in marriage, the wife and husband’s first love is always the most important. He said I’d understand once I was older. I’m nearly sixteen but I still don’t understand that.”

“If I’m honest, neither am I.”

“Maybe I’m not explaining it right.”

“I’m sure you are.” Sarah decided to go for it, “did you feel unloved?”

“I guess I did sometimes but that’s normal.”

Very good answer. Miss Ramsey would have been impressed if she wasn’t concerned.

Before they had left, Dr Vicker’s had given the teacher a note to say she believed she may need her services. She had obviously observed something in the girl that worried her. She had even written for her to call her as soon as she could.

She decided that perhaps Dr Vicker’s service was indeed needed.

She would need to speak to Tom.

But first, talk him out of scolding his already sorry ward.

At home, Ebony was down.

“You’re going to invite her again?” Her mother asked.

“Not if it’s going to stress her like that.”

“Today was just not a good day for us all. Invite her back. We can’t do much about Milo but we don’t need to send her out to the streets.”

“And let’s be honest,” her father spoke, “we need to show her there is a nicer side to the community than what’s been shown to her. The committee might not have apologised, but we should make her feel more welcome.”

Ebony agreed to invite Joan back, but this time she also invited Susan, Dean and Jim round. And soon, the Vicker’s house found itself full of young people at the weekends.


	13. The Munro Room

Joan was starting to find some sense of peace.

Gladys and her group were targeting others, she now fully understood she had people that looked out for her and best of all, she had completed most of her work.

That, and Tom wasn't being so strict anymore. It was a lot more.... pleasant being with him.

And she had found out her competitor for the Chess Final - some second year in House Aprender.

She wasn't even stressed.

Still, even without much school work, her duty as deputy head kept her busy. She had found that "checking" the Memorial building was her favorite duty. Jim very kindly sorted out her timetable so she could go as much as possible.

This Sunday, she was on her own.

During her walks around the silent building, she had always seen an older man near the bodies of Disbar and Rewa Alana. he would remove his hat and bow his head in prayer and respect. Then he'd wander into the Munro room and stay there for ages. Joan had never talked to him, and Jim and Dean - the only ones who had joined her for this work - didn't know who he was. Just that he was pretty old and hung around the building every Sunday.

This time, Joan noticed a woman was with him. She didn't show her face. But Joan head some of her quite prayer that ended with an apology to the Alana's.

Then she noticed the old man wasn't praying. But staring right at her.

Uncomfortable, she snuck into the Munro room.

The Munro room was the room that Joan knew was the very first part of the building built. It was also where the famous Ruth Munro died. Her drawings that were scattered now in glass cases and the body too in a glass case.

Perhaps more than the Alana's, Joan felt more sad for the Munro girl. She had really suffered even when no longer a slave. 

And from all the records she had read on this person, very much like her, the Mithridates community had a hard time accepting her. And it was much less understanding for Munro because the reason was she was a native Scot.

And Joan could tell just by looking at the body that Ruth Munro had been very sick in her last moments.

She wondered if her own father was the same way....

She felt something brush against her and took fright. But there was nothing there.

Then her felt something on her cheek. 

It was wet.

Joan reached for it. Confused.

"You have been kissed."

She turned to see the old man.

He was very blunt; "This room here is very much alive. They don't usually trouble us but she likes to see her family."

"I'm sorry?" Joan was confused.

"Apologies." He nodded to her with respect; "My name is Alaric. I'm a retired deputy head teacher of Clarifloors. Actually during the Selby era."

Joan remembered her history books; "You hid Rewa."

"I did. Part of the resistance. Her and her brother were very brave kids. You know your history?"

"i uh.... Read books on this Island."

"So you know all about the, Well what those books don't tell you if who their ancestors were or what happened to their family after they died."

"No they don't." 

Alaric looked at the glass case which held Ruth Munro; "Miss Munro died young but she had two older brothers. David and John. David the schools very first groundskeeper - he built the stables - but John was a farmer and he had a lot of children. Those children and their children have been a part of this Island since the beginning. In fact the Alana's were the great great - you know - of the second born child Thomas."

Joan was in complete focus of his words. She loved history.

"Disbar and Rewa had two older brothers and one younger sister. After the incidents that caused their deaths, the parents fled the Island with the youngest. Lanaka. the boys stayed here to help built the memorial you see and became members of the new committee."

"Sebastian and Vitali."

"Yes." Alaric was clearly impressed; "They both died without children sadly. As for the parents, they escaped conviction for what they did to their children and ended up in Wales of all places. Their daughter Lanaka gave birth at sixteen and when the parents put the baby up for adoption against her wish, she ran away back here. She was able to be with her brothers but they never saw their parents or the child again."

Joan suddenly felt dread.

"Ruth is said to kiss the faces of those she feels a connection to." Alaric admired the picture of the slave girl's mother; "after I retired, I offered to help find her child. We discovered she was put in a home in England. Her name was changed from Laura - to Tammie." He was looking at her; "And she was married to a man who was a former student here. And they had a little girl."

Joan couldn't speak.

"I'm guessing Tom never told you all that?" He said, disappointed.

She could only shake her head.

"Well you have a blood line to be both proud and ashamed of. And as far I think, you're local. You may not be born here but through your blood, you are one of us."

"i....." Joan could feel herself shaking. 

A breeze filled the room though the one window was shut.

"Now, now, don't get upset." Alaric's voice was calm; "She never liked to see anyone this way. this is her room."

Joan was silently freaking out. Her brain was doing calculations and trying to figure out where the breeze was coming from. But there was no air conditioning, the door was closed.....

And she could feel something hold her as her hairs began to stand on end.

Alaric's voice was gentle; "It's the only way she knows how to comfort you. It's ok. She won't hurt you."

It wasn't a hold meant to hurt her and Joan did her best to try and calm herself; "I'm ok."

"Anyone ever told you that you can't lie very well?"

"Yes sir."

He chuckled; "Come. We've worn out our welcome I fear."

As they left the room, Joan noticed the old woman. And now she could see her face.

She certainly wasn't as old as Alaric but Joan could guess she was over fifty. Her face was..... Very stressed.

"I couldn't find you." The woman complained to Alaric; "Where were you Mr Nilreb?"

Obviously they were not married as Joan had assumed.

Then she saw the look the woman was given her.

"Just telling the Deputy Head Girl a little history of the Munro room and the girl herself." Alaric patted Joan's shoulder; "She already knows a lot."

The woman just grunted; "We will need to leave soon."

"But not right now."

Joan could sense the woman's irritation; "I uh.... Should have finished my rounds by now."

He was disappointed; "Give my regards to the Headmaster."

"Yes sir."

Joan did her best to hurry without running. Behind her, the woman told Alaric off for talking to her.

"I'm just disappointed your willing to abandon your family again Lanaka. And not for a good reason this time."

Joan had to stop.

"Getting myself involved with the child is only going to cause more tension."

"From the idiots. She's your Grandchild Lanaka. My grandson Phil was on drugs but I never abandoned him. What did she do to deserve this?"

They then both saw she had turned to watch.

Joan felt a sudden jolt of disgust and forgetting the rule, ran out.

She didn't even hear the old woman call her name.


	14. Pride

The Chess final was a lot harder than expected.

Not because her competitor was better than she expected - he wasn't. But after the events in the Memorial building, Joan was finding it hard to concentrate.

But thankfully, the competitiveness got her in the zone and she won the cup.

Usually no one celebrated that much because it was always a done deal with Joan as your Chess victor - but this year, Joan finally had some friends who cheered her on and there was even a small celebration in the Ferox Common room. 

To bad the Aprender kid did not take the loss well and walked straight up to Beau who was standing, arms crossed, leaning against the wall and spoke to him.

Joan saw it but stayed quiet.

Joan had remained silent about what had happened. But after a week, she waited until she was sure the stress of exams and prep was out of the way in the office before approaching Ebony;

"Do you know Alaric Nilreb?"

Ebony looked up; "Yeah. He's one of the over a hundreds. He was in The Doves. The resistance group. Why?"

"He was in the Memorial building that last Sunday with some woman. He was telling me some things about the Alana's but also about Ruth Munro."

Ebony was jealous; "Your so lucky. The man is a legend."

Dean ears pricked up; "The Alaric Carla-Rain-Nilreb?"

"I uh.... He told me his name was Alaric and this woman who was with him called him Mr Nilreb."

"Why was he talking to you?" Ebony asked.

Joan thought quickly; "He knew who I was. He was nice though. We didn't talk about.... that. He was interested in what I knew history wise."

"He was the history teacher as well as deputy head." Ebony explained; "You should have got his autograph."

"Didn't seem appropriate. He was there to pay respects."

"Who are The Doves?" Jim asked, confused at the whole conversation.

The other three glared at him.

"What? I don't take history." He defended himself.

"The Doves were the resistance group against the Selby regime." Dean jumped in before the girls; "You know - Disbar was one of its founders and Rewa was the one who killed that son of a bitch? Alaric was one of the founders too. He came up with the name and meeting places for both students and teachers. It was only about the Headmaster at first but then when they found out Selby was killing kids-"

"Slow down. Jim's not that smart." Ebony deadpanned.

"He's there every Sunday." Joan said, uncomfortable that Jim was being mocked.

"Is he?" Ebony was excited; "Jim, have me down for memorial duty next Sunday."

"You hate doing that." Jim said; "Why not just go and spy on him?"

"Fine. And Joan - if he talks to you again, you better dahm well get me an autograph."

"Um...." Joan remembered the chess final; "Jim, that kid who I won against - . he went straight up to Beau and I saw them talk."

Jim now looked alarmed; "I didn't see that. Isn't Beau banned from these tournaments?"

"No. Just Ron and his sister. Gladys and her girls aren't allowed in but Beau hasn't done enough to get a ban."

"He should get a ban just for being associated with them." 

"Who is the kid?" Dean was ready.

"Chase Hiltz." Jim knew him; "I'll bring him up and question him. Do you want to be in the room?"

"No." Joan admitted, "I can help record it if you want - maybe hide in that cupboard?"

"Why?" Ebony thought that was stupid; "Just leave."

"Jim doesn't want me being alone." Joan apologized; "He thinks it dangerous."

Ebony felt fear; "Yeah.... actually that's true." She turned to Dean; "You look after her. Me and Jim will find this guy."

"Second year?" Dean asked; "Annoying little bastards. Worse than the first years."

"They're easily manipulated. Fraser was."

"Fraser was an idiot. He admits it. Watching you get hurt made him change his mind. We don't you getting hurt just so Chase can learn his lesson." Dean gave her the recorder; "You know how to use it?"

Joan nodded. Hearing Ebony's ranting from outside, she quickly ducked into the cupboard. The door was left ope slightly and she pressed record.

"I didn't do anything!" Chase was understandably frightened; "I swear!"

"You were seem talking to a known troublemaker after your match with Miller." Ebony's tone made even Dean cringe; "What does that tell us? Are you joining with Wade?"

"No!"

"Then why were you talking to him?"

"Just tell the truth." Jim's tone was flat but he's crossed arms made him intimidating; "What did you say to him?"

"I..... I don't remember!"

"This was after you lost to Miller in the competition - you had been telling everyone you could beat her and your pride was hurt." Jim said; "So you either told Beau if his "friends" could go after her or you've joined the Hillman Gang."

"I didn't talk to him!"

They just stared at him.

Chase was sweating; "I asked if they could beat her up again. That's it."

"You little bastard." Ebony couldn't help it.

Joan bit her lip. Dr Brookes was not going to be happy when he heard that language.

"They haven't picked on her that much-"

"That much?!"

That was Jim.

Joan felt fear. Jim was mad.

Ebony and Dean were stunned into silence.

"Joan has gone through hell since her first year with those guys. She's been humiliated, her stuff stolen, jumped - everything you could think of. And you want to put her in more danger because your pride couldn't handle it?" Jim seethed. "We're going straight to the Headmaster's with this."

Joan heard him approach the cupboard. He thankfully opened it a little so Chase didn't see her and she handed the recording over.

Chase was white when he saw it; "I'm... I'm sorry....."

"Move."

Joan stayed in the office with Dean. The door locked. She felt very bad for Chase.

"Don't be." Dean was playing chess with her - losing badly as usual; "He's an idiot."

And Dr Brookes seemed to think so. After listening to the recording, he summoned Mr Read. Whilst Chase hadn't hurt anyone, it was still serious enough to be seen as a threat. Brookes gave the boy a choice of five weekend detentions or take whatever Mr Read would offer instead - knowing full well Mr Read would use his cane. Chase - who wanted to be on the football team - took the cane. Jim over much enjoyed watching this happen.

And as Joan had guessed; the Headmaster made Ebony stay behind. The next time anyone saw her, she had left the office rubbing her now sore backside.

"Six?" Dean guessed watching her as she struggled to sit down.

"I'll talk abut it later." She muttered.

Joan didn't feel any better. She now felt very unsafe.


	15. A Tough Meeting

Chase found Beau waiting for him right by his room.

Beau smiled; "You got caught didn't you?"

"I have nothing to say." Chase tried to get passed him.

Beau pushed him to the ground; "Pathetic. You try to talk to me or my friends - or even look at us, you're dead."

Chase froze in fear as Beau walked over him. Then he ran back into his room and locked the door. Crying.

"So your friends with a local celebrity Miller?"

Joan looked up: "Sorry sir?"

The team were in another meeting with Dr Brookes. Most of it had been relaxed though the worry about the Hillman gang was brought up.

"A fellow named Alaric Carla-Rain-Nilreb met up and told me you and him talked during your Sunday duty. He was very impressed with your knowledge of The Doves and the Alana's. He's also convinced you were kissed by a ghost."

"I tried to stay polite sir."

"Oh there was no complaints. Except you forgot about the no running rule on your way out." He then frowned; "He asked me to check up on you, said you were rather upset after-"

"Sir." Joan stopped him; "I'd rather not talk about it."

Ebony looked at Jim with wide eyes.

"Was something said that upset you Miller?" Brookes asked, looking very worried.

"I don't want to talk about it." Joan became firm.

"Very well." Brookes was displeased.

The meeting carried. At the end though, Joan was asked to stay behind.

"I'm going to have to tell Miss Ramsey about the running I'm afraid. I do appeal to you to at least go for anything that doesn't result in a sore bottom Miss Miller."

Joan was not amused; "I'd rather not know what Tom or Sarah talk about with you."

"Your not in a good mood but you will drop the attitude. Something happened to make you upset didn't it?"

Joan didn't know what to say.

"Mr Nilreb didn't provide many details except that he touched upon something personal." He was telling the truth; "He said he would only talk if you were comfortable. I can see your not, but the more you keep this to yourself, the more it will eat away at you. Do you understand?"

"Can you not tell Tom or Sarah about this?"

"I won't" Brookes promised; "Because I technically have no real clue what happened that Sunday. You may leave. I suggest you go to Miss Ramsey and have your punishment done. Congratulations on your win by the way."

Joan was in no real hurry to speak to Miss Ramsey. She knew the teacher was busy with work so she took some time to get some water, have a drink and then casually knock.

She had to clear her head from that meeting. She really didn't want to talk about it.

Why, she didn't know. It was nothing compared too....

She just managed to pull herself together when Miss Ramsey's voice called out for her to come in.

Miss Ramsey was her usual pleasant herself; "How has your day been?"

"Not as busy." Joan confessed. She'd already dine her exams a year or two ago for her fourth year. She didn't have to deal with the stress her fellow fourth years or even the fifth and sixth years had to deal with.

"And Tom, is he being strict yet?"

"No."

"Lets hope it keeps that way." Miss Ramsey read Dr Brookes message; "Running in the Mausoleum? During your Sunday Duty?"

"Yes."

The teacher sighed; "I mean it doesn't sound bad but you were in the Mausoleum. A little respect to the dead and the fact it was reported means someone inside saw it and that shows up the school in a bad light. Why did you do it?"

"I just forgot Miss."

It was the truth.

"And since you know better than that, I'm not going to bother asking you to choose anything - you're going to go into my room and wait in the corner."

Dahm. Another one?

And Sarah's were always worse than Tom's....

"Yes Miss." Joan just mumbled and left the office.

"You needn't look at me like that." Miss Ramsey had seen her face; "This was your own doing."

On her computer, she wrote back to Dr Brookes the words "C.P." ad then went back to some work.

Joan, for some reason, forgot what she had been asked to do and wondered the clean, tidy room with her arms folded. 

Brookes's words were in her head.

And so was Alaric and....

Lanaka? Laraka? 

The hell was that name?

"Didn't I tell you to be in the corner?"

It wasn't a harsh tone.

Joan didn't flinch; "Sorry. Stuff on my mind."

"Is it important to talk about it?"

"No Miss." Joan didn't think it was - even if it was bugging her.

The punishment was pretty quick. Miss Ramsey's hand was as firm as ever and Joan squirmed and wriggled away like no tomorrow but it wasn't as severe as she had had in the past. The worst part was the corner time which was usually only five minutes, was now fifteen and her skirt remained up and her white underwear clung at her knees.

"You ok Joan?" Gail, who was on her way to her room at the same time as Joan, noticed the somber face.

"Yeah. Had a run in with Miss Ramsey."

"You need to start accepting detentions." Gail told her. "Stay safe ok?"

In her room, Joan locked the door which now had a special padlock. Then she stretched, let out an annoyed growl and lay on the bed.

She wanted this year to end.

It was't even the end of March yet.


	16. The Brooch

With not much to do compared to the rest of the school, Joan found she had too much time to think.

Tom was no longer strict but he was also not talking to her as much.

Her visits to Ebony's house was nice but the mother always asked questions like she was in therapy. Sarah and Tom had talked about going to therapy.

Maybe there was a long time plan in action? Were they waiting for school to end first?

She had no class the very next day and despite still being in some discomfort from Miss Ramsey's hand, Joan decided to risk another punishment and left the school. She lied to the front desk saying Miss Ramsey had her permission and she walked out.

She had to get away from that place. It was suffocating her. She needed to clear her head.

She didn't really know where she was going. She was not in uniform so she didn't stand out as much. It felt good not to be stared at as she walked down the street.

She came to a house she hadn't been near before. It was white and odd for Knocklivet, it was clearly a modern house. There was even a car - no three in an actual driveway. And there was a ramo....

She then saw the words on the door.

It was an old persons home.

She should have guessed.

"Come to visit?"

It was Alaric Carla-Rain-Nilreb.

Joan shrugged; "Um.... No I wasn't planning to but...."

"You can come in." Alaric grinned; "My son Aren is in there and I've been avoiding him."

"Oh."

"Come in." Alaric invited her again and Joan knew she couldn't refuse.

It was awkward going in and seeing so many old people and their nurses stare at you but Alaric paid them no head and invited her into his room.

Aren - a man who was probably in his fifties or sixties - was surprised to see the young girl come in; "Whose this?"

"This is the girl Lanaka and I met at the Memorial."

Joan felt the man's glare; "Father-"

"I won't hear any of it Aren. Didn't you say you had work?"

The man seemed to swallow some wasps but then he just left.

"Forgive my son, he dislikes people with threaten to bring more scrutiny. Idiot. I don't know how I brought him up to be so clueless."

Joan didn't respond to that.

"I didn't tell you when we first met - your very much like Rewa. Skittish but also able to appear calm under stress."

"Oh." Joan could only say.

"I didn't want her to be in The Doves. Neither did Disbar. We wanted her to hide but she couldn't do it. Said being young was no excuse, she was going to help. That's what made her a hero."

Joan's fascination got the better of her; “Rewa’s parents. They gave permission to the Headmaster at that time to have her murdered. Why?”

“They were friends with Selby and allowed themselves to be manipulated. Just like the rest of the council.”

“But you saved her.”

“We were lucky. Wayton - Headmaster at the time - wasn’t the most careful of murderers and he’d already arranged to have three vulnerable children killed. He said it had nothing to do with him, but we all knew. We – the teachers and the Doves – watched her like hawks and as soon as he tried to strike, I hid her in my office from then on.”

“And he never found out what you were doing?”

“Wayton was a dumb bastard. A sick, murdering and dumb bastard.”

"Oh."

“Miss Miller, may I ask you a question?”

“Sir?” Joan closed the door again.

“When I talked about people who threaten to bring more scrutiny to our Island, I noticed you didn’t react. Why?”

Joan knew she should be annoyed, but the man spoke with a level of respect she wasn’t used to; “I don’t take responsibility for my parents actions sir.”

“Why did you call the police in Northumberland then?”

“From what I understand happened sir – they called my phone that I no longer had because it was taken. Someone answered and they stupidly did not ask for permission to come and meet with me. I found out through the paper. No one believes me really. It’s not something I can easily vindicate -”

“And you – I’ve worked with young girls and I know when they are honest. You are telling the truth.” He sighed; “We look like uncaring….. people. To treat the vulnerable like their rats we need to destroy - still we needlessly discriminate them! What kind of monsters do we look like!”

“I don’t think it’s that sir. I think the committee…. Council… what do you call it? Uh…. They just don’t care for outsiders.”

“You’re too kind Miss Miller but your wrong. Riando is a good man but he forgets he is leader and is easily swayed by a group he wants to please despite their opposite views. I don’t know what made them decide to treat you like this, but I would think that if he doesn’t want Mithridates to be seen as an uncaring country – he’d have simply sent the police away and left you alone. And now you weren’t even allowed to be at your Grandmother’s funeral? I am a hundred and three years old and I want my Grandchildren and my great-grandchildren to be there when it’s my time. You’ve been mistreated for being an outsider, yes – but you’re as easy target.”

Joan didn't know what to say.

He grinned in sudden mischief; "Let's make them feel silly today."

Joan felt drawn to his smile.

Joan exited the room and did as Alaric ordered. She pulled out a brooch from her pocket and looked at it - enough time for someone to spot her. Then she left the building.

As Alaric told her, she was suddenly grabbed by two of the nurses and the police were called. Alaric told her to behave as clueless as possible. It wasn't hard to do.

And when they demanded why she had the brooch, she told them Alaric had given it to her.

P.C Vicker's appeared and was surprised to see Joan being held quite roughly by these nurses; "Gentlemen, there's no need to hold her tightly."

"That's right." Alaric had finally appeared; "Get your hands off that poor child. Do you hold your daughters that way?"

The nurse frowned; "She had the nerve to say you gave her that brooch."

"That is right. I asked her to give it to Disbar. Well now you’ve scared her. Look at her, she's shaking. Congratulations. An outsider, far from home, trying to do a kind thing for an old man and she gets jumped by grown men. Over a brooch!" 

"Can we talk in your room Alaric?" P.c Vicker's asked politely as the nurses now looked very sheepish.

In his room, Alaric cracked up; "Worked like a charm."

"Sir?" Ebony's father was confused.

"In all due respect officer. I wasn't lying. But I also wanted those nurses to look stupid. They were glaring at the girl as soon as she came in. I talked her through it, don't go blaming her."

"I won't but.... the child is vulnerable."

"Please don't call me that." Joan said.

He know frowned; "Why aren't you at school Joan?"

"Oh you know her?" Alaric was pleased.

"Yes. My daughter is Head Girl."

"Ah! Now Aries, with questions like that, are you trying to get the kid in trouble?"

One of the nurses came in; "Uh... Alaric just to apologize...."

Alaric was a masterful actor; "Officer. Miss Miller has a small task from me. And apparently my staff think she was stealing.”

Joan could see Ebony's father was holding back laughter.

I saw as she was leaving that she had your broach….”

“So you grab the kid from behind and you wonder why these outsiders are nervous around us.”

“Can I go?” Joan had had enough.

“You will do the task?”

“Yes sir?”

“Perhaps hide it in your hand – Terry here is usually a good judge of character and if he thought you were stealing; I don’t want you getting hurt.” He turned to the nurse; "This girl is the one who saved Constans - Michael's little boy."

"She also brought the police here all those years ago." The nurse grumbled.

"Should a child take responsibility for the parents actions?"

"No."

"You're an idiot." He looked at P.C Vicker's; "My nurses are idiots. I've lived this long no thanks to them."

Ebony's Dad was grinning; "Just leave the girl alone to do her business Terry. She's no harm to the public."

Terry still shot a nasty look at Joan before leaving.

Alaric's voice went quiet; "Nasty piece of work that one. Tried getting at me but I put him in his place. I fear for my other residents though. I've told the staff but they claim there's nothing they can do."

Joan was appalled; "Can I help again?"

"No Joan," P.C Vicker's was quick; "We don't need you getting involved. Alaric will be safe. How uh.... Do you two know each other?"

"I know her Grandmother." Alaric said it casually; "They need a bit of time though."

Ebony's father was stunned.

Joan was not amused but she didn't want to show it; "I'll.... go and put this uh.... on his grave."

"You come back and visit." Alaric said earnestly; "That would help me."

Joan nodded before leaving quickly.

"Seriously, don't use that poor kid like that again." Vicker's warned Alaric.

"I had to show them up somehow. She was up for it." Alaric said. "I won't do it again, I promise but she was up for it."

"I just worry for her health. My wife is preparing to have her in for therapy."

"For what?"

"I shouldn't say."

Alaric shrugged; "Well if it helps your wife, the kid found out she has a living Grandmother. The woman won't talk about it though."

"Who?"

"Mind your own business." Alaric drank some tea; "Don't you have somewhere to go?"

Lanaka suddenly entered the room; "Officer - whatever that girl did, is they anyway I can.... Where is she?"

"She's on her way back to school with my brooch." Alaric said; "Nurses were just being muscle. You saw it?"

"I saw it."

"And you didn't stop them?"

"I nearly did....." Lanaka sighed; "They're all talking about her and how she nearly ruined their.... I can't stand it anymore. That's my grandchild."

Alaric smiled.

“Joan?”

Blair Stillman met her at the bus stop. He was not in uniform and he obviously had no pass to be out – but Joan didn’t have a pass either so decided to be nice; “Free period?”

“Um, yeah.” He seemed relieved and grateful that she didn’t ask any questions; “I uh, saw something happening at the door and I saw a policeman and some nurses holding you.”

Shit.

Joan told him the whole story. Even showing him the brooch.

“Isn’t he like a legend?” Blair was a little envious.

“History wise, I suppose so.”

“Also isn’t Pc Vicker’s Ebony’s dad?”

Joan remembered the conversation; “Oh…. Yeah.”

“Are you going to tell Ebony you got grabbed by her Dad?”

“I don’t want to embarrass her.”

“Fair enough.”

“Can I ask you not to repeat what happened in there to anyone in the school?”

“Sure.”

Blair said that too quickly. And Joan knew it.

She also noticed he wasn’t on the bus when it was time to go back.

She told herself she was just being paranoid.

She looked out the window and saw a horse and carriage go past. One of the horses was obviously a bit young and inexperienced – either that or he just didn’t want to do this job he was forced to do.

Joan was feeling like that now. At times, she hated being a student at Clarifloors. It could be too restricting – too much. And the weekends or holidays gave her hardly a break – not with a Deputy Head as your guardian who oversaw your work…..

She left the brooch where Alaric had asked her to put it and managed to sneak back into the school just in time to see the netball court was full, so she quickly joined the audience. She had to be seen if people asked questions, even if netball bored her.

She didn’t hear about her adventure until that Friday – a few days after.


	17. Radio Interview

The Court meeting that day wasn’t compulsory and some of the members were busy preparing for prelims or doing Guild “business”. There was talk about the Chess competition and Joan was given a round of applause for her skill.

For the first time in weeks though, Joan had not touched her chess board. Not after all that….

She decided after this meeting to go to her room and practice. She’d only had two lessons that day which she felt like she’d slept through, being in no mood to be polite and follow the teacher’s as they went through a old exam paper for the rest of the student who – unlike herself – hadn’t already taken the Higher exam. Both classes had been a waste of her time. Today had been a waste. She might as well practice –

She heard Darci hushing the room. The fifth year Obair had the radio on and she turned up the volume….

The voice of the Mithridates radio broadcaster Cassara “Cazzer” Evens could now be heard by the room; “In the studio we have the sister of Disbar and Rewa Alana – Lanaka Alana-Maine with us here.”

"Wait - what?" the locals got excited and confused.

"THE Lanaka Alana?" Ebony was thrilled.

Jim just shrugged with the other outsiders while Dean listened carefully,

Joan felt cold.

Lanaka Alana-Maine never gave interviews apparently. This was something worth stopping everything to listen to.

“We also have council member and Mithridates Gazette publisher, editor and creator, Roald Homolka here as well.”

A collective groan.

Joan put her elbows on the table, her hand on her cheeks, her eyes averted,

"Miss Alana, you actually called the radio saying it was an emergency regarding something that happened at your home?"

Lanaka’s voice was very Grandmotherly; “A Clarifloors student went to his newspaper… shop or studio, whatever you call it – and he told Mr Homolka that one of the Ferox girls was reprimanded for stealing a brooch from Sir Alaric. She had not. He had asked this student to go to the Mausoleum to give this brooch to my brother. After the child left, Roald then called me and said he heard who it was and wanted some witness statements. Everyone had told him the wrong story. The girl is my Granddaughter and Homolka said the only way I could prevent that story from coming out was to do this. I’ve never even spoken to my Granddaughter.”

“Because of what happened four years ago?”

“No. No what happened wasn’t her fault at all.”

“Besides the calling -”

“Miss Evens. Mr Homolka does a fine job condemning the child every year for that mistake, don’t you start. Disbar contacted the outside world to try and save our sister – that is never talked about. If Rewa wasn’t so brave, she probably would have been taken and lived. All this one did was to confirm that she was related to two mad people. The police should have run through with our local police to make sure they had the right permission – not an autistic twelve-year-old who just found out her mother had almost killed her abuser.”

No one could doubt who “old lady Lanaka” was talking about now.

“I don’t mean to condemn Miss Miller -”

Lanka stopped him; “Homolka, I asked you not to reveal the child’s name.”

“It’s hardly secret.”

“You cause enough harm. Don’t you think the girl has been punished enough for someone else’s mistake? Do you not understand that when I read your paper and I see you making these jabs at “locals who should know their place” – we all know you’re talking about one girl. A vulnerable girl who can’t fight back.”

There was a silence.

“What we do know from the student who came to my office,” Homolka recovered well as he spoke to Cazzer; “is that for some reason, Alaric actually trusted the controversial Ferox student to bring the broach to the grave. PC Vicker’s is a good judge of character but apparently the broach is in fact at the grave. Whether the student planned to take it but got caught, it wasn’t made clear, but it begs the question why this extinguished, heroic man felt he could trust Miss Miller to -”

Dean mercifully shut the radio off.

“Hey!” Blair was the only one not pleased.

“Shut up.” Jim growled. Then he turned to Joan.

Joan's face was wet with streaming tears. Silent but her eyes betrayed what was going on inside.

She slowly buried her face in her hands.

Blair squirmed in his seat.

Gail figured it out; “Blair, did you go to the Homolka news store and tell them something about Miller?”

Blair knew he couldn’t lie; “I got money for it! It was about her – like they said on the radio, she’s the most talked about student. She doesn’t even look bad, that old woman is a hero to this community and she spoke well of her!”

Joan's face suddenly appeared; “You went to Homolka’s office and told them….?”

She didn't sound angry but it was clear she was very hurt.

“I said I wouldn’t repeat what happened here. You didn’t ask me not to -”

“He’s on his third strike.”

Joan’s whisper towards a very angry Jim made Blair panic; “Joan! He would have found out and made his own spin to make you look bad!”

“Let’s not forget the money.” Susan added, disgusted.

“Let’s have a vote.”

Blair stood up and faced Jim; “Look, I can donate it-”

“You keep this up, we’ll remove the badge without a vote, and you won’t be welcome here.”

Joan covered her ears and sank into her chair.

“It’s not as if what happened was private anyway! At least this was a positive story – she has a Grandmother; she’s related to martyrs-”

“Shut. Up.” Jim was holding back a lot; “You’re dismissed. Don’t come back here again and hand in your badge to Miss Ramsey by tomorrow.”

Blair looked like he was going to say some more but instead, he marched to the door. Then he looked back at Joan who was still;

“You just lost an ally.”

The door was slammed shut.

“Good riddance” Dean muttered.

Joan put her hands down and sighed.

Darci folded her arms; “Something you want to tell us Joan?”

Darci had always been good friends with Blair and while disgusted at his behaviour, was annoyed that he was in trouble.

“First, when you’re in this room and we have a meeting in session – my name is Miller.” Joan sounded tired but she managed to sit up straight to look at Darci; “And second – no.”

“It’s not as if it’s private anymore-”

“ _No.”_

Darci sat down.

“I know this is all serious but,” Titus spoke up; “Miller - Alaric Carla-Rain-Nilreb actually spoke to you? I’ve done community work in that home and he never talks to anyone!”

“He was nice.” Joan mumbled. She then got up and got her bag.

“I say let’s finish early” Dean then said: “Joan’s tired, I have rugby in like an hour, Ebony probably has detention-”

Ebony opened her barrel sharpener and threw the contents at him. Although funny to everyone involved, Ebony got a pink note from Jim.

“I’ll be seeing you this afternoon then.” Ebony said to Joan as the room emptied and they followed everyone out.

Joan suddenly stopped.

Jim, Ebony and Dean looked to see what she had spotted.

Blair was talking to Juno.

They saw the team watching, they glared and walked away.

“Shit.” Ebony had the pink slip, so she got to say what they were all thinking.

“We need an emergency meeting.” Jim went for the office.

“No, we don’t.” Joan responded.

“Joan”

“No. We don’t.” Joan glared back at where Blair and Juno had been; “He won’t last with them.”

“He hates you”. Dean backed up his Head Boy.

“A lot of people do. You guys haven’t worked that out yet?” Joan sighed; “We can talk first thing tomorrow.”

“I want to talk now.” Jim growled.

“Jim.” Ebony told him to back off; “Dean and I have practices. Joan’s right, let’s leave it till tomorrow.” She turned to Joan; “Just use the extra padlock I gave you.”

Jim followed Joan to her room and once inside, he held her in his arms. She didn't say anything but he knew she needed someone right now. Especially before the teachers came running.


	18. Anger

Ebony knocked on Zimmerman's door, pink slip in hand and he called her in.

She noticed straight away he was very white but said nothing.

Zimmerman saw her pink slip; “Again Miss Vicker’s?”

She blushed; “Yes sir.”

“So, what happened?”

“We had the radio on in the Court room today.”

Tom hid his feelings; “And?”

“We were just messing about to get rid of the tension sir. Jim only gave me the slip because I made a mess.”

He went quiet.

“I’ll try not to be harsh then.” He finally said. “Hands or behind?”

“Bottom sir.”

He sighed; “Of course, you have a sports event?”

“This weekend is the semi- final between Hapus and Ferox.”

“We’re going to win even if you have marked hands.”

“Better safe than sorry sir.”

Besides, Ebony thought, Susan would enjoy this surprise later.

“I’ll make a note to your parents to say that your behaviour was in direct response to the radio show to help Joan. Hopefully that will make things easier for you at home.”

“My father was involved with this situation sir."

“I’m aware.”

“For his behalf-”

“You don’t speak on his behalf Ebony."

"For Joan's sake-"

“You may leave.”

“And I know, she was out without permission but please don’t-”

“You may leave Vicker’s.”

Jim got a frantic message from Ebony as he was just about to leave Joan's room.

"Joan," he was worried; "Zimmerman knows what happened."

"I'm alright." She said. She was much calmer, "He;s not as strict as before."

"You said he talks about therapy-"

"I haven't said yes." Joan confessed; "Both Miss Ramsey and him say its up to me. They want me to go."

"But?"

"It's Ebony's Mum. I'd rather talk to a stranger. Or no one at all."

"She's very good."

"I know." Joan sighed; "Maybe after the school year."

Before Jim could say anything, the door knocked.

There was a very strict rule against boys being in a girls room. 

Jim quickly hid in the bathroom and Joan threw in her dressing gown for him to cover and closed the door.

It was Zimmerman.

"You've been up to some mischief haven't you?" He saw her face,

Joan tried to casually turn away; "I guess so."

"Out. Without permission."

"Yes sir."

Joan switched on a small CD Player that she barely used. "Les oiseaux dans la charmille" began to play.

Zimmerman felt rage; "I remember telling you to get rid of that CD."

"So do I."

"And you ignored me?"

"It was a stupid thing to ask of me."

"You broke a rule-"

Joan shot a glare at him; "Stupid punishment. If you've just come to lecture me, I'll see you in your office. People can hear through these walls."

"I don't care."

"That's your problem. You don't."

Zimmerman felt confusion; "Joan. I don't know what's going on with you but stop it."

"You knew."

Her eyes were now dangerous.

"You knew I had family here." She continued; "That would have been some comfort to know at Christmas. Maybe even before or after."

"You don't know that."

"I know. You don't." Joan shook her head; "Just get out of my room."

"Joan-"

"I'm not in the mood for this." Joan was firm; "I'll come down when I'm not feeling like this."

"If this becomes a repetitive occurrence, I will just ask Dr Vickers to come and speak to you."

"So therapy is being used as a threat?" Joan was now fed up; "You're confusing me. Do you really want me to get help or not?"

"I do."

"Well then God dahm it, call her and I'll speak to her!"

Jim felt fear as there was a silence. He wondered if he could escape alive. He wondered if Joan would escape alive.

Joan's eyes closed; "Why am I not allowed to be angry?"

"Joan...."

"I just want to be able to share how I feel without everyone telling me it's wrong or worrying! I can't! Everyone wants to hide me away and for what? I didn't do anything. Mum did it. Dad did it. I thought I had no one left when Gran died. Ad this woman wouldn't talk to me......"

Jim heard a smash.

"Joan." Tom's voice was gentle; "Just come to the office when you want to."

The door was closed.

Jim cautiously re entered and found his friend on the ground. Arms on her knees and staring at the damage she had caused.

She had broken her CD Player.

Jim came over: "I have one that I don't use if you want it."

Joan didn't look at him.

"I don't worry about you as much as I did. You can handle yourself. You've always handled yourself."

"sometimes I just want to disappear."

Jim froze.

Joan's voice was very quiet; "Just... leave everything. Everything is so stupid.... this school is stupid.... this while Island is stupid..... I keep thinking things would be better if I just disappeared."

"You're helping me deal with Sophie." Jim hid his fear; "I wouldn't know what to do without you."

Tears suddenly appeared; "I don't know what's happening to me." Joan grabbed her head; "I've handled worse than this. I can't do it anymore."

"Good." Jim's voice became firm; "You shouldn't need to. You've got to show them what they're doing and things will get better. I promise."

They both heard the door open.

Jim didn't remember much of what happened. Just Ron and Beau and they're shocked faces when they saw the Head Boy.

His conversation with Tarquin had then played in his head.

All that he remembered was a lot of shouting. Gail, the Matron breaking him away from then boys before he collapsed.

He woke up in the School nurses room where Mr Read was watching over him.

He didn't seem mad; "Do you remember why you're hear?"

"No sir." Jim admitted.

"I don't know what you were doing in Miller's room but you possibly saved her. Mr Wade had stolen a rod from the stables and had some tape..... You can use your imagination, Beau confessed. You took a good beating from them both."

"What about Joan?"

"Miss Ramsey took her into town to see Dr Vicker's."

Jim felt sick; "Did they hurt her?"

"No but she wouldn't leave the room or even move until we got you out of there. She sort of just.... froze."

Jim learnt later from Gail that Joan had fainted away before she was taken out of school. No one else knew what had happened.

"Surely this means Wade is expelled?" Ebony asked.

"He better." Jim said with gritted teeth. His face was bruised and he had suffered both a broken nose and a strained ankle; "He;s messed with her about as much if not worse than Gladys."

Young Sam - who was there to give both Jim and Joan a card - then piped up; "Gladys is going to kill her if that happens."

"He's right." Dean felt frightened.

The school remained still for well over two days before Joan suddenly appeared back in the office.

She only responded with a friendly nod to Jim and the others before going back to some drawings she had started.

Jim was just relived to see she hadn't been physically hurt.

And he knew Joan well enough now to know that for now, she was ok. And that was better than what he saw in that room.


	19. More Anger

Joan was ok.

But she was very, very disappointed in herself.

In a moment of weakness, she had upset Tom and worried Jim. And she couldn't even fight Ron and Beau when they fought back Jim's furious attacks.

Tom and Sarah had now banned her from her own room. It wasn't safe they said. So she was now living in Tom's rooms. Privacy was gone with either him or Adams there but she didn't mind. Whatever Gladys and her group had planned - especially now that Ron had been suspended except for exam week - they would not dare try to break in here.

Tom didn't speak to her about that day. He was very pleasant and kind, getting her fish and chips when she returned.

Dr Vicker's had been very nice. Joan hadn't said much during her first session, except to admit why Jim had attacked the boys and told her why she was afraid of them.

That was probably why Ron wasn't in school.

He couldn't be expelled as he was not a local so suspension had to do. Joan heard he was staying in a hostel with the local police checking he was always there after 8pm. It wasn't prison, but it must have felt like that. 

That night Gladys angrily kicked the bikes in the shed while her Gang watched on. They're "parcel" hadn't arrived yet but that wasn't what had upset her.

Ruby tried to copy her hero but Millie quickly grabbed her collar.

Gladys didn't say anything to her friends. Not even to Beau whose eyes were dark blue from Jim's fists. But they all knew what she was thinking.

Dr Brookes entered the office without knocking, causing Dean to almost fall out of his chair while the others stood up in respect.

"You alright Parks?" Brookes asked; "You should not have your feet on the desk."

"Sorry sir." Dean answered, blushing.

The Headmaster looked at Joan.

_Here we go again._

Joan silently sighed in annoyance.

"You can't seem to get out of trouble Miller, can you?"

"Sir." Jim was quick; "What happened between me and Wade wasn't Joan's fault."

"I'm not talking about that though I agree with you. You are very lucky Mr Read - with all the complaints you give about him - spoke up for you and convinced me not to make a report or discipline you."

"Mr Read hasn't given us much trouble actually."

Brookes glared at Joan; "Watch your tongue."

"No sir."

The other three went white.

"I'm sorry?" Brookes was unimpressed.

"Dr Vicker's told me not to be afraid to disagree or argue with someone that is deliberately intimidating me."

"If you feel intimidated, you really are an idiot."

"Well your making me feel that way." Joan's tone was firm; "And I don't appreciate being called an idiot."

Silence.

"My office. Now." Brookes turned to leave.

Joan sat down; "No."

He turned around; "Excuse me?"

"If it's about why I was outside - I needed a break from the school."

"Miller, you did not have permission to leave-"

Joan looked up: "I had no classes and I was invited out. and quite frankly it's none of your business why I left. I was not in uniform, I was not representing your school and if you want to ask abut the radio - nothing to do with me. Homolka won't leave me alone and neither will his niece."

"She's on thin ice Miller-"

"I'm not safe. So I might as well leave when I've nothing else on. If it's cause for disciplinary action fine - I'm still going to do it."

"As Deputy Head Girl, it's your obligation to follow the rules like everyone else." Brookes was now close; "Your behavior and conduct recently is bringing the team down so watch yourself. Another slip up and I will resort in the cane every time. Understand?"

Joan felt defeated; "I'm afraid that isn't going to scare me into doing what you want, nor can I promise I can. But I'll try."

Brookes shook his head; "You need to remember where you came from Miller."

"I have a good memory."

"Then lose the attitude."

Joan just looked confused.

"Are we done?" Jim didn't care for his manners.

Brookes glared at him.

Jim held his head high.

Ebony crossed her arms while Dean opened the door for the Headmaster to leave.

"I do have to leave for therapy." Joan suddenly said; "Isn't that allowed?"

Brookes shook his head again; "Unbelievable"

And he left.

"What's wrong with him?" Dean asked, "I get he's probably annoyed with what happened but..... That's not normal right?"

"He's lost his patience with me." Joan said casually; "Happens to everyone."

"I don't think Mum meant for you to speak to the Head in that way Joan." Ebony said; ""Maybe Gladys or something-"

"Nothing works with Gladys." Joan answered; "Believe me I've had four or five years or trying. I figured he'd realize how he was coming across."

"He is Headmaster."

"I don't stay in school to feel intimidated by teachers. No one does."

"Just.... Try not to do anything stupid."

"It doesn't work."

Ebony was getting frustrated; "i just want to help!"

"Leave it." Jim ordered his Head Girl; "We'll talk about it when feelings aren't so high."

"Why would I want to remember where I came from?" Joan openly asked herself; "Strange thing to say."

"He means you should remember you're a student." Dean explained.

"Why didn't he just say that?"

"Enough." Jim became firm; "We have Prep to do Joan."

He immediately felt bad when she gave him a disappointing look.

Then he felt surprise when she went over and touched his face.

"Are you still sore?"

"No." He answered. It was a small lie.

Then she leaned over and kissed his face.

"You're brave." She gave him a weak smile and went back to her desk.

Ebony and Dean stared at her with mouths hung.

Jim wasn't quite sure what to do; "Um.... prep."

"Prep" Dean sat down immediately. Or tried to. This time he fell on the floor for real.


	20. April 4th

There was a High school reunion happening on the 4th. Everyone knew about it.

The team were simply told to expect visitors - ex-students coming in to remember. They could talk if they want, but little else.

One of these students was a young blonde named Camilla who came in and was greeted by Jim.

Camilla was a nurse, studying and working hard back in England. She had been visiting her parents back in Finland before returning to her old school for the reunion.

It was strange for her to be back. She remembered how her mother was very suspicious of the Island and told her not to venture off the school, but quickly the friendly community charmed her and the family. Mithridates was like any country with it’s own traditions and values. It was friendly then. Not when she left.

Camilla had been one of the most popular prefects in Jim’s first two years at the school. She was an outsider who was captain of both the girls ruby and football teams. Jim remembered that she showed a lot of sympathy towards him after Mr Read caned him for his joke that he wrote. The Deputy Head Boy was an Aprender who asked her to help him take care of the then first year who was distraught.

It made Jim embarrassed that he had been such a wimp back then.

Still, it was nice to see Camilla again.

“It’s not changed at all” she commented on the room; “just switched desks. Which ones Joan’s?”

“Joan?” Jim was confused; “Do you know her?”

“I do. Is Joan coming here today?”

“She should be. How do you know her?”

“I was a friend.”

“Serious question,” Jim gave her some chewing gum; “how did you manage to make friends with Joan?”

“Trail and error.” Camilla awkwardly chuckled; “by accident mostly.”

“Same” Jim responded, “I kind of…. I don’t know, I warmed to her eventually and I find myself worrying about her now.”

“She has that effect on people.”

“How did you get to know her?”

It had been Camilla’s last year and her first and only year on the team as the Head Girl. Camilla had been a very popular athletic student and a respected prefect for three years and a court member for two years of that time.

That year was mad. But it didn’t start out as such.

The usual meet and greet with the first years was not a noteworthy event, but it was the first time she saw Joan. Joan did nothing to make herself stand out except for clearly being the least excited of the outsiders. She had already taken a tour and just seemed a little bored while the Head Girl spoke to the group. Camilla didn’t even think about her.

But then she soon established herself among the first years as the “oddball”. She was one of the youngest at only eleven and by the end of the year, the smallest. She was clearly a very intelligent girl for her age though shy and uncomfortable with talking. Her fellow first years didn’t speak to her and she had no one to call a friend but that didn’t seem to bother her. She had no enemy’s yet.

What was weird to Camilla, was Miss Ramsey’s talk to her and the Ferox prefects that Joan was the one they needed to watch out for. Apparently, she was quite bad at home and they needed to report on anything she did. Camilla still never understood that. Joan, as “different” as she was, was the most well behaved of first year the students. Two months into school, she was the only one not to have received any lines or made to choose between the three options. And the few times Camilla did speak to her, Joan was always very polite and respectful. Those that did bother to talk to her said she was very shy and oddly charming if a little strange.

By tradition, the first years in Ferox had to prepare a speech to properly introduce themselves.

“Yeah we do that in Aprender,” Jim said, “but it’s the first three weeks in.”

“Miss Ramsey thinks two months is the right amount for a first year to really got to know the school and it’s ways.”

“She’s probably right.”

Camilla then remembered that most of the Ferox students crowded into the common room to watch these presentations. As the Head Girl and representative of the House, she had to be there. It was usually quite boring, but it was good for the younger kids to do and made them feel like they had done something brave. It was also reminiscing for her and her friends.

Also, the Obair first years had to sing a verse from the school anthem. Thank God that wasn’t Ferox tradition.

Joan was the only one who had not prepared a speech, instead opting to improvise on the spot. For someone that was shy, that was commendable but risky.

“Why didn’t you prepare anything?” Miss Ramsey asked, in a tone suggesting she didn’t approve.

“Paper makes my hands sweaty.”

That got some laughs.

“Is that a serious answer Miss Miller?”

“Yeah…..?” Joan was confused; “can I do this?”

It was a shaky start which was always quite entertaining. Camilla heard the sniggers from her fellow students and felt very sorry for the first year.

But Joan got straight in, talking as if she was having a conversation rather than giving a speech.

And that wasn’t the only thing that stuck out.

She was from Northumberland. Her Dad was a former student. She said she wasn’t really homesick, but she missed her Gran.

It was short, did not reveal too much of her personal life but that wasn’t it.

She then also said she had autism. That her former school gave her extra teachers to work with, which she didn’t like, and was glad to be treated just like any other student here. She liked her space and the fact she had her own room. She also liked reading. And Chess. And she liked being in Ferox because red was her favorite colour and she didn’t have to wear a tie.

Camilla noticed her House Mistress’s disapproving face change as the young girl spoke. Obviously realizing that whoever told her this kid was a problem, was not a good judge of character. Joan was an odd one but she was not a bad kid, the teacher could see that now. She probably didn’t even know Joan was autistic.

Instead of waiting for the presentations to finish, Joan left the room after she finished. Camilla was sent to get her back but the first year made it difficult.

“Miss Ramsey wants you back in.”

The first year was her usual polite herself; “I'm sorry to ask, Is it compulsory to sit through that?”

“No-”

“Then I’ll see her in her office.”

For someone who was shy, Joan was self-assured if she felt in the right.

When Miss Ramsey demanded to know why she wasn’t in her company, Camilla told her what the girl had said. In front of everyone.

Usually Miss Ramsey would have gone to find the student and punish her straight away, but Camilla saw that the teacher clearly didn’t know what to do at that point.

“Fine” she just said, and the presentations carried on.

Joan received a message to see Miss Ramsey the next day but when she went, the teacher wasn’t there. Instead of waiting outside, Joan decided to go to her locker to put her books away before coming back.

Gladys Hillman and Ebony Vicker’s were picking on another first year – Blair Stillman - at the locker’s and realising this, Joan decided to be quick and report it to Miss Ramsey when she finally turned up.

Unfortunately for her, Gladys saw her.

“Miller.”

Joan felt herself freeze but thought against it.

“You know it’s rude to ignore me?”

Gladys and Ebony had been a thorn on the team’s side. The Deputy Head Girl was a Hapus student and she told Camilla that Gladys had already been caned for bullying but was still a problem. Even Mr Zimmerman, usually a patient man, was getting frustrated with the student.

“I heard her parents divorced and her mother moved off the Island” the Obair Head Boy had said, overhearing the conversation.

“No excuse for behaving like a brat.” The deputy had answered, sighing heavily. Mock exam week had took it’s toll.

“And Vicker’s…..?” Camilla asked.

“Vicker’s wants to be a friend. Hopefully they both get caught and Zimmerman can set her straight at least.”

Now Joan found herself getting both girls attention.

“Gladys was talking to you” Ebony had said. She was a very different girl back then.

“I don’t know either of you, sorry.” Joan answered truthfully.

“We know who you are.” Gladys responded; “You’re the retard of the Ferox House.”

Joan had been called that word in her old school back in Northumberland and those students had been suspended for two days. So she knew this was a very bad word.

She wasn’t quite sure how to respond to this.

“She lives with our House Master” Ebony then told her friend, “she’s allowed in his private quarters.”

“Is that true?” Gladys asked.

Joan was confused; “that’s not something I would find amusing myself but…. Yeah?”

Those watching were impressed with Joan’s demeanour. She didn’t appear intimidated despite her small size and her confusion was mistaken for snark.

Joan then found herself being grabbed by the ear and slammed against her own locker by Gladys. Her head began to ring so she closed her eyes, crouched down and held it tightly.

Camilla was on a free period and unaware of the drama, had decided to go to work out in the fitness room. She was now on her way back to the lockers, having completed an hour and was looking forward to spending the rest of the day in her room.

While she was on her way, Ebony kicked Joan’s knees while Gladys held her up. Joan only flinched once but didn’t yell or cry for help.

“Stubborn one.” Gladys let go. “I heard from the prefects that your parents think you’re horrible.”

Bringing up parents was the ultimate insult, but Joan didn’t respond.

“They also said your Gran’s sick. What of? You?”

Those who were witnessing later told Camilla that Joan gave her tormenter a death glare.

“Is that true? Huh?” Gladys went too close to the face; “Retard?”

Joan responded suddenly with a slap.

A shocked Ebony went to grab Joan from behind but the now irate first year swung back and struck the second year in the nose.

Camilla heard Ebony’s screams and rushed to the sound.

Gladys and Joan were now in a real fight. These days, Gladys always maintained she would have won, but Camilla swore to Jim that Joan had Gladys on the ground and was “beating the crap” out of her.

“Joan!”

Camilla was the one to rescue Gladys. The tall rugby loving sixth year struggled to even pull Joan away but once she did, the first year suddenly calmed down and picked up her books. She put one in her locker and closed the door while Ebony cried and held her bloody nose and Gladys struggled to get to her feet.

“Joan?” The Head Girl was both angry and curious.

“Sorry. Got carried away.”

“Is that a joke?”

“No.” Joan put the books in her bag; “I’m not very good at explaining things, but no one else helped.”

“You!” Camilla noticed a prefect in the crowd; “You were watching this, why didn’t you get someone? Help her out?”

“I uh….” The Hapus Prefect stuttered nervously; “I suppose I was just shocked.”

“Make sure these second years get to your matron – Miller, go and see Miss Ramsey.”

“I did but she wasn’t there.”

“Well wait outside.”

“Ok.” And Joan walked away as if she had just simply left a class and not a fight.

Camilla got some of the witnesses to talk to Mr Zimmerman who was unimpressed by the two second year’s behavior. She later heard both got the cane and Ebony wisely decided not to stay friends with the sociopath that was Gladys Hillman. Not after that incident.

For Gladys, it was only the beginning of her campaign against Joan Miller. After her six-stroke caning, she was sent home early only to receive a cold greeting from her father who told her to go to her room. She missed supper. She was left alone all day with her ugly thoughts.

She had been beaten for the first time.

By a fucking first year.

A _vulnerable_ first year who couldn’t swim or ran as fast as other girls.

Joan Miller would pay for this.

“That’s why Gladys hates Joan?” Jim was surprised; “I was kind of expecting something more exciting.”

“Gladys was known as a tough kid back then. She was in the “Fighter’s Guild” and she played hockey and junior rugby. Joan was the exact opposite. An easy target. That must have humiliated her.”

“She still goes after her.”

“Gladys is still here?”

“She’s related to Roald Homolka. He’s on the committee.”

“But if she’s a danger to students….” Camilla sighed; “the politics of this place, I never understood.”

Camilla then found Joan sitting outside Miss Ramsey’s office after a message told her she had to come.

“Have you seen her?” she asked the first year.

You would never know this girl had just been in a fight; “she marched past me and said to wait.”

“Why did that happen Miller?”

“It’s not nice to be called a retard and then have your Grandmother be mocked.”

“One of the students said she mocked your parents.”

“She?”

“Gladys Hillman. The main girl that was bullying you.”

“Stupid name.”

The door opened and both girls were summoned in.

Usually when a student was in deep trouble, Miss Ramsey was the scariest she could be.

But with Joan, Camilla noticed that the teacher seemed a little unsure. To Joan, she didn’t know Miss Ramsey well enough yet to notice anything.

“Camilla, could you explain to me what happened by the lockers?”

Camilla told Miss Ramsey what she had seen and her actions afterwards.

“I have a report the girls responsible will be dealt with. I make it a mission that any student bothering a member of Ferox will be severely dealt with and I trust Mr Zimmerman in his responsibilities.”

She now turned to Joan.

Camilla expected fear or tears. Her first time in trouble, she was shaking. But Joan just looked curious, arms behind her with a bright face.

“Are you aware that you broke Miss Vicker’s nose?”

“Who is she?” was Joan’s answer.

“You didn’t know these girls?”

“No Miss. They just came up to me. They were picking on Blair and then they saw me.”

“Why didn’t you tell Miss Robertson those girls were picking on you?”

“She wasn’t there.”

“Then why didn’t you ran and tell her anyway?”

“She can’t really go anything to stop it. You can.” Joan was clearly wondering why she was being asked such silly questions; “also, you don’t think straight when someone you don’t know suddenly wants to fight.”

“Mr Zimmerman says you certainly gave her and her accomplice one.”

Joan went quiet. She looked a little worried now, her hand in front and trying to steady her fidgeting fingers.

“Now listen, because you fought back, that needs to be addressed. You have never been in this situation so I’m going to explain it. When you’re in trouble and it’s so bad that I can’t give you lines, I am left with three options to discipline you. The first is to serve Saturday Detention. That’s the whole day. The second is “Odd Jobs” in which Matron will find a task for you to do with the staff such as helping her with laundry, cleaning toilets so forth – or you will receive corporal punishment.”

Usually a wave of fear would hit a first year. But Joan politely waited for the teacher to continue.

“By tradition of Clarifloors, the student is the one to pick the option and not the teacher. Do I need to repeat it to you?”

“No, it’s ok.”

“So, what is your choice?”

“The last one.”

Camilla did a double take.

Miss Ramsey was equally stunned but hid it well; “You do know what corporal punishment is Miller?”

Joan clearly thought that was another odd question; “Yes Miss.”

“What happens?”

“You have to hit me?”

“Correct. Why did you choose it?”

“I don’t want to waste a Saturday to be honest.”

“And you don’t want to be put to work because…...?”

“I’m lazy.”

Camilla flinched at that answer and looked at her feet.

Miss Ramsey however quickly saw the little girl meant no disrespect; “Have none of your friends told you what happens?”

“No Miss. I have no friends.”

Camilla looked up.

Miss Ramsey frowned; “People talk to you.”

“That’s not being friends Miss. People ask me things about prep or they’ll say “excuse me” or warn me if a teacher is in a bad mood - but I’ve yet to be invited to sit with someone yet. Or know anything about one or two people outside of the school environment.”

Joan said it matter of factly, but that didn’t stop the sensitive Head Girl’s heart break a little.

“You don’t need to go into detail” Miss Ramsey said.

“I couldn’t let you dismiss my statement that way Miss.”

Miss Ramsey paused with a concerned but curious look on the first year.

“Miss Robertson” she finally spoke; “I need you to witness.”

Camilla hated being “the witness”. Unless it was for brats who deserved it. She already felt very sorry that she had reported Joan. She did not want to see her suffer.

“Camilla will make sure you are safe during the procedure. If she feels you are in too much pain, she will let me know. But she will not stop the punishment simply because you are crying or yelling.”

Joan didn’t respond to that. Her head turned to Camilla briefly but quickly went back to show full attention to Miss Ramsey.

“I won’t lie to you Miller. I’ve never been in charge of a disabled student before and I’m a bit wary if you can take this punishment.”

“I will.”

“Are you sure?”

“You strike in even numbers and it’s over in five minutes.”

“And you know this because…..?”

“I heard someone moan about your arm. I think you slippered them and you gave them six. Someone asked him why six and they said it was because everyone uses even numbers. His friend told him that at least it was over in five minutes but I don’t think that helped much.”

“I will try and be quick. I think six will do for this incident. It’s a bit severe for the first time. And hopefully, this will mean you will experience it for the last.”

It was wishful thinking.

You never really forget the first time a teacher uses corporal punishment on you. Camilla remembered her knees buckle when forced to bend over the arm of the sofa. How she yelped and cried at each stroke of Miss Ramsey’s slipped. Well deserved, for failing to hand in work on time, but still an embarrassing memory.

Miss Ramsey looked rather nervous as Camilla watched the first year put herself in the infamous place, she had been in all those years ago. Joan looked so small and fragile that Camilla felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for being partly responsible for putting her there.

Since there was a witness, Joan’s skirt was kept down. That wasn’t going to save her from the pain.

“I don’t like thinking about Joan in that position.” Jim admitted in the present.

For her part, Joan barely thought about this moment. It was what happened afterwards that stayed with her. Her first slippering was just that to her. Something that happened.

It was very quick.

It was almost…. Boring.

But _Christ_ did Miss Ramsey have a strong arm.

Well it should have been boring, if not for Camilla.

Right after the fourth stroke, Miss Ramsey’s attention was diverted. Joan also looked up to see what was happening.

“Miss Robertson?” The teacher went to her side; “What’s wrong with you?”

Joan got up and seizing the opportunity, rubbed her backside.

It wasn’t as sore as she expected but it wasn’t very pleasant.

“Robertson?”

The Head Girl’s face was wet; “I’m sorry Miss I-”

The floor creeked where Joan stood, causing Miss Ramsey to turn.

“What are you doing?”

“Um….” Joan was confused; “nothing?”

“I didn’t tell you to stand up.”

“Camilla’s crying…..” Joan felt herself rock from side to side; “Is it my fault?”

Miss Ramsey stared at her for what seemed like a long time while Camilla tried to recover.

“Is it my fault?” Joan tried again. She didn’t like this.

Miss Ramsey turned back to the Head Girl; “Robertson, you’re scaring the girl, please control yourself.”

“No, that’s not fair.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Gran says you don’t tell anyone to hurry up and smile when they’re crying. She might be sad because her pet hamster died, you don’t know!” Joan realized her voice was loud so doubled down and mumbled; “Is it my fault?”

There was another pause. Joan didn’t feel brave enough to say anything else.

“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

Joan detected some warmth in the teacher’s tone but wasn’t sure; “Mr Gran says that. Said.”

“Said?”

“She has Alzheimer’s so she’s not really there anymore. And people die from it so I’m preparing myself for that.”

“You told me you don’t miss anyone though?”

“You asked if I missed my parents. I don’t. I miss Gran. But she’s not been herself for a long time so….”

Joan felt a pain in her head so grabbed at it.

“Miller?” Miss Ramsey sounded worried.

The young girl growled in pain; “I don’t like people making fun of her!”

The teacher looked at the Head Girl who was just as confused.

“Miller, did Hillman say something about your Grandmother that upset you?”

The girl nodded.

“And that’s why you hit her?”

“She pulled my hair straight afterwards. Usually they give me time to process what I’ve heard but they didn’t this time.”

“They? This time?” Miss Ramsey put the slipper down; “is there more than one person who’s treated you like this?”

“Ever since I got here Miss.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wasn’t sure if talking to you would….. You…… I don’t know how to put this polity Miss, but you’ve been trying to scare me and I’m not sure why. And I thought you’d approve of this behavior because you don’t like me.”

“That’s a rather bizarre thought to have Miss Miller.”

“Tom told you I was bad.”

Camilla remembered Miss Ramsey’s stunned face.

“It took me a while to realize she was talking about Mr Zimmerman. I think I was the last person in the school to learn he was her guardian.”

“Mr Zimmerman didn’t use that phrase Miller” Miss Ramsey was gentle; “He just repeated what was said to him.”

“My Dad lied to him.”

It was a quick and blunt response.

“I see.” Miss Ramsey could only answer.

“You think I’m a bad person because of him.” Joan looked distraught but her tone was polite; “Everyone’s been told I’m bad. Can you stop that now?”

“Miss Miller, I make my own decisions when I met my students. I have been teaching long enough to know that sometimes, even the parents don’t know the child. You, I know, are not a bad person. You need help sometimes to understand things, but you are not malicious or bad. And if it seems like I’ve been unfair to you, then I apologize.”

It was the first time Camilla ever heard a teacher apologize.

Joan didn’t look comforted; “Tom will think I’m really bad now….”

“He might not like you hurt another girl but he’ll understand you were defending yourself.”

“No he won’t.” Joan’s words were low.

“I will speak to him. I’ve been meaning to anyway. He wanted to know about your speech. Have you told him anything?”

“Just that I did it.”

“I’ll let him know you did an excellent job.” She turned to Camilla; “are you in any Guilds Joan might like?”

“Um….” Camilla was still wet eyed; “I don’t know Miss.”

“Perhaps you can take Joan to your office and have a word with her?”

“I still have two more to go Miss.” Joan said.

“I think four was enough. More than enough. And we’ll not do lines either – Miss Robertson will have a meeting with you regarding some Guild’s you could join.”

“Talking to me is always a punishment Miss” Camilla joked.

“Are you a sadist?”

Joan said that so innocently that Miss Ramsey had to laugh once the girls were out of the office.

Camilla then brought Joan to her office. Her fellow team members weren’t there. It was Joan’s first time there. Little did they both know that Joan would be using one of the four desks in the room.

“I share this room with the Head Boy and the deputies. They’re all at Guild’s at the moment. Sport stuff.”

“I don’t like sports.”

“I do rugby.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“It is. I’ve broken my wrist, both ankles and my best friend broke her arm twice.”

“My mum is a wrestler.”

“Do you-?”

“No.”

“I’d have thought you did – considering that fight you had.”

“Wrestling is fake fighting but it still hurts.” Joan let out a smile; “I did kind of try to hurt her.”

“Our deputy head girl is in Hapus and she said Hillman has been trouble to some of the first years. Was she picking on you?”

“Only today. Most of the other things have been from our House or random students - pushing me in the corridor.”

“She might come after you. You let me know when she does.”

“There’s nothing you can do to stop someone that stupid I’m afraid.”

Camilla sat at her desk; “Just don’t use your fists again. Should I uh…. Get you a cushion?”

“Why?”

“So you can sit down?”

Joan sat on the chair opposite her; “I’m fine.”

She was. Camilla was a little stunned but hid it well;

"Well.... the only other Guild I go to is the Chess Guild."

“I play chess on my own in my room.”

"Are you any good?"

"I'm very good." Joan wasn't cocky; "Don't have anyone to play with though."

And so Camilla became Joan's first victim in chess. 

“You’re…. Very good.” The older girl’s mouth was open at the end; “you are full of surprises aren’t you?”

"Joan and I became very good friends in the Guild" Camilla told Jim; "She was a very sweet kid but she was very honest. The Guild didn't know what to think of her but once they saw her play, they realized how good she was. And of course, I convinced the rest of Ferox to have her in the competition."

"She won again this year."

"Doesn't surprise me."

"What happened uh...." Jim found it hard to say; "Did you two talk after what happened to her parents?"

"I was the one who told her."

Jim's mouth was open.

"I mean - the Gazette told her. I was the one who took her away from everyone."

Camilla found herself getting teary eyed when she remembered Mr Zimmerman and Miss Ramsey try to control her little friend as grief overcame her. Miss Ramsey had her sent away so she didn't see Joan for a full week.

At the next Chess Guild meeting, everyone crowded around her and she became overwhelmed and cried.

“Is she ok?”

Everyone turned to see the little Champion.

Joan clearly hadn't slept much but other than that, she seemed ok.

“I’m fine.” Camilla tried to smile; “how’s seeing the trophy in the Ferox case?”

“I haven’t been to see it.” Joan was blunt; “been…. Caught up with stuff.” She bit her lip; “sorry that was blunt.”

“We understand” said Gail who was then only a second year.

“No. No you don’t. But that’s ok.” Joan sat at her table and prepared for a game.

“Do you want someone to play with you?” one of the boys asked.

Joan didn’t respond.

Camilla silently took the seat in front of her.

She then tried to get the girl talking; "Listen.... About what happened...."

"No." Joan was concentrated on her pieces.

“I want to help -”

“You can’t” Joan finally looked up; “I know you want to, but you can’t.”

“But-”

“And please don’t talk about what happened to anyone I – everyone already knows, they can use their imaginations about…..”

Joan went still.

“Joan?”

Joan blinked; “the police said I spoke to them on my phone. But I don’t have a phone. Miss Ramsey told them to back off and Dr Brookes then came in and said the council would handle it from there.”

“Back off?”

“They weren’t very friendly. Even Tom looked ready to step in.”

Camilla was still getting used to hearing “Tom” instead of “Mr Zimmerman”; "Wait. So the police arrived but.....? What?"

"Basically they didn't tell the Island they were coming. Now they're saying its my fault." Joan made a move; "But I don't have a phone. They didn't believe me."

"They're just stressed because of work." Camilla had said, not sure what else to say.

"Anyway....." the little girl sighed; "I need to get used to it all."

Camilla never forgot Joan and three times a year, would send an email to Mr Zimmerman for Joan to read. Joan detested using email but hated the phone so Camilla would receive shorter replied of “good,” “nice,” or “hope all is well”. But she knew Joan well enough to know her young friend missed her.

Tom on the other hand was more than happy to share how his ward was doing – especially Joan’s new role and how well she was doing. Just….

Tom admitted that while a younger Joan confused and bewildered him, even annoyed him at times, he missed how self-assured she was. The girl who was now deputy head girl was a shadow of her former self. She had given up trying to help everyone around her make sense. And without Camilla, she didn’t seem to be able to makes friends outside of the people the ex-Head Girl had introduced to her or the ones she made by mistake.

Camilla was done telling Jim all this when Ebony entered.

“Oh.” Ebony dropped some books she was coming; “Camilla! How uh – are you?”

“You’re Head Girl?” Camilla chuckled; “that’s more surprising that Joan actually.” Then she frowned; “you’re not still hanging around Gladys Hillman, are you?”

“No. No I stopped seeing her after…..”

“Good.”

“I’m friends with her.”

“Camilla was telling me how she became friends with Joan.” Jim said, getting the former Head’s Girl’s attention away from his own; “you were in the story.”

“Yes uh-”

Joan entered but didn’t look up as she went to her desk. She had had a long day and planned to just rest in the office.

“Hello Joan.”

Her tiredness was forgotten; “What are you doing here?”

Camilla knew Joan very well; “I told Tom to warn you I would be coming but he forgot.. I'm part of the reunion”

“Right. Great. Ok….” Joan tried to recover; “Sorry, wasn’t prepared.”

“Long day?”

The fourth year sank into her chair; “Double _fucking_ Geography….”

“Shit.” Jim felt very sorry for her.

“Miss Clifford talked about meanders and ox-bow lakes for the whole two hours. And everyone had so much questions – I’m sitting there thinking, it’s just a bloody river. When are we going to learn about countries? It's Geography. Not Erosional landforms.”

Camilla shook her head and held back a laugh.

“Why are you still doing that class?” Ebony asked, “didn’t you already do the final exam?”

“Policy that didn’t take my situation in consideration.” Joan replied; “I can only drop one subject as a fourth year during the year. That was music.”

“That wasn’t a decision because you -”

“Ebony.” Jim stopped her.

“No, I know what happened” said Camilla.

“Tom tell you?” Joan asked.

“He said it was a sore subject to ask about Mr Read.”

“Yeah but….” Joan looked annoyed; “Ok.” She finally sat down; “Why is there a reunion?”

“Just the Ferox class. One of the boys has leukaemia and it’s incurable unfortunately. He wanted to see us all one last time. Dr Brookes paid for all our travel.”

Jim hoped that Joan would stay quiet about his sister.

Thankfully she did; “how long will you be here?”

“Just two days. Then I’m heading back to England.”

Joan sighed; “I’ve yet to learn anything about England from this “very educational school”…..” She got up, her arms swinging a little and leaned against the window, looking out at the glaring sun.

Ebony noticed that Camilla was watching her old friend with an odd expression; “are you ok Camilla?”

Joan looked back.

“Yeah…. Just, reminiscing I suppose.”

Joan rubbed her eyes; “Do you still play chess?”

“Not as much as I’d like to I’m afraid.”

“The cup is still in our House.”

Camilla had to smile; “of course it is.”

Talking about chess seemed to have woken Joan up; “The Guild’s still small though. And the challengers get worse every time.”

“Hey I’m learning!” Jim crossed his arms, teasing her.

“You are terrible.”

“Not as bad as Ebony.”

“That we can agree on.”

“Hey!” Ebony raised her pencil threateningly; “Miss Miller, I could beat you in a race.”

“That’s not exactly hard.” Joan answered, sitting by the window now.

Ebony put the pencil down; “Sometimes I wish I still hated you.”

“Do you….?” Camilla wasn’t sure to ask.

“No I don’t talk to her.” Ebony answered; “I haven’t since….. you know.” She couldn’t help but give a look to Joan. Her nose was still very sensitive from that day. Even if she admitted it was deserved.

Then she noticed Joan was asleep; “maybe you should come to my desk so we don’t shout.”

Camilla had been distracted so was surprised; “She gets tired often?”

“Yeah.” Ebony answered; “Sometimes she’ll have a minute nap and she’ll be wide awake.”

“Where’s her timetable?”

It was posted on the wall with the others.

“She does have less lessons than most fourth years, but I suppose it’s tiring for her.”

“She was worse when she had to go to Read’s classes.” Jim replied, "He's being nicer to her recently but I think it's to save face."

"Mr Read was alright back in my day. I wonder what happened?"

"I've never liked him." Ebony said.

Suddenly Camilla remembered; "Isn't it April 4th?"

The Head's stared at her.

"Isn't it Founder's Day?"

The room seemed to lose oxygen.


	21. Founder's Day

April 4th was Joseph Obair's birthday. A very important day to all Mithridates citizens.

The team, by tradition, should have been at the church service.

Joan woke to hear Dean arrive ad the panic from the others.

"Won't Homolka be there?" She suddenly asked.

"Yes." Ebony answered; "Everyone on the committee had to attend."

"We don't. If it's tradition. And honestly, I'm not comfortable if I were to be in the same room."

"That's true." Dean agreed; "It will be met with anger, but it would be understanding."

"But there will be so much anger directed at you." Camilla warned.

"There already is." Joan shrugged, "It would look better for our image if we show we are looking out for each other."

"Dad's going to kill me but I agree with Joan" said Ebony; "Let's just email Father Cameron now and use that excuse."

"I'll stay and speak for you all if the Head comes around" Camilla promised.

Joan felt defeated: "Sorry guys."

"Screw them." Jim sent the email; "Not worth the stress. For you or for us."

Brookes was tired when the four were summoned the next day; "So what was the excuse for yesterday?"

"The man has made stories about Joan and he did it again barely two weeks ago!" Jim argued; "Why would I put a member of the team under that risk?"

"The four of you not being there cost me a nights sleep of committee members demanding to know where the four of you were. Father Cameron was nice about it. A warning for me would have helped."

"I did send an email."

"And it was sent during the service boy." Brookes was firm; "Appalling management on your part."

"Yes sir." Jim had to admit that.

"Miss Robertson claimed she distracted you all by coming in whilst you were discussing it but none the less, you all know better."

He looked at Joan. But this time he merely shook his head in clear disappointment 

Joan looked away.

He noticed; "Do you have something to say Miller?"

She looked at him; "No sir."

She sounded and looked defeated.

"I am seriously losing my patience with you. Step up, stop being so emotional and perk up!"

He pretended not to notice the other three staring at him, appalled.

"Lord Cross said he would send me an email tomorrow morning. I know it's merely tradition but the Head of the committee has the power to have meetings and ask me on discipline whenever he feel insulted."

"We didn't want to be near Mr Homolka sir." Jim argued; "For what he did to Joan and what his niece is doing-"

"And I told them that. Save your words if you are brought before him. I can do little at this point. All I can say is you brought this on yourselves."

"It's ok for me to feel uncomfortable enough not to so something." Joan said quietly.

Brookes sighed; "Really Miller?"

"Dr Vicker's said not to be scared to say something. Most of my problems are happening because I don't speak up for myself."

He shook his head; "Why do you have to be so difficult? Do you ever ask yourself what your behavior is doing to everyone around you?"

"All the time?"

"And you don't do anything about it?"

"I'm going to therapy."

"There's little else she can do sir." Dean spoke up; "We just need to learn to stop feeling insulted and.... Maybe look for someone else to vent towards?"

Jim and Ebony were glad Dean was brave to say something.

Brookes visibly fumed but simply waved at the door. A silent order to leave.

They went back to their office. Silent. Stressed.

Joan was the first to speak; "I'm causing trouble but I don't mean to-"

"Shut up." Ebony was blunt; "It's not your fault. Just no one can leave you alone."

Joan didn't feel any better; "What did he mean by.....?"

"Basically Lord Cross can summon who he wants. In this case, he feels insulted we didn't go to his meeting in church."

"Isn't it Father Cameron's?"

"Joint effort."

"So it's just a telling off?" Dean asked hopefully.

"That's the best thing we can expect." Ebony looked at Joan; "Joan.... He's probably going to go after you the most."

"Again?" Joan's tone was flat; "Alright."

Jim showed anger; "Why? It was my decision!"

"He knows her." Ebony said; "Or at least, he knows her from Homolka's words."

"Shit...." Jim felt fear.

Something in Joan changed; "You know.... This could be a good opportunity for me."

The other three looked at her.

"Optimistic I suppose, but if he say anything completely wrong, I'm going to tell him."

"No." Jim shook his head; "No-"

"I don't have much to lose. I've done my exams here. I could stop going to classes after this term. The only reason I'm staying on is for something to do - while that man says I can't leave his own Island."

"What if he kicks you off the Island?" Dean asked.

"You heard the radio? If I do have family here, I don't think they can do that. Besides - throwing out an autistic sixteen year old won't look good to the rest of the world - that's pretty big for an Island trying to look good to the EU among others things."

"If we weren't friends, I'd be excited" Ebony said; "The three of us will stand by you or course just.... If something goes too far, I don't know if we can help."

"If you can't, you can't."

Jim didn't feel as brave; "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for all this. I should have prepared - looked at the timetable."

"You should. But it's fine" Joan responded; "I wouldn't have gone anyway."

The just stared at her.

"And if this leads to any of us being forced to resign, it's been a pleasure." Joan nodded sadly; "We should probably talk when feelings aren't so high.... Right?"

No one said anything.


	22. Prep Talk

"I was wondering where you were."

Alaric sat thoughtfully at his chair. Joan was visiting him and told him the teams predicament, 

She had been visiting at least twice a week. Her so called "grandmother" was still to leave her room despite Alaric leaving texts messages to say Joan was there.

"What should we do?"

"I'd say whatever Jim said. I don't think you'll be easily forgiven but it's the best one. My only concern..." He sat up straight, "Is that Cross just uses this to attack you. People's feelings have changed these past four years but that doesn't mean what he says or does won't put you in some danger."

"I'm already in danger at school sir" Joan had yet to call him Alaric despite his insistence; "there's a..... I guess she's a bully. And I kind of got her boyfriend suspended."

"That lad whose in the hostel where they keep the outsider students? Wade?"

"You know him?"

"I know of him. He's come up here to try and intimidate us old folks. I don't know what they're like outside of our Island but here, we don't take that type of shit."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. P.C Vicker's got him. How long has he been suspended for?"

"Until the last two weeks of school. He can come in for exams so long as he doesn't talk to any pf us."

"Brookes is too mild sometimes. If he's a threat to you and to the community, it was probably best to expel him." Alaric's voice went gruff; "What about his girlfriend? Who is she?"

"Gladys Hillman."

He looked really worried; "Homolka's niece?"

"Yeah."

"Ah. So Brookes can't just suspend her without a fight from that piece of shit."

Joan didn't know what to say to that.

"I don't know what to say that can help you Joan. Lanaka did a good job on the radio defending you but i told her it was no use if she didn't eve want to see you."

"I understand."

"I'm glad because I don't. Tell me then. What's up with your Grandmother?"

"I think I'm a walking reminder of my mother. I don't think she wanted to leave her behind but she had to. And it's been so long..... Did she even know I was here until the police from the outside came?"

"No."

"The it was all a shock to her too then."

"You're a very sensitive kid Joan. Just don't let anyone take advantage of that. Especially Homolka."

Joan tried to make a joke; "Surely there's.... A way to escape the Manor? Didn't the Doves have secret tunnels?"

That seemed to light the old man's eyes.

"Actually. There were. Our science teacher Aren - my son is named after him - he worked with some of Selby's own personal staff to create tunnels around the building. Most I assume were boarded up."

He pulled out an old map and spoke about the ideas and the many escapes but Joan took her time to analysis the map, her brain remembering every detail.

The door suddenly knocked and Lanaka entered.

Her hair was not as tidy and she was not wearing her Sunday best as Joan had often seen. She looked normal.

"Looks I've kept you here longer than you should be Joan - unless you want to talk Lanaka?"

"I do want to talk" Lanaka admitted; "But I don't know what to say to the child."

Joan ignored the "child" comment; "I may be asked to go to Raven's Manor. Me and the team weren't at the church for Founders Day."

"Why ever not?" Lanaka wasn't amused.

"I don't want to be near Homolka." 

"Regard..... No. No your completely right." 

Silence.

"Do you want to meet somewhere.....?" Joan tried a question.

"I still need to get this round my head Joan. I'm sorry. There's so many questions I want to ask you but I know asking a fifteen year old girl of.... It would not be pleasant for you."

"I'm sixteen and I can do unpleasant."

"Don't go anywhere. Be in my room. Have free tea. No point having these nosy locals staring at you both."

"Maybe sometime Joan. But not right now."

Joan bravely nodded. She waited until she was well out of earshot from local, teacher or student before quietly having a small weep.

She had to prepare herself for the worse couple of days. Maybe weeks. she could sense it.

It was time to put on a brave face.


	23. A Live and Uncomfortable Meeting

Dr Brookes merely came into the office, told them Lord Cross wished to see them that afternoon and left.

Even as Jim and Ebony argued over who would do the speaking, Joan knew it was no good.

She didn't try to step into the arguing like a very anxious Dean did. Her voice would do no good.

She couldn't help but wonder why Dr Brookes had simply left them in their own panic. For some.... character development?

Fuck that.

He didn't even wave them off when the local taxi - a horse drawn carriage of all things - picked the four up. Their friends from the Court wished them well but only three of the Head's of House were there to offer any comfort. 

Tom just told her not to get angry and be brave. There was nothing he could do, Joan understood that.

She felt betrayed by her Headmaster.

She was the first to speak in the carriage; "Why isn't Dr Brookes coming with us?"

"What can he do? The guy's just going to yell at us." Dean answered.

Jim and Ebony were silent. In no mood for debate.

Raven Hall was intimidating to the four. Usually a place to admire, it now felt like an evil castle. The Butler frowned as he waved them in and then into Lord Cross's office himself.

There he was in a suit with his trademark purple collar. His office seat was a hard throne - certainly not good for a man in his sixties.

Joan didn't actually know Lord Riando Cross's age but the guy had grey hair.

And for some reason.... Roald Homolka.

He had a very smug look at the sorry band - all looking very sheepish.

Except Joan. 

"One of them is already showing insolence Riando." Homolka declared; "The small girl is glaring at me."

"Joan!" Ebony hissed at her friend.

Joan didn't hear her.

In fact she didn't listen to the rant that followed. It was much what she imagined. Full of self importance, lots of lectures on tradition, how the team had let that side down.....

One thing that did faze her a little was that Jim, despite his efforts, wasn't given time to explain the reasons both he and the rest of them had come up with. He was shut down and not just by Cross but by Homolka.

And why the hell was Homolka there? He snapped photos and made comments.

It was disgraceful.

"Now. I will ask three of you to leave the room and wait for your fellow team member to leave. If you wish to hear what I have to say, the radio should be on."

Everyone felt their hearts drop.

Joan shook her head slightly as she heard her friends leave. Jim managed to pet her arm as he left.

Cross waited until Mr Brown, the Butler, closed the door; "So we finally meet properly Miss Miller."

Dr Brookes should have been here. Joan kept thinking that. He could have stopped this.

Lord Cross's smug smile widened as he pressed a few buttons on his desk. A mic appeared on his end and also on the end of the desk.

"Sit closer Miss Miller."

Joan knew better than not to obey.

Lord Cross pressed another button and some strange music played. Joan didn't recognize it. It was a Jingle.

Which could only mean.....

"Hello my fellow Mithridates citizens."

Oh. God.

This was real.

Joan worked hard to hide her humiliation and fear.

"As you know, Mithridates has seen it's fair share of controversies that have reflected poorly for the rest of the world. In my mission for our country to be taken seriously, I have worked hard to achieve that mission by identifying our problems and solving them. Some problems cannot simply be taken care of when the problem is one person. I have Miss Joan Miller in my office today - as Deputy Head Girl, her and her team failed to turn up to the Founder's Day Service. You may know her as the very girl who brought our most recent controversy to our Island."

By the time he actually looked at her, Joan had managed to get her feelings under control.

"Considering I know it was your actions that brought humiliation to me and my community, I think it's appropriate that everyone hears what you have to say for yourself and hear it's leader tell you what he and his people think of you." He leaned back; "What do you say to the people of Mithridates?"

Was he expecting an apology?

For what?

Screw that.

She told herself to be brave before quickly thinking of a reply.

"Dr Vicker's is not going to be pleased with the amount of work she will need to do after this." Joan replied dryly.

Cross lost his smile.

Homolka chuckled; "No less than you deserve girl."

He took a picture.

Joan felt her chest start going in as she heard his laugh but she couldn't let that slide; "Looking out for my own health and well being is not selfish. Dr Vicker's said so."

Homolka scoffed; "You actually need a psychologist?"

"I was told it was needed by my school. After I couldn't go to my Grandmother's funeral, they were talking about it but then there was the radio interview you did with my other Grandmother."

"Hold on" Cross put his hand out to stop Homolka talking; "What are you talking about? Funeral?"

"I can't leave the Island. My Gran died and Tom sent an appeal so I can go a week or two but it was denied."

"She's talking about the Head of Hapus sir." Mr Brown said; "Tom Zimmerman."

"I think you should remember he is a teacher and you should call him by your surname."

"You should remember your not my guardian - he is. Don't tell me what to do."

Joan had let out some snark which brought about a silence from the two unprepared men.

Homolka's camera wasn't even up anymore.

"So uh.... The Grandmother? Not Lanaka?" Cross couldn't hide his confusion; "You still have family besides your parents?"

"Gran took care of me from five till about eight or nine. She had Alzheimer's."

"Ah. Terrible disease. Killed my mother." Cross nodded; "Why did she look after you?"

Joan went quiet.

"Miss Miller, I'm aware what I'm asking is personal but surely you are used to having your life being discussed in such an open frank manner?"

"Not in front of me and only when I'm talking to Mrs Vicker's."

"What I plan to do to you relies on you cooperating with me You will answer my questions regardless of who is listening and you will answer them honestly. Clear?"

Joan blinked away a pain in her eyes and gave a nod.

"So. Why did your Grandmother look after you and not your parents?"

Joan's voice was quiet but clear;

"She came into the house one day and she found my Dad had left the door open on his way to work. She came in to make sure me and Mum were ok and she heard my mum yelling from the bathroom. She went up the stairs and pulled her off me and took me away. I stayed at her house until she got ill."

"She was on you?"

"Her hand was I guess."

Cross was forceful; "What was she doing to you?"

"I don't know.... Drowning me I suppose." She shrugged and kept her eyes on the window; "I just know Dad had said something and when he said something she either cried or - you know - you take it out by shouting at the kids you have. I don't have any brothers or sisters so I took the brunt of it."

Because her eyes were to the window, she didn't see the men's aside glances or Lord Cross's white face.

"Your Gran was obviously someone you cared very much for."

"She probably saved me from potential harm. Mum and Dad needed their space to work things out."

"Well enough about your family" Cross tried to save face; "You were obviously upset not to go to her funeral because you broke the rules -."

"No I didn't."

"Don't interrupt me girl -"

"I do not and will not take responsibility for police stupidity or my parents actions that put interest on your Island." 

Joan let loose with her bluntness.

"And quite frankly it boggles my mind that you wonder why I must be afraid of you or anyone in your community when I know things have been said since that happened. I was twelve year old kid - was I expected to behave like the adult? When I just heard my Mum had tried to kill my Dad? Then I have police men ask me questions I couldn't answer?"

Homolka spoke up'"You answered their call-"

"Before you try and tell me to behave, do me a favor and speak some sense into your piece of shit niece." Joan's voice went low; "You don't know how young girl's think - pal - and don't ever put my Grandmother in that situation again - you know she hates talking in public, you know better than to bother and old woman."

"Roald." Cross stopped Homokla from answering back; "Miss Miller. You have to understand that the rule was put in place to appease those who wished to see some punishment. However unjust you feel it was. I'm sorry this..... Death of a close family member happened but you must understand that when a rule is put in place, I cannot go back on my word. In two years, you will be able to leave and visit her grave and be with your parents once more."

Joan was silent.

"Satisfied?" Cross asked.

"No." Joan was honest; "My opinion of you and your committee has somewhat lowered. If this is the attitude you have to your "visitors", I doubt Mithridates is going to have a good relationship with the outside. I've been here five minutes and I feel intimidated and afraid. I know I feel worse when I leave this room today."

Before either men could reply, there were some furious knocks on the door. Mr Brown opened it and a big woman in a large but - in Joan's eyes - pretty dress entered;

"The hell are you doing Riando!"

Cross was mortified; "Marge!"

Joan was frozen as the change of atmosphere took her by surprise.

"Stop this." Lady Margareta pointed her finger at her husband; "Shut off that air line - you've tortured the poor girl enough, leave her be."

"Father." Lady Mary was at the door; "Just let her go. I can get the carriage for the students o you don't have to."

"And at least apologize for making her tell you those horrible things about her early life."

Joan felt a little sorry for the shrinking Lord Cross.

"Apologize for what?" Homolka asked/

"Enough from you Roald - and the girl is right. You're niece needs a tighter lease."

Lady Mary waved Joan over but the student stayed still. She wasn't quite sure what to do now.

"Fine." Cross gave a heavy sigh; "Well I'm sorry to have kept you and the rest of your team but I must ask that you attend meetings we request you to be at."

Joan didn't answer.

"You go with Mary, young lady," The wife was very polite; "And I'm sorry for such rudeness." She turned to her husband; "Turn. It. Off."

All the radios on Mithridates lost contact with Ravenhall Radio.


	24. The Camera

Dean and Ebony had had to hold Jim back when they heard the radio turn on. They had been led to the ground floor by the entrance and been told by the footmen to wait.

It was their arguing that had got the Lady of the House's attention and her and her daughter's subsequent rescue. Lady Margarita - known formally as Lady Marge, could be heard scolding her husband as her oldest daughter took Joan out closed the door.

Seeing her, Jim ran up the stairs and held her tight. A little too tight for Joan if she wasn't feeling as weak as she felt. Dean put his hand on her shoulder as she buried her face into Jim's shoulder. Ebony gave a curtsy to Lady Mary and thanked her.

"We heard the arguing and then realized the radio was on. I can only apologize, especially to you Miss Miller."

Joan had turned her face to her when she heard the woman's voice. All Lady Mary could see was an eye but it was very telling.

"Jesus Jim. your suffocating her" Dean gave the Head Boy a shake; "Let her breath."

Joan felt Jim's arms leave her; "Sorry."

"For what?" Jim asked; "You couldn't have done any worse in there."

Joan felt her energy leave her so she didn't reply.

Lady Marge let herself in and slammed the door, giving everyone a scare. She called for one of the footmen;

"Edmund - since Mr Brown is trapped in there, find Mrs Farr and tell her to arrange a car for our four guests." she turned to the students; "I have a waiting room just down here. All four of you should take some cake and have a drink - especially you Miss Miller. Settle your nerves."

"I-" Joan's voice stopped everyone; "I'm just gonna go."

"Joan." Ebony was firm; "You need to stay with us."

"No I - I need to be on my own for a while -"

"You'll just find trouble." Jim replied in a rather harsh tone; "How many times have you been left alone and things have happened to you?"

"Not my fault" Joan's mumbled.

"We just - don't want any more drama right now." Dean explained; "I'd rather we stuck together - we don't have to talk if it's making you tired-" 

"I'm not tired. I'm afraid." 

"Mr Homolka won't go near you, I'll see to it" Lady Mary seemed to read Joan's complicated mind; "And there are many in our community that will not judge you for what has happened. Many I'm sure feel for you."

Joan just felt and looked defeated.

Before anymore words were said, they heard the entrance doors close and Lady Marge went down to see who it was. The students were led into said waiting room and while Jim, Ebony and Dean sat down and tucked into cake, Joan went to the window and looked out, holding herself tightly and not saying a word.

The other three were silent too as they watched her and exchanged glances. Their friend had surprised them with the way she had talked back to Lord Cross and Homolka but it had clearly taken a lot out of her.

"Joan" Ebony went over with a fresh piece of cake; "I know that was horrible for you but you came out the victor."

"It's the attention." Joan mumbled.

"Attention?"

Joan looked at her with wide eyes; "I can't stand the attention. I'm never going to live this down am I?"

No one knew what to say to that.

Then they heard the arguing.

Dr Brookes entered; "Yes - yes I agree that it's hypercritical for me to argue for my students when I should have been here in the first place - but what you did was wrong. I did not think you would allow yourself to stoop that low."

Cross, in contrast, looked weaker but he raised and shook a fist; "My interests are with the community and the community wants to see how I treat those who brought safety concerns-"

"What concerns? You just want to bully a young girl. Or maybe your allowing yourself to be manipulated by Homolka, I don't care. You know you're talking-"

Joan's attention went to Homolka who, alog with Lady Marge and Lady Mary, snuck in. He still had his rather old fashioned camera and was clicking away.

The flashes hurt Joan's eyes.

She felt her energy return as she saw Homolka's smug grin. It was worse than Lord Cross's earlier.....

And Brookes had told him to stop. Lady Marge had told him to stop. Why wasn't he listening.

Screw it.

Joan made a sprint towards Homolka and grabbed his camera.

"Hey!" His voice got everyone's attention as he grabbed a hold of her.

She dropped it on the ground.

One foot down and it went right through what was the camera.

His hold tightened and she felt his nails; "You, smart-mouthed-"

He felt a punch to the gut. He gasped in a high pitch way and feel to his knees.

Joan didn't even look at him. She picked up what was left of the camera and dug into it. She found the tape and tore it up.

"Brookes!" Homolka tried to sound commanding but it was more of a squeak; "Stop that girl!"

Brookes had watched this with his mouth open but hearing Homolka, he closed it and glared at him; "I cannot in good conscious discipline the girl right now."

"She-"

"You brought this on yourself Homolka. Normally with assault or property damage I would award 12 of the very best. Since it was your camera and you instigated it, I hardly see the point." 

Lady Mary put herself between Homolka and Joan, protecting the student who was still. Breathing deeply but much less distressed than before.

Brookes then turned to Cross; "All I got from what I heard was that you are a danger to my students. You did not inform me you would put a member of my student team under that pressure - you said you would merely give them a lesson on Founder's Day. In the past, you've proved reliable and I felt we had a trust between school and the committee."

"You shouldn't have put that girl on you team." Cross mumbled, looking away.

"Why not? She's the most honest student. She'll tell me what I don't want to hear even if it's the truth." He noticed Joan was now watching him; "We'll get you out of here soon Miller."

"You should have come with us." Joan was quiet but clear; "I know I have brought a lot of problems for you but this wouldn't have happened if you were here."

"See?" Brookes turned to Cross after a pause; "I didn't want to hear that but she's right."

"A disgrace to the legacy of the Alana's....."

"Father." Lady Mary was not amused; "At the end of the day, you're a grown man bullying a sixteen year old girl with autism. And you encouraged the community to do the same. I'm surprised she hasn't had a mental breakdown thanks to all that happened."

"I've had a few." Joan replied matter of factly.

Mr Brown entered cautiously and informed everyone that the car to take them back to school was ready.

"I want that girl thrashed for what she did to me!" Homolka demanded.

"Not today and no promises." Brookes replied; "And may I also remind you that your niece is quickly heading towards expulsion. Perhaps in the past I've let my respect for the committee work against me but - after what happened today, I have lost that respect."

"I have the rule to take your funding-"

"Riando" Lady Marge shut down her husband; "That will just turn the whole community against you. The least you can do is apologize to Dr Brookes and his students, especially Miss Miller."

Cross stayed quiet.

"My husband can be an idiot Dr Brookes" said Lady Marge; "Give him a few days without Homolka here and he'll come to some sense."

The ride was quiet as no one really felt like talking. Brookes spoke to the young driver - Edmund the footmen - and Joan heard some talk of a girl named Katie who Edmund was quite "sweet" on.

It was at the school things got weird again.

Gladys was there waiting for her.

Stupidly, not realizing or even thinking that the rest of the team or the Headmaster was in the same car, Gladys grabbed Joan as soon she was out and screamed at her;

"Calling me a piece of shit? On the fucking radio-?!"

Ebony was out of the car quickly and tackled her former friend to the ground, putting in a punch before Dr Brookes and Dean pulled her off.

Tom had rushed down from his office to see Gladys's attack.

Brookes turned to him; "Deal with this student Mr Zimmerman. I need to talk to Miss Miller in my office."

"Are you alright?" Tom asked Joan.

She nodded. The quiet in the car had made her feel much better. The punch to Homolka had helped.

"Miss Vicker's" Brookes turned to the Head Girl as a defeated-for-now Gladys was taken to Zimmerman's office; "I understand you feel there's a danger at the moment but try not to use your fists. I'll let it go this time."

"Why does Joan have to go with you?" Dean asked.

"We need to talk in private. But I will stop to say that I apologize for letting you for without coming myself. Cross told me you would all receive a lecture and a lesson on Founder's Day and he would not target Miss Miller - I told him that was my main concern and he promised he would not. This is no excuse though and I humbly ask your forgiveness."

"Can we wait outside the office?" Jim asked.

"I think it's best you all call it a day. Avoid contact with everyone until tomorrow. Avoid all the questions." He turned to the entrance; "With me Miller."

Jim squeezed her hand as she left.

"Jesus Christ" Ebony sighed when they were alone; "We should have just let you run in there Jim. I'm sorry."

Jim shook his head; "She handled it well. Just.... Want them to leave her alone."

No one said another word.


	25. Fear

In reality, Brookes wanted Joan in his office so she could be safely picked up by Tom or Sarah.

With Tom busy dealing with Gladys, Sarah was also on detention watch so he decided to watch over Joan until someone was free to take her back to Tom's rooms.

Students were not usually allowed on the sofa unless they were being caned or being disciplined with another instrument. Joan didn't think about it as she rested and elbow on her knee, her hand under her chin. She could not sit up straight nor keep her eyes open wide.

"Miss Ramsey or Mr Zimmerman will come as soon as they can. I just want you to be in one place and away from the other students right now."

"Do they know?" Joan asked.

"About what Cross did? Yes. They were calling me as I was rushing to the Manor. Zimmerman was supposed to take you as soon as we got to the school. Of course, Miss Hillman had to get involved."

"I did call her a piece of shit over the radio."

"You were only telling the truth Joan. That's why your on the team."

"Should I really be sir? After today? I attacked a committee member."

"Homolka was never voted into the board."

"I still attacked a member."

"I will be dealing with you on that but not today." Brookes sighed; "You don't have many classes left do you?"

"No sir."

"Finished what you can do. Passed all exams" He looked at her; "You don't even need to do two more years but Tom tells me you want to do so."

"I mean.... If I'm not allowed to leave this Island for two more years, I may as well learn more."

"Maybe you should stay on the team - if nothing else will take up your time." Brookes chuckled; "I don't think this school has ever had this situation before. A student who has already passed all exams by sixteen." Then he seemed sad; "It's s shame you won't be remembered for that."

"Why did Cross throw the Alana's name at me?"

"Cross's wife said it best Joan. Sometimes Riando forgets himself and says things he shouldn't when he knows he's in the wrong. I should maybe let old Alaric know what was said."

Joan shrugged; "It wasn't a private meeting, go ahead."

"Weren't you offended?"

"No just confused." She gave a sigh; "I was.... Close to losing it in that room. I kind of did."

"Despite the swearing, you didn't sound upset. Frustrated yes, but who could blame you? You dealt with it very well Joan, you should be proud of yourself."

"Tom and Sarah's going to kill me....."

"I doubt it." Brookes became firm; "They're on your side Joan. If there's anything they can do to protect you they will. You have to start trusting them - not hiding your worries. And you'll need them more than ever."

"Things are going to get worst." Joan mumbled,

"Not if you do as they say."

"What about Hillman?"

"Jim told me you were not to be left alone in the office, Perhaps you should not be alone in the corridors either."

"I can avoid being alone and being places that a teacher would not be around but it's not going to stop her or her goons."

"I have their names." Brookes was very firm; "If they try anything, there will be severe consequences. If Hillman doesn't get it now, she will the next time she tries to put her hands on you or anyone else."

Joan didn't feel satisfied; "I'd rather she was out now."

"So do I. Too much politics ends up getting in the way sometimes."

Sarah picked up Joan later on. She was still annoyed with Chris for not going with the students but she was glad he was there for Joan in the end.

Joan didn't want to talk about what had happened. Sarah knew everything anyway. She had heard the radio and also heard from friends in the Manor of Homolka's assault and damage to the camera.

She didn't want to discipline Joan despite her instincts telling her she should. The kid had suffered enough.

When Tom finally came out of his office, Joan was already fast asleep on the sofa, Sarah with her and stroking her hair.

He had used both a strap and cane on Gladys. The girl had called Joan every name under the sun earning her more strokes and she was to report to every weekend detention. He didn't know what else he could do but watch out for Joan when he could.

She looked like the very twelve year old he met as she lay there.

"Chris is going to discipline her sometime this week" Sarah told him when they were alone; "I didn't want to do anything if....."

"No" he shook his head; "Not right now. Until we get an apology, maybe never."

"It's only Homolka anyway." Sarah found herself saying. She had to smile. Her mother would have been appalled. "I had students coming in telling me to rescue her. There's only a few who thought the whole thing was a joke but it seems to have rallied the majority to her side."

"I don't have any hope that will deter Hillman or her group. As for Cross, it'll take a while for him to admit he was wrong. I don't know about the community."

His phone ran.

It was Lanaka.

He had given the woman his details as soon as he learned she was family to Joan but she had said she wouldn't call.

"Is she safe now? Is she with you?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Thank God. I heard it. I heard her voice and.... Oh God.... It was my sister Rewa when they challenged her... our parents....."

Sarah could hear and held the sleeping Joan tighter.

"She is safe. She assaulted Homolka afterwards but she won't suffer much for that."

"Let us hope so. Alaric wants to demand a meeting but I told him the girl had suffered enough embarrassment. But if we have to do so, I will go with him. The girl has suffered so much Tom and I want to be there for her I just..... What can I say that won't hurt her or make her sad? I could have saved her all those years ago. Came back to see my daughter. Safe my daughter even...."

"Have you been in contact with Tammie?"

"Yes. Tammie has written to me a few times. She says she wants to talk to Joan but doesn't know what to say."

"What does she say? I can't get a hold of her. Only Keith."

"She won't talk of him. My questions were either ignored or she said he hurt them both. She won't go into detail. But when I saw Joan in the Memorium.... I was abused as a child Tom, along with Disbar and Rewa. And when I saw her, I just knew something must have happened. I told myself that the committee had done the abusing but something didn't sit well. And I asked Tammie what Joan went through and she wouldn't say. Then I hear from Joan's own mouth today......"

They heard sobbing.

Sarah closed her eyes as they too watered. Joan felt very small in her hold.

"Just...." Lanaka tried to settle, "What else happened? Tammie was able to tell me what she did to Keith and she tells me how smart her little girl was - how funny she could be, how proud she was..... But something is wrong and I fear I could and didn't save her."

"She is safe." Tom promised.

"I will learn not to be afraid and be the Grandmother the other one was to her. But I will understand if she doesn't want to talk to me."

Tom didn't know how to answer that; "You can always speak to me Lanaka. I need my friends. And Joan needs as many allies as she can."

"Thank you Tom."

Tom put the phone down, grabbed his head and groaned out a sob.

Joan slept through the teacher's tears.


	26. The Letter

Joan was pleasantly surprised at how little much had changed at the school.

No one seemed interested in talking about what had happened - not even the nosy Ferox press team. Not even Jim asked which she had been dreading the most.

Two weeks past and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

She still visited Alaric and Lanaka. The old woman was nice but she would not talk about anything personal. It didn't feel real to Joan that this woman was her Grandmother.

Her father's Grandmother had raised her for a part of her young life. This woman had left her mother. Would she have done the same......?

It wasn't worth thinking about.

Gladys was the only one acting strange.

There was no jokes, no trippings, not even a member of her group on sight.

All she and her group did was glare whenever they were near. Unnerving, not not anything she or the team could really stop.

But then there was the church services.

Joan could feel eyes watching her. Even Father Cameron's when he was leading prayer.

She started leaving church as soon as she could just to end up at the Memorial Building.

The Memorial Building always felt strange now that she knew three of her own family were laid in state. 

She didn't quite know what to make of it. Lanaka spoke little of her brother and sister - what they were like beyond the history books. 

And as for Ruth Munro....

Her room just bothered Joan. Her encounter with what Alaric said was "the ghost" bothered her.

Still, the books said Ruth was a harmless girl. She had suffered a lot yet was a sweet girl.

Rewa and Disbar were different. Not so sweet, swore like sailors yet were very passionate in what they believed in.

Joan felt like nothing when she read her family's legacy - more so, knowing what......

Her thoughts were interrupted by Sam who came running, forgetting the rules but Joan didn't feel like telling him off.

"Sorry Joan. Got a letter. Well - huge envelope."

"Are you on Odd Jobs?"

"Afraid so" Sam shrugged; "Got Sarang in trouble too. She choice the slipper - Edie and some of the girls had to comfort her. I don't think she quite knew how hard Miss Ramsey's arm is."

He noticed his Deputy Head Girl was pale as she read the first sentences.

"Are you alright?"

"Not really" Joan admitted; "You can go - just don't run ok?"

She had expected Tom to come running when she went to his rooms.

But nothing.

Everything was apparently normal.

She realized he didn't know. She was the only one who knew.

Which meant.....

She didn't know what that meant.

Except she would have to be the one to tell him.

But for once, Tom looked like he was at peace. Things were going well now.

And besides this didn't really involve.....

Today wasn't the right time. She needed time to think.

The next day, a Monday, some students did notice Joan seemed very down. She attended what little lessons she had and sat to watch the Sport Guilds perform.

But it was very clear she seemed very sad.

Even Mr Read who had avoided talking to her called her over; "Anyone been bothering you that I should know Miller?"

"No sir."

"You're walking around like someone had died."

He heard an annoyed sniff. Normally he would have given the pink slip but - yeah, Sarah and Tom would kill him.

"If Hillman or her group is bothering you, you need to tell someone. Even if it's me."

"Thank you." Joan was already leaving; "I'm fine sir."

Jim had heard the conversation as he was walking past; "Mr Read, what's wrong?"

"Huh." He now shrugged; "Feeling miserable again."

Jim had no more classes so he rushed ahead to find Joan.

Joan however, knowing he was following, didn't feel ready to talk so she found herself where he wouldn't or shouldn't find her -

In the Wrestling Room.


	27. Wrestling Court

She already kind of knew it was a big mistake.

Madison, with her camera, was taking pictures of the younger Ferox members - Sam, Sarang and Ivy – who were practicing karate.

The place was busy. As well as Karate, there was a wrestling ring with two Obair’s fighting with a sixth year Aprender as the ref. Everyone else was doing fencing, Judo ect….

It must be the Fighter’s Guild.

Dean and Ebony were doing Judo together while the Guild Leader, Celia Spence was acting as ref. Joan couldn’t hear what was said but it was clear Dean was making jokes that seemed to gather a small crowd who laughed every time he opened his mouth -

"Joan!"

_Dahm it._

Jim ignored the room as he marched up to his team member; "What's wrong with you?"

"I-"

"You've got Read worried - what's wrong, has someone hurt you?"

"Not - it's fine."

Joan knew from experience that people didn’t really listen when anxious or angry. Right now, she wasn’t sure what Jim was feeling – maybe both?

"No it's not fine! Every-time something happens, you never want to talk about it! That's why you always end up in trouble - people think they can do what they like because you won't say anything to stop it!"

When he finished his small rant, Joan suddenly noticed the room had gone very quiet.

She didn’t want to be noticed.

“Where are you going?” Jim demanded as she turned away.

“Do you mind?”

Jim turned around to see Celia Spencer had come close.

Celia was the leader of the Fighter’s Guild and both a rugby and football player. She was the Obair’s answer to “Kana”, “Meiko Satamura” and any female fighters who could kick a man’s behind in less than five seconds.

Jim frowned; “I’m talking right now.”

“No, you’re yelling. And at Joan.”

“It’s fine.” Joan muttered.

Jim suddenly felt bad; “at least think on it ok?”

Joan just gave him a look and then turned away, hugging herself.

“Joan?”

“Leave it Jim” Ebony said; “She’s not in the mood to talk right now.”

Dean patted Celia and whispered something.

Celia turned to the room; “Everyone get back to what you were doing! It’s rude to stare you know!”

She was silently telling the room to stop staring at the deputy head girl. Even if she was visibly stressed and that was always interesting to see.

“Can we talk later?” Jim asked, very defeated.

Joan nodded. He went over to Ebony and Dean who carried on fighting and sat down to watch them. His back to her.

“What was his problem?” Ivy, who had come close, asked.

Joan’s hands waved in embarrassment; “I uh….”

“Don’t bother explaining Joan” Celia said; “it’s none of our business. Though I must say, I don't normally see you in here."

"Actually I was.... Hoping to avoid him."

"He's just anxious about you pal. All boyfriends act that way."

"We're just friends."

"Sure." Madison muttered to herself.

"Madison, your here to take pictures and film - not evesdrop." Celia then called out to everyone: “I’m going to get changed and then go and meet up with Hampton. But if you need me, I’ll be back to lock up in an hour or later.”

Madison waited until Celia was gone; "Being serious, are you actually ok? You look very down."

Joan decided to be a little truthful; "I uh.... I just heard some bad news from my family back home."

Madison felt her heart drop; "Oh Jesus.... You don't need to talk about it-"

"I don't want to. And uh.... Thanks for not asking about Cross and what he did."

Madison gave her a smile; "We won't be running any story on that pal. Don't worry. We did have the other press groups asking and we told them to fuck off. You won’t have anyone coming after you anytime-"

The door burst open.

It gave everyone a fright.

But when Joan saw who it was, she felt herself sigh with irritation.

Oh all the fucking things that had to happen.....

“No!” Jim was up; “Take one step towards her-”

“You should not be in here-” Ebony saw who it was.

Still in his karate suit, Sam rushed forward and stood in front of Joan – possible the only one who didn’t appear afraid or alarmed.

Madison heard Joan swear under her breath in irritation and backed up into a wall. She pressed play on her film camera.

Gladys looked around with a smug look which only seemed to get creepier when she found Joan;

“What’s the matter Miller? Still can’t defend yourself – you have to have a first year and these losers to do it for you?”

“Gladys. You need to leave.” Jim tried again, almost getting into her face.

Joan put her hands on Sam’s shoulders and whispered for him to stay with the younger girls – they may need him. She would be ok. Sam was not convinced but he saw Ivy and Sarang were clearly afraid so he rushed over.

“Guys!” Gladys yelled to the door behind her.

“You better go.” Joan told Jim.

“No.” Jim answered.

Joan climbed into the wrestling ring that was in the middle of the large room. She had to get a better look at what was going on.

The gang was right behind Gladys. She saw their faces.

There was the usual two - Millie Smart and Rebecca Samson. They had been with Gladys since the beginning.

Then came the tall, athletic Juno Olwen. A recent member and the first Ferox student.

Beau Clark and Ruby Wade. Because those losers didn't have anything better to do.

Then there were five new members. Joan didn't know any of them.

Except one.

Blair Stillman. The only other Ferox.

The other four were three Obair males and a female Hapus.

Then Ron Wade pushed himself to the front. He was not in uniform. He picked up a cricket bat that someone had just left on the floor.

The hell was he doing here?

She watched silently as Jim, Ebony and Dean were overpowered and shut into a cupboard. The door was then locked from the outside. Everyone else seemed to freeze in both shock and in excitement as to what was going on.

Joan could hear Jim’s muffled shouts as he pounded the door, telling her to run.

But there wasn’t any point. In her mind, she would need to keep Hillman, Wade and the rest in one space. And if they were after her, she would have to stay.

"Well? Are you going to say anything?" Gladys asked the Deputy Head Girl, her arms folded; "Or are you going to stay up there and act all high and mighty?"

Joan knew she could dismiss this stupidity. She was above this. She didn't have the energy to feel intimidated.

"I've been told that should you or anyone you are friends with touch me, you yourself will get expelled."

"That doesn't bother me." 

Already, Joan could tell Gladys was put off.

"Sure." Joan shrugged; "I should warn you - Stillman wasn't very useful to the Court. How has he been useful to you? Apart from running to your Uncle for a story?"

"Shut up!" Blair had turned pink; "You're arrogant - you think your better than everyone!"

"Shut up." Little Ruby ordered; “Gladys said she would do the talking!”

He shut up.

Joan would have found this very funny if not for -

"So here's what we're going to do Miller" Gladys said; "We're going to put on a little show - I was in the Fighter's Guild. We used to have wrestling on Monday till Celia cut the times and I got thrown out. Ron and I are going to help you out -"

"Leave her alone!" Sarang suddenly shouted.

Joan watched in silence as some of the gang went for the younger students and – despite Sam and even Sarang managing to throw in some good punches - all three kids were held down.

Only Beau, Blair and Juno now walked behind Ron and Gladys.

"Miller doesn't say anything. You noticed that?" Juno said to the students; "Useless."

Joan knew those kids understood she could do nothing to save them.

But Juno's comments did hit a nerve; "Why don't you leave the talking to Hillman? At least she doesn't sound like the idiot bodyguard."

The tall sixth year glared.

"Ron wait-"

Joan saw Juno's face turn white as Blair suddenly shouted.

She was about to turn when something hard struck her.

She felt pain.

Something hard was hitting her over and over.

And a boy's voice got louder, shouting for Ron to stop.

She opened her eyes as the assault suddenly stopped to see a pair of shoes standing - protecting her from more blows.

It was Blair's shoes.

""You’re going to end up killing her." Blair protested.

"I'm careful!" Ron growled.

Jim could be heard punching the cupboard door. He and his fellow captives couldn’t see but they could hear everything.

"The idiots right" Gladys said; "Drop it. It's supposed to be between me and her - remember?"

Ron angrily dropped the cricket bat he was holding and kicked it away; "It was fine!"

Blair wasn’t done; "You said you'd just scare her and leave - what's your beef with Joan anyway?"

"She gets my girl in trouble!"

"My girl, gross" Joan muttered despite her headache,

"Then you should have stayed away. You being here would have got "your girl" expelled. And I know Homolka has threatened you to stay out of Gladys life - or he'll have you arrested. I know this, I heard him say so."

Blair could feel the hostility and confusion as everyone in the room listened to him. He felt fear. But Joan’s eyes that silently thanked him made this moment in his life worth it.

"Do you want to join them?" Juno asked, pointing at the frightened, beaten first years.

"I just don't want to watch an accidental murder. Do you?"

Juno glared at Joan; "Her actions four years ago could have led to accidental death. My pa said so. Those police could have killed someone."

"Is this idiot still obsessed with that?" Joan openly asked through the pain.

Juno grabbed her now; "You don't know how much damage could have happened! Outsiders are dangerous! They don't respect our culture or our ways!"

Joan gave a strange smile; “tell me how the hell I managed to talk to the police when someone had stolen my phone already?" Her voice went a bit louder; "Care to answer that Gladys?"

Gladys coughed out a nervous laugh; “No.”

Blair suddenly appeared more alert than ever; “Wait – you?”

Juno looked at him.

Gladys averted her eyes; "Just hit her Olwen."

Juno felt strange; "Gladys?"

"Miss Ramsey told us someone took Joan's phone right before that November" it was all coming back to Blair; "which means.... Joan couldn't have been contacted. You never got a new phone did you?"

"No." Joan answered. She was now up despite her headache.

“You stay out of this!” Gladys warned Blair.

He wasn’t done; “She said if anyone took it, we had to own up. Three days later, the police came. Two months after, we were told her phone was handed in.”

“I said-”

“Why do this when at the end of the day, Joan is the one who really suffered? The whole school already knows too much. The police even said they were wrong to only contact her. And if she didn’t have her phone and you did – that means you were the one who spoke to them.”

Joan felt Juno’s grip on her loosen and she gently pulled away. Her vision was clearer now.

“Wait, so…..” Juno spoke up; “you actually spoke to the police? You were the one they heard?”

“Forget it.” Gladys ordered; “and at the end of the day, who did they come for?”

Juno looked at Madison and then at the crowd who all shared her bewilderment.

“Your best friend asked you a question.” Joan’s quiet voice was firm.

Gladys responded with a slap.

Joan answered with a push.

They both glared at each other.

“Do it.” Ron said over the tension; “you said you would.”

The thumping from the cupboard was heard again/

Gladys went close; “ok so I did answer them for you. The only reason I’m admitting is because you’ve pushed me.”

“Well if that’s all it took-”

Gladys grabbed her hair; “You know what I mean!”

Joan just gave her a smile.

Juno felt like a fool.

“I’ll get help Joan.” Blair promised.

Both girl’s attention was shifted as Millie, Beau, Ruby and Rebecca stopped Blair with their fists and dragged him into the gym cupboard. Jim was heard to shout again for Joan to run before the door was slammed shut and locked again.

Joan stared at the door but didn’t move.

Madison continued to film it all. Her hands shaking.

“Anyone else?” Gladys threatened the room.

Those who were entertained before, now felt very uncomfortable.

“Are you going to answer your friend or not?” Joan broke the silence. She seemed energised.

“She doesn’t need to know.”

“Ebony was right about you.”

Gladys threw a punch.

Joan saw another coming and grabbed it.

“Girls!” Juno got in the ring.

Gladys swore as she tried to free her hand from Joan’s hold.

Ron followed; “Olwen, leave them.”

Gladys swore again and kicked at the legs. Joan responded with her own punch and to everyone’s shook, Gladys was down.

Ron rushed to his girlfriend’s side.

“Joan. You should leave.” Juno said, over Glady’s whimpers and Ron’s soothing.

Joan ignored her.

“Joan!”

Joan glared at her; “I don’t answer to an idiot.”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“Your no better than these two.”

Ron got up and without a word or warning, pushed Joan into the ropes, held her hair and started slapping her.

Ebony’s muffled yell was heard over the chaos – calling Ron a bitch and the rest, some words that Joan had never heard but knew they were bad.

Juno grabbed Ron’s arm, but Gladys shoved her away; “you stay out of it!”

“This was supposed to be between you and her!” Juno protested. “You clearly lost!”

“We never even started.” Gladys turned to Ron; “Alright that’s enough.” She shouted; “Enough!”

Ron shoved Joan to the ground and finished with a kick.

“I said enough!”

“Just making sure she learns to play fair.” Ron put his hands up and shrugged, ignoring the horrified looks he was getting.

Joan crawled into a corner of the ring and tried to rest. Her face and chest hurt.

That was too simple to describe it, but that was all she could think about. She could hear Ivy, Sarang and some of the older girls crying.

Gladys strolled towards her enemy, bent down and took the chin; “How did that feel retard? She expected the damage; “Useless. Didn’t even get any tears.”

“I wasn’t going to use my full strength!” Ron was offended.

“With this one, you can.”

“Well maybe I should try again-”

“Ron!” Juno stopped him.

“It’s between them.” Ron’s sister poked her head through the ropes.

Ron took a step away.

“Nice to see a guy get put in his place.”

Ron glared at Joan; “Another word.”

Joan would have smiled at him but Gladys tightened her hold and pulled her up. Once on her feet, she felt a push but managed to stay standing.

“Now it’s on!” Gladys declared, to the cheers of her cult.

“Oh for God’s sake….” Joan responded with annoyance, shaking away her growing headache and focussing on Gladys feet.

Sure enough, they struck first.

Joan let them sting before grabbing the left and holding on as Gladys fell on her back. As Gladys kicked back, Joan threw herself on top and gave her enemy’s face the same treatment Ron had given hers.

“Go on Miller!”

Sam got excited and ignored the cult’s glare.

Millie started to march to him.

“Go Joan!” Sarang, her face wet, became unfrozen.

Millie turned to her.

“Come on!” Ivy then yelled at her deputy Head Girl; “show her she’s nothing!”

Joan’s ears caught Ivy’s cheer and she stopped, distracted. Gladys tried to pull herself away. Her focus back, Joan stopped Glady’s move with a headlock and held on despite the punches and elbow strikes.

Watching her own mother fight in her early years had paid off.

Three students became five. Then eight. Then the whole room started to chant for their deputy head girl. The cult was silenced at first but soon started chanting for their leader.

Only Juno stood silently. Ron yelling at his girlfriend to break free next to her.

Madison tried to get everything she could. In his prison, Blair prayed that Joan was ok while the three team members banged on the walls and door – begging both girls to stop.

Feeling Glady’s strength leave her, Joan let go and stomped on the shoulder, getting a shriek.

That shriek was glorious.

Then she rested at the ropes and stared at her fallen enemy. Her body ached with fatigue, but she couldn’t deny that had been more fun than she was comfortable with.

The room went silent.

“Are we done?” Juno asked as Gladys crawled to her.

“Give me a second.” Gladys growled. Her face was crimson.

Joan made a tut sound.

Ron turned; "Do you have something to say?"

"Ron" Gladys told him to shut up.

"She's making fun of you!"

"Shut up! Just shut up".

Ron glared at Joan. 

Her eyes gave away what she was thinking.

"You think I'm an idiot?" He seethed.

Joan didn't answer. 

"Wipe off that look on your face!" Ron made a step towards her.

"You take one more step towards me....." Joan whispered, her energy returning.

"Or what?"

"I don't want you to go near me."

Gladys looked up, curious.

Ron grinned; "You're scared of me." 

Joan made a move under the rope but Ron was too quick and dragged her out. She hit him a few times but she was no match for the stronger boy.

She could feel the air escape from her chest as he sat on top of her.

She could hear more shouting as she struggled to move and breath.

Then he got up and picked up the bat.

"Ron for fuck's sake!" Juno was now the one in-between Ron and Joan; "Leave her alone!"

Joan kept her head down as she coughed and tried to settle her breath.

"She started it!" He pointed.

"You will kill her!"

"I won't! Me and Beau had her in the bike shed once - I know what I'm doing!"

Beau let out an uncomfortable cough.

Everyone looked at him.

"Beau?" Gladys glared; "Do you have something to say now?"

"Nothing important" He said; "I'll explain later."

Gladys turned to Ron; "What did you do?"

Ron was getting annoyed; "Are you going to fight her again or not? Look at her, I've weakened her a bit, go for it!"

Gladys looked at her enemy.

Joan looked so pitiful. Almost perfect for a bully.

But something felt wrong.

"Joan. What did he do?"

Joan didn't remember the last time Gladys had used her first name and it got her attention; "I uh.... I don't like talking-"

Gladys grabbed her chin and yanked; " _Tell me_ "

Joan groaned a little; "Made me take things off.... I don't want to talk about it..."

Gladys let go. Her eyes were wide.

"I made her show me her chest and Beau and I agree that we don't know what the Head Boy must be thinking" Ron said. It was no big deal.

"Yeah, Ron. I wasn't part of it" Beau said - feeling some of his own friends both in and out the gang glaring at him.

Joan slipped under the ropes and tried to stand. She felt weak.

“You. Sick. Bastard.” Gladys growled at her boyfriend.

Ron suddenly felt even more angry and without stopping to think, he made a wild rush and he pushed as hard as he could into the ropes and into Joan.

Joan felt herself fall.

Then more pain.

Then there were screams. From Sarang and Ivy. Not from her.

Ron jumped down and spat. Then he started to kick.

Gladys grabbed him from behind; "Ron! You - stop it!"

"Ron!" Beau had now stepped forward; "They're right. Your taking this too far!"

“I’m defending her!” Ron protested, pointing at Gladys; “I fight by her side, I protect her!”

Joan could taste blood; “Jesus Gladys, even I know you can do better.”

Juno bent down; “Can you not speak?”

“I’ve got to show I’m still alive.” Joan tried to get up.

Then she suddenly collapsed.

Her chest felt… sore.

And her shoulder….

And her arm…..

She couldn’t raise it.

Breathing hurt.

Worse than the cigarettes actually.

Odd.

“What’s wrong?” Gladys didn’t like what she’d seen; “Where does it hurt?”

Joan shifted away a little and kept her face down.

Gladys came forward; “Don’t act all scared now.”

“Gladys-”

Gladys growled at Juno; “What is wrong with you?”

Juno stepped out of the ring; “You saw what Ron did, she could have broken something.”

Gladys felt the fear of God in her; “Why isn’t she saying anything?”

“Because she never says if she’s hurt, you said so yourself.” Juno looked at her friend’s enemy; “So what do we do?”

“You’re supposed to show Ron her scar.” Ruby spoke up. Millie hushed her.

“Leave it.” Gladys shook her head.

Ron moved towards Joan.

“I said leave it Ron!”

Ron grabbed Joan’s right arm and jerked it. Joan visibly withered with her eyes and mouth tightly closed.

“Ron!” Gladys punched his own arm a few times; “Leave it!”

Ron pulled Joan into him and held her by the neck with his forearm. Joan used her good arm to try and break free, but Ron was too strong.

He then used his own free arm to pull up her shirt and look down.

“That is nasty.” He remarked.

Gladys went close; “let go.”

“You know who this is?” Ron joked. He held Joan tighter; “is this the hardest you’ve been held by a guy Miller? Does Jim hug you tight as he cries about his sister?”

Joan bit him.

Ron shrieked and pushed her away, swearing and yelling that his arm stung.

Joan just sat on the ground. She was breathless.

“It’s a fucking bite mark, grow up!” Gladys spoke everyone’s thoughts.

Ron went for Joan again but Juno, Gladys and Beau jumped in and pulled him away.

“The hell?” Ron yelled at Beau.

“She’s already hurt” Beau gestured at Joan.

“She wants to keep it going!”

“She’s mine to deal with!” Gladys responded.

Ron swore again; “Fine.”

“Gladys” Juno put her hand up; “lets just leave.”

Behind her, Joan had got up and stumbled. She held her head with her left while her right hung lifelessly at her side.

Gladys saw her; “we’re finished here. Learned your lesson?”

Despite her pain, Joan’s voice was clear; “I don’t remember being told there was a lesson. Just that you wanted to fight.”

“You don’t know when to shut up do you?” Gladys came close.

“You don’t know when to stop.” Joan looked at the ground to avoid seeing her face; “you…. You did take my phone, right?”

“Yeah. So?”

“All I did was fight back once. Once. And you do this to me.”

“It’s was only a joke-”

Gladys stopped. Even she knew that was a stupid thing to say.

“Look.” Gladys put her hands up; “In my defence, I didn’t know taking your phone and answering that call for you would change your life the way it has. I regret it, I do. It was meant to be a joke, and now I’m watching what’s happened to you and I feel responsible.”

Joan looked at her.

“I’ve never liked you Joan so I’ve no sympathy for some of the things – Read, whatever supposedly happened at home and what you and Jim have going on – but it does suck what happened with your Gran. They should have let you through-”

Joan’s eye contact failed, and she started to mutter under her breath.

“Miller?”

Joan turned away and clearly struggling to do so, lifted her arm and grabbed her head.

“Jesus. It’s almost not worth it anymore with you.”

“Can I not jump on her or something?” Ron asked; “Hold her so you can hit her?”

Gladys just looked at him.

"I'll be at the hostel. Call me if things get interesting again." He spat at Joan before leaving, pushing past Celia Spencer.

Everyone froze again. Except Joan who tried to shake her headache while Ebony bashed on the cupboard door. Beau let her and the others out.

"The hell is going on?" Celia looked around the room; "Some of you shouldn't be here-"

She, Jim, Ebony and Dean stared at Joan.

Joan didn’t move; “Before you say anything…. I have a headache.”

All four looked at Gladys.

“Leave it.”

Ebony spoke; “Joan.”

“Leave it!”

Gladys now stared at her; “You’re not right in the head.”

Joan managed – somehow – to get up; “I needed the distraction…. Maybe not a sore shoulder…..” Joan struggled with her words, “Bad headache…..”

“What did Ron use on her?” Ebony asked Gladys.

Gladys didn’t respond. She just continued to stare at her enemy.

“He used a bat” Blair spoke up; “That’s why I tried to stop it.”

Celia shouted; “Everyone out! Now! Tell any teacher you see what happened!”

Madison ran over; “I have footage.”

“Let’s take it to the Head” and Dean ran out with Madison.

Joan reached for her bag but Jim got there first; “Can someone get us a seat?”

“I’m fine.” Joan quietly protested.

“You’re hurt!”

"No." Joan became firm. "Yes I'm hurt - yes, I will see someone about it. No, I don't need help. And no, no one in here is in trouble."

"You landed pretty badly when he threw you." Said Juno, who was feeling very guilty.

"Great observation." The Deputy Head Girl muttered as she checked everything in her bag, visibly wincing.

"Can I at least-" Celia tried.

"No." Joan glared at her; "You will start locking up. Ask everyone who shouldn't be here to leave. If anyone wants to report it they can - I'm fine."

"Joan." Gladys stepped forward.

"I'm not in the fucking mood Gladys." Joan slipped a little anger there.

"It's just one question."

Joan looked at her.

"If you knew it was me. Why did you never tell anyone?"

"I wouldn't wish what has happened to me to happen to my worse enemy." Joan replied; "You’re not even my worse." She tried to put her bag over her shoulder but suddenly held back a shriek and quickly put it over the other one; "Until he ruined it, great fight. Thanks. Enjoyed it."

"You're being sarcastic-"

Joan was already leaving; "Waste of my time."

Ebony turned to Gladys; "What the hell did you do?"

Gladys didn’t know what to say.

So she simply punched her former friend.

Pandemonium erupted.

Joan heard it but didn't turn around to help. Not even when Gail and the Head of Obair came running past and shouted for her to come and help - perhaps not noticing she was hurt.

More students ran past her. And more. And more.

Joan went to the Headmaster’s office but then stopped. She looked to the left and saw the often unused disabled toilet. She went in and locked the door.

Then she curled up and allowed herself to cry.

Then she felt herself lose conscious and tried to fight it. She lost.

She didn’t hear the screams or chants of the students outside. Nor did she hear Dr Brooke’s angry voice demanding she come to his office.

She was lost in a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from.


	28. An Unexpected Visitor

Joan woke to a heavy head and heart as she slowly remembered what had happened.

She wanted to stay lying on the ground but knew it was stupid.

Her head still hurt.

She used the toilet to help herself to her feet. Then she looked in the mirror.

Despite being a red head, she could see the blood flowing from her face. She looked down and realised she had been sleeping in a pool of blood.

The cleaners were not going to be happy.

She picked up her bag and took out the files – pulling out the letter that had made her sad in the first place. She put the files back in her back – her head thumping as she did so – and held the letter in her hand.

She had to find Tom or Sarah. Now.

She unlocked the door and immediately noticed something was off.

It was quiet. Too quiet.

Had there been an evacuation?

Had – for once – she’d been forgotten?

She wondered if her friends were ok.

She saw Dr Brooke’s office door was open. No one was in there.

Curious and slightly afraid, she went in and walked to the large window. Then she looked out.

At first, it was confusing. It was like the whole school was outside. Students were on parts of the grass they should not have been on. Students weren’t even separated by House and the teachers weren’t even shouting.

Instead, everyone was watching what was going on the middle of the grounds entrance.

Joan could see Dr Brookes. And she could see….

Why was the committee and Ebony’s parents there?

And why was Dad’s car right in the middle?

There he was…. Yelling at Tom. And Tom looked both confused and frightened.

Jim was with the court, being held by both Ebony and Dean. Ebony looked fine, considering she fought off Gladys….

And Gladys was right at the gates, leaning with her arms folded. Joan couldn’t tell if she was bored or annoyed.

That wasn’t important. Right now, all she knew was that Dad was here. And that meant trouble.

She knew she had to do something.

She looked at the desk and found the button Brookes used to address his students. She kept an eye on the window to watch any reaction.

Dr Brookes heard the familiar sound and looked up at his window.

He had been dealing with the Hillman gang when word got out that an angry outsider had smashed through the gates. No one at first knew who the man was until Tom went to confront him.

Now Brookes had the students out of the school – and he realised Joan was the only student them.

It was a worry for the team and the students who had witnessed the attack in the gym.

And now he had the committee watching and wondering why there was an unwanted outsider on their Island while this stranger – claiming to e his deputy head girl’s father – kept yelling at Tom that he was “no monster” and whatever “Tammie” said was a lie. He only got angrier when it was clear no one knew where Joan was.

Until now.

The stranger noticed the Head’s gaze and looked up.

Then he glared at Tom; “You said you had no idea where she was.”

Tom had tried very hard to calm his friend; “Keith, listen now is not-”

The man was off like a rocket – locking the main doors behind him.

Joan saw her father ran but stay still, her hand on the window and looking down at the school community. She could feel everyone’s gaze.

She realised she had kept the desk button on but didn’t move.

“Tom. I had a letter to show you.” Joan said quietly – knowing her voice was being picked up by the sensitive mic so everyone could hear her – “Mum died.”

She heard the banging from the door and knew everyone could hear too.

“I’m ok” She tried to reassure them all. Then she turned away.

All anyone outside could see was her back.

Tom and P.C Vicker’s immediately went around the school for an alternative exit.

Then Jim suddenly pulled himself out of his friends grasp and went the other way.

“Morrison!” Brookes tried to stop him.

Ebony and Dean- after one glance at each other - ran after him.

“Call the rest of the police.” Brookes demanded from Lord Cross; “Dr Vicker’s, you must stand by.”

“I’ll go with those three.” Ebony’s mother was not going to let her daughter get in anymore trouble; “You’ll need the police for those thugs anyway.”

Gladys and her group remained very quiet as they watched the window.

Joan didn’t know why her Dad punched the door but eventually he realised it wasn’t locked. Then he came in and locked it properly.

So she was trapped.

“Now listen….” He began his rant; “Whatever your mother told you…..”

Then he saw her.

“God…. Tom and that Headmaster…. They weren’t kidding. Where were you?”

“Just around the corner.” Joan answered, still as a statue; “I had a headache and fell asleep.”

“You’re bleeding!”

“I left a mess.” Joan held her head; “Please don’t shout anymore.”

“Joan – did Tom show you the files?”

“If you mean from Mum, no.”

Keith grabbed his own head; “Bastard wasn’t lying then.”

“But I do have them.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

He glared; “And you read everything?”

“Yeah.” Joan had the letter behind her back; “Mum was….. Not in a good state.”

“She was released early. Joan… I was finally out of hospital, I felt better. We were together again and everything was at it was.”

“You started beating her again?”

P.C Vicker’s and Tom were now outside the office when the second group joined. Before any words could be exchanged, they heard Joan’s question and all froze.

“No!” Her father sounded appalled; “No! No! No!”

Joan was silent but she must have looked as she was feeling – unimpressed – because her father started screaming:

“I tried! I promised I wouldn’t lay a hand on her again but she made me! Tammie knew when to press my buttons, she knew how to make me angry – what else did she expect when I was pushed?”

Joan didn’t respond.

“Answer me! What else did she expect?”

“Maybe that nothing she was going to do would make you stop.” Joan’s voice was calmer than she felt; “Maybe she had nowhere else to go and… Hoped you’d be better? Truly better?”

It was not the answer Keith wanted; “Why are you taking her side? Do you not remember the many times she tried to kill you? How many times she’s try to drown you? That time she stabbed you?”

“Everyone can hear you.” Joan mumbled, her arms as crossed as they could be – her shoulder was hurting almost as badly as her head.

He didn’t hear her; “She would lock you outside in the rain or snow until I came home from work! I was the one who got you out there – I put you in this fine school – and you still treat me like I’m the enemy?!”

Tom banged on the door; “Keith! Open the door!”

“I’m talking to my daughter!” Keith shouted back.

Joan stayed quiet.

“She does know when to stay quiet.” Juno couldn’t help but say; “She must be frightened to death in there.”

“Juno” Gladys was serious; “Shut up.”

“Why do you think badly of me? Huh?” Keith got close, “What did I do?”

“Mr Miller, we have police coming to knock down the door if-”

“Answer me!” Her father’s voice covered Ebony’s Dad’s.

“She…. Wasn’t the only one who did bad things to me. In her case, it was just easier to have someone that was safe for her to vent at all her…. You know. You took what money she made from her jobs into your bank account and you made her tidy all day. I used to hear you beating her in your room almost every night. Things like that make people think things or do bad stuff-”

“Don’t.” His finger was in her face. “Don’t blame me for what was going on.”

Those outside could see him.

A lot of the crowd – even some in the committee felt frightened.

“I blame you both really.” Joan admitted; “Gran probably should have alerted someone to get you both away from each other-”

“My mother saved your life – do not speak ill of her!”

“You told mum that day that she was lucky a whore like her had someone like you to take care of her. And that I would grow up to hate her and I wouldn’t cry if you pushed her off a bridge.” Joan’s eyes stayed on his face; “I heard you from the bathroom. Then you slammed the door and she came in – sat on the bath and cried. I asked why were you being mean to her. She said you weren’t. She said she was a bad mummy and I didn’t deserve her. Ad yes, she tried to drown me but I know it wasn’t because she was a bad person. You’re…. whatever you did to make her frightened yet dependent on you…. You did that to her. And to me.”

“And you know all that because…..?”

“I’ve been getting therapy. I probably need it for a while. Especially after today.”

“Mr Miller, I’m going to ask you one more time!” P.C Vicker’s called.

“Let me see those files.” Her father now demanded.

“They’re for my eyes.” Joan shook her head; “I’m sure you have your own.”

“What did she say to you? I know she sent you a letter – she planned all this! She put an insurance on her life and everyone she had goes to you!”

“I’m surprised she managed to keep things that were hers…. Considering.” Joan turned away and looked out, ignoring the crowd.

He saw it; “Give me that!”

“You’ll only do something stupid-”

Keith let his feelings yet again control what sense he had. As he grabbed his daughter and tried to pull the letter from her hand, he heard the door be forced open so he quickly grabbed the knife which had been hiding in his pocket – grabbed his daughter by the hair and pulled her close;

“Give it now!”

“Mr Miller,” P.C Vicker’s did his best to hide his fear; “I’m asking you to drop the knife and let go of your daughter.”

“Waste of time.” Joan couldn’t help it, despite her father’s angry pull.

“Give it!”

She did. And she felt his grip loosen so she pulled away.

“Joan” Tom beckoned her to come to the door.

She didn’t move. She just watched her father read the letter her mother had written.

Her suicide letter.

It seemed an age before he finally just looked up. His anger was gone. Wet with sweat and his face fallen, he stared at the group who had entered the office. Then he looked at his daughter.

“You warned me. I should have listened. You were always right.” He held back a sob as he noticed Tom; “This kid Tom – she used to throw herself between me and her mother. She do what ever her mother was supposed to….. She did what she could to protect her mother, even when that same woman used to…. Beat her, give her shocks, not feed her…. I thought if I sent her away, I’d have done some good. And that bitch put me in hospital and our child has a whole Island against her.” He looked at Joan; “And you didn’t tell anyone about this? Not Tom? Not even the person doing your therapy?”

Joan silently shook her head.

“At least you’re capable of doing something stupid. You should have told someone. Now they’re all standing around feeling foolish. Would you know how that feels like?”

“Everyday of my life.” Joan mumbled; “Can I have that back?”

“Keith.” Tom was begging; “Drop the knife and go with the police. No one is angry with you-”

“I am.”

Joan’s blunt statement made her father shake; “None of what she said is true! I didn’t touch her! We swore we’d start again! We would fight to have you spend the holidays with us we…..”

“I’m sure you meant your promise, but it didn’t last did it?” Joan asked, her voice a little too calm for comfort.

“No.” He admitted it; “No it didn’t.”

He tore up the letter.

Those in the room saw something change in Joan’s face.

Joan forgot her Dad was there.

She forgot everyone in the room.

She certainly didn’t remember the people outside who could hear everything.

Her father saw the change in her face; “She did this to herself. Don’t blame me-”

Joan rushed forward and tried to pick up the remains.

“Joan.” Her father grabbed her arm; “Joan!”

“I want mum.” Joan mumbled, her mind felt like it was tearing itself apart. All she could feel was somehow, her mother had been torn away from her.

“She did this to herself!” Keith yelled; “She-”

He felt a grip on his wrist and attacked.

Tom just couldn’t handle it anymore and had grabbed his best friends wrist that held the girl. Keith slashed him in the face, grabbed Dr Brookes chair and threw it at Officer Vicker’s.

Joan seemed oblivious of the chaos around her.

Keith noticed; “Joan. Joan!”

No response.

“I broke it….” They heard him grunt; “I broke the kid.”

Before Ebony’s father could do anything, Keith grabbed the chair again and threw it at the large window.

Glass shattered.

Joan’s mind woke up and she turned just in time to see her father jump.

Then she saw Tom almost ran after him but stop at the edge.

The window had been smashed right in the middle, taken most of the glass off.

Joan – despite the pain in her head and shoulder, got up – the remains of her letter in her hands and joined Tom.

“No, no,” Tom tried to pull away; “Please.”

“I don’t mind.” Joan’s voice was still quiet, "I... I know I shouldn't have made myself known - or let him know where I was but.... I didn't want someone getting hurt. I know....knew what he could do."

Tom felt like a failure.

“Joan?” Dr Vicker’s was gentle; “Shall we go for a walk?”

“No.” Joan was focussed on the remains of her letter; “Someone hit me in the head and I think I have concussion. My shoulder really hurts too so I need to see a nurse or other doctor.”

Tom tried again, “Get away from the ledge-”

Joan looked at the paper; “It need fixed-”

“I’ll fix it” He held her hands; “I promise.”

Dr Brookes now entered.

Joan looked at him; “I don’t think…. In good conscious, I should remain on the team-”

“In good conscious, I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about it until you’ve rested. Tom, just pull her away – Dr Vicker’s can you take over – teachers need to deal with students – Miss Vicker’s, despite your fight, I won’t suspend you but your on your last warning. One more, and your off the team.”

“Yes sir.” Ebony said, her mind on Joan who was taken out of the room by her mother. She helped Dean hold an agitated Jim back before they were told to go to their rooms.


	29. A Quiet Aftermath

The next place Joan remembered waking up was on Tom and now Sarah's bed.

Her headache wasn't quite gone but it was clearer.

And her her right arm was in a sling.

She couldn't remember the next three days after what her father had done - she was in and out of conscious yet couldn't remember anything - so she wasn't quite sure why she had a sling or why Sarah was sitting next to her while a local doctor and the school nurse were in the same room. 

Old lady Lanaka was in the same room too.

It was she who noticed Joan was awake; "Oh!"

Joan felt everyone's eyes again.

"We didn't wake you did we dear? I'm so sorry!"

Dear?

"Joan?" she heard Sarah's voice; "Can you talk to us?"

"Um...Yeah." Joan answered, "My arm is.... funny."

"You have a broken collar-bone. When you were attacked in the gym. That Wade boy not only gave you a concussion but he threw you off the ring."

It all came back to Joan; "Is my letter ok?"

Lanaka gave it to her; "Tom fixed it. Well he and Alaric did. They're at Ravenhall just now."

Joan didn't ask about her Dad. Part of her wanted too but she really didn't want to give him anymore notice.

It was a bit odd but nice to have Lanaka fussing over her like she was an ordinary Grandmother. She was nothing like the strict yet caring Gran who had raised her but Joan was mature enough to understand she couldn't play favorites - even if Lanaka had decided to only get involved in her life now. 

She stayed in Tom's private rooms for three days. Her headaches were still frequent but she was getting restless so when no one was around, she sneaked out to go back to the office.

Jim, Ebony and Dean weren't there but she didn't mind. She sat back at her desk and stared at the window. She felt at peace at peace for once.

She still wasn't sure what the hell had happened but it was wonderful not to worry about either parent anymore. Even if that meant they were gone.

Mum was at peace and Dad couldn't hurt anyone else.

She heard something drop to the floor and looked up to see Sarang's surprised little face.

"Sorry!" She picked up some books; "I didn't know you were back. Ebony told me to put this....." She dropped the books again and rushed towards the deputy head girl, pulling her to a gentle yet energetic hug; "I was really worried!"

Joan wasn't sure what to say; "Still have a headache.... Where is she?"

"There's a Court meeting. Should I tell them your here?"

"If you want." Joan wanted some more time alone; "But I'm going for a walk. Also Miss Ramsey doesn't know I'm out."

"I.... I don't want you to get into trouble."

"I'm sure I'm in enough anyway. Just tell them you saw me. I'm going to go outside."

It was kind of a quick decision but at least there was less chance on talking to anyone or getting caught.

"Please stay safe!" Sarang called as Joan left.

Joan ignored that startled janitor who usually demanded permissions to be out and she stoos at the entrance doors.

Above her was the Headmaster's office. 

She was standing where her father fell.

There was no way he could have survived.

She saw the grass was now muddy thanks to the students boots and the gates were nearly built. And painted. It looked nice.

But then she noticed a car.

"Miller?"

She turned to see a very surprised Gladys Hillman.


	30. Talks

"Hi." Joan felt nothing. Not even fear. That was weird even to her.

Gladys was pulled a giant suitcase but she dropped it and sprinted over; "What are you doing here? They told me you were....."

Joan shrugged; "I was. Still have a headache."

Gladys didn't respond. But there was no smirk on her face.

"You're leaving then?"

"Yeah." Gladys nodded; "My Uncle talked Dr Brookes into a suspension but I've told him I don't want to do my final year. There's no point in me staying if.... You know. All I@m doing is breaking rules."

"Are you going to be safe?"

Gladys frowned; "From......?"

Joan just looked at her with a serious face.

Gladys felt uncomfortable; "I'll find somewhere to live. I'm not staying with Ron he..... They arrested him. I told Officer Vicker's what he did and..... I told the committee what I did. With the phone. I uh.... Figured I should leave you alone."

Joan looked worried; "People will hate you."

"People hate me anyway Joan. But four years on has probably made it easier for me than it has been for you. My Uncle won't be writing stories about me in the press anyway. People will forget my name soon enough."

"That's what they told me four years ago."

"Well, you have a talent of making yourself noticed."

"Or I'm just unlucky."

Gladys bit her lip; "I'm sorry about what happened. We could hear everything your Dad was saying. I didn't know it was your mum that...."

Joan's eyes went cold; "I don't want to talk about it."

"Yeah." Gladys understood; "I guess I should just say I'm sorry for being an ass."

Joan didn't respond.

The car in the driveway beeped heavily so Gladys picked up her suitcase. Joan saw a few members of the gang - Ruby, Millie and Rebecca give her a hug. There was no sign of Beau or Juno. Blair certainly wasn't there and the others....

She watched Gladys leave with just a nod to her. Homolka didn't even look her way as the car had to reverse near her and then leave.

"Shouldn't you be locked up with the other mad people Miller?"

Joan looked over at Ruby - who was suddenly thrown to the ground by Millie.

"Your brother's trash!" Millie declared; "And so are you!"

Then she and Rebecca walked away.

Ruby got up, glared at Joan.

Joan just stared.

Ruby began to cry and she ran off.

Something suddenly didn't feel quite right.

Sarang burst into the court meeting; "Jim! Ebony!.... Joan's out - she said....."

"Wait, what?" Ebony was about to tell the young girl off but her words had got everyone's attention.

"She's outside!" Sarang got her breath back; "She has a sling on, she said she.... she snuck out."

"Court's cancelled!" Jim shouted and rushed out.

"Jim!" Dean called out but everyone was following their Head Boy.

Joan wasn't quite sure how her slow body managed to suddenly end up right outside the Memorial Building but here she was.

She had no desire to go in. Not even to pay her respect to her family. She did not want to see any dead bodies.

She heard something that sounded like thunder heading her way.

It hurt her head.

She whimpered quietly and sat down on the grass, holding her head.

Then she heard a gentle echo of someone calling her name.

She opened her eyes to see Ebony who touched her unhurt shoulder; "Hey, we found you. You're ok."

Joan noticed she was surrounded by the Court. And Sarang who now had Ivy and Sam with her.

"We saw you talk to Gladys!" Sam got excited; "And she said sorry!"

No one paid him any attention as Jim bent down to Joan's level; "Hey."

The confused and frightened look Joan had on her face disappeared as she heard his voice; "How.... is Sophie?"

"Better. Much better. She was asking for you." Jim replied. He couldn't help but smile in both gratitude and relief.

"I'll get a teacher" Gail whispered to Ebony who nodded in agreement. Gail gestured to Darci and Jasmine who followed her.

"We need to get you inside ok?" Jim did his best to sound casual; "We can talk in private?"

"You.... Were trapped somewhere....." Joan was remembering the gym; "I heard lots of banging and you were crying."

Jim felt a lump; "Dean, Ebony and I were trying to get out. We couldn't see anything but we heard everything. Madison showed us the footage. And I..... I saw the blood where you had bee before....."

"I wasn't sure how to explain.... Why I didn't fear those guys.... My Dad was the scariest person I knew. Gladys.... Ron could do nothing to much but annoy me."

"You're braver than a lot of us."

Joan ignored his praise; "Shouldn't have made you worry....."

"Miss Miller."

Gail and the others had returned. With Dr Brookes.

Jim and Dean helped Joan up while Ebony quickly brushed away the grass stains.

"I have a very worried Miss Ramsey looking for you. What are you doing out here?"

"I don't know sir." Joan sounded defeated; "Thinking."

"About what?"

Joan looked at the ground; "..stuff...."

Brookes nodded at Gail; "Thank you for alerting me. All of you leave Miss Miller with me, we're going to have a chat."

Jim noticed Joan look at him with alarm and then turn away. She didn't want him to leave but didn't have the words.

"I'll find you when I can ok?" Jim promised, giving her hand a squeeze before rushing off with the others.

Brookes wasn't as gentle as the students; "Miller, I'm now convinced you truly have a talent of finding yourself in the most unlikely of situations. The last few days have caused me a lot of stress and anxiety which I thought would never be topped from four years ago. You really out did yourself."

Joan felt some relief that he was still talking to her like her Headmaster. At the same time....

She grit her teeth; "I cannot take responsibility for my parents actions. How many times must I say this?"

Brookes toned his voice down; "I can't promise you won't be saying that anymore. But you will hear less nonsense from the committee. Tom and Alaric are seeing to that."

"I haven't seen Tom since....."

"Lord Cross is doing an investigation. Alaric is representing your Grandmother while Tom is representing you. It's nothing to worry about but we're hoping to have your name cleared and a further ban on Homolka coming anywhere near this school."

"He was in the driveway."

"And that will be the last I'll see of him near my school."

Joan remembered her badge; "Do you.... Want me to resign?"

The Headmaster looked at her; "For what reason?"

"Bringing.... unwanted attentions......?"

"Miss Miller, when I made you Deputy Head Girl, I already knew I would get unwanted attention. But what you did three days ago - you went far and belong the call of duty. You probably saved a few lives by pressing that button and distracting your father-"

"I didn't know he was out of hospital."

"Tom didn't either."

"He wouldn't. They gave me all the files and letters."

"And you never gave him them?"

"No. Didn't want any worry."

"He's going to have to worry now Joan." Brookes became firm; "You need him and others who care for you in your life. Understand?" Once he got a nod, he felt satisfied; "Now I'm going to walk you to Miss Ramsey and your going to promise you'll stay indoors until your headache at least, is gone."

"Sir... When are you going to thrash me for the broken camera?"

Brookes shook his head; "Homolka will no longer be a problem. And I highly doubt Sarah and Tom will feel the need to reprimand you. Right now, you need to rest for the end of term concert."

Joan felt herself die a little when he said that.

The end of term concert.

The worst concert of the year.


	31. More Tears

Joan didn't return to her regular school life for another week.

She still had frequent headaches but she was given the all clear - so long as she didn't do any exercises or do anything that caused high anxiety.

Her arm was still in a sling. The injury wasn't as severe as feared so it was a long wait for the bone to heal.

Jim had ordered the Court not to talk to Joan about what had happened and it was agreed that anyone talking about the incident would be reprimanded. Not punished, not told to change the subject. It was agreed that if she wanted to talk about it, here would be no questions.

Dr Vicker's offered more counselling and despite Sarah and Tom's pleas, Joan didn't go. Ebony was aware of this but wasn't sure if she should press her friend into doing something that was good for her but she didn't want to do. 

In fact, Joan noticed that no one really seemed to talk to her anymore. 

Not even Jim.

Even when it was just her and the team, no one asked her how she was or talked about mundane things anymore. They would just say "hi". Any meetings, she was no longer asked her opinion. She was just there.

Like it was before.

"No one is talking to me."

Tom was alone with Joan in his room; "They probably don't know what to say right now. Give them time."

"For what?"

Tom his his face in his dish washing; "People aren't sure what to say when they know someone going through a hard time."

"They did for four years. What changed?"

"Suddenly it was very real."

Tom heard Joan swear under her breath but let it slide; "Things won't get back to normal quickly Joan."

"They're not going to get back to normal."

Tom didn't know what to say; "I wish I could give you the right answers."

Joan decided the next morning that she would have to take matters into her own hands.

It was the final Court meeting before rehearsals for the End of term performance. That meant it would be the last time everyone in court would be together.

Joan arrived first and waited.

Gail entered and almost looked down and turned to face the window when she saw Joan at her seat.

"Something wrong?" Joan watched her carefully.

"Um.... Just a bit sad. Next term is my last......"

Gail saw Joan's face.

"Are you ok? You still have your sling?"

"No one but yourself has really talked to me since my Dad threw himself out a window. I feel better now though." Joan shrugged; "How is the Chess Guild?"

Gail didn't need to be told what to do. As the others entered, she made them join her conversation with Joan. No one asked questions but Joan did her best to ease the tension by showing interest in their lives. Some still felt awkward but most seemed ok. Susan was especially great to talk to - joking about Ebony. Joan was glad to hear that despite Ebony's complaining - she and Susan were going strong.

Jim, Ebony and Dean then entered and before she could talk to them, the meeting had started.

Most of it was just details about who was helping out in rehearsals and then who was performing in the concert.

Then it came to the tradition of the team's speeches.

Joan knew from her four years that all four members gave a short speech talking about the school and thanking them.

"Only myself and Ebony will be doing the speeches this year." Jim told the group; "We agreed as a group that it was for the best."

Joan frowned; "I'm sorry?"

Jim hadn't expected Joan to speak up; "Um.... Well me, Ebony and Dean already knew you wouldn't want to talk so-"

"Actually, I would like to."

Joan was not letting him get away with that.

Jim felt fear; "Joan, we don't want-"

"Haven't we broken enough traditions for my sake already?"

We saw the worry on her team member's faces. Then everyone else's.

"Jesus Christ guys" Joan was disappointed; "Can you all stop worrying about me?"

"We don't want to do anything that.... Might cause problems...." Dean didn't know what to say.

"For what?"

No answer.

"If you're worried about my speech, I can go over it during rehearsals with Father Cameron. If you still don't trust me, I'll go over it with the three of you. Just don't leave me out in decisions anymore ok?"

Joan was acting calm, but it was clear to Jim she was annoyed. More than annoyed.

He wanted to punch himself; "Yeah I.... I'm sorry. I just don't want anything bad happening to you."

"Right now - everyone seems afraid to talk to me. Before I - you know - start of the year.- I was used to it - now I don't know if I can cope without anyone talking or - being ignored again." Joan was biting her fingers; "Can't anyone just forget what happened? I'm ok. I want to - carry on like its not a big deal."

No one knew what to say.

"We'll let you speak." Jim said.

"Jim-" Dean spoke up.

"There isn't any point wasting our time worrying. This has been a strange year for everyone. We can at least do the concert without worrying for each other."

"You still have to listen and watch us locals sing and dance." Ebony said with an added cringe.

"Can't wait." Susan responded with a smile.

Jim later found the Deputy Head Girl in their office. Ebony and Dean had cleared their desks but she hadn't.

"Do you need help?"

She nodded; "Yeah. One arm is hard." 

"I uh.... I'm sorry I didn't - you know, reach out as I could have. Everyone said I would only make things worse-"

"You worried about me. I know that. That's good enough for me. I just don't want silence anymore."

"Do you want to.... Talk about it?"

Joan half froze; "Yes and no."

"Take your time."

"I uh....."

It was suddenly very hard for Joan to talk.

Jim stopped what he was doing and took her hand. He didn't say anything.

"I didn't mean it if... I sounded angry in there...."

"I think I was the only one who noticed you were frustrated. You had every right to be."

Joan swore; "Yeah just.... Need to remember it's ok for people to care about me."

"It's not as if you were used to it before."

Jim knew that was blunt.

"No."

She thankfully didn't mind.

"What happened with your Mum? And those files?"

"Basically.... those files should have gone to Zimmerman but she wanted me to see it. I read them the day before what happened in the gym. Dad uh.... Well Mum got out of prison early on good behavior and Dad stopped his medication - he was still in and out of hospital but he was back doing his old plumbing job. For some reason, they got back together. And it went wrong. All over again."

"Did you say anything to you?"

"I was afraid to open the letter at first. I should have read it before the files but I didn't. I read how she died. But then I told myself I owe her some time in my thoughts - I had done so much to ignore that part of my life so I.... It wasn't bad."

Her fist clenched in his hand despite her calm voice.

"Basically.... Told me she was sorry. Sorry she hurt me. Let her emotions get the better of her and allowed Dad to manipulate her. Said she hoped that I was happier where I am and.... If her death gave some peace of mind for everyone, she hoped I'd remember her fondly."

"Do you?"

"Yes. And no." She gave a chuckle; "The woman once stabbed me and attempted to drown me. Apart from that, I knew she loved me. She used to take me to her wrestling shows. One of the walls was covered in pictures of us together - she was surrounded by fans and her friends who.... She put them in the files for me. When she was away from Dad, she was my mum. With him, she was either a shadow - fearing for her own life and yet a monster to me."

"I wondered how you are a great fighter."

"I know she wanted me to take up the sport. But I don't know my own strength and.... Seeing your Mum getting hurt in real life causes.... I can't enjoy any sport with fighting in it anymore. Even wrestling. Wrestling just makes me miss her. Or that side of her."

Jim could only hold her hand.

"She then said Dad had threatened to come and hurt me if she ever disappeared and she said it was a risk but - she wanted to go and she knew I'd be protected. Shame about the timings huh?"

"Yeah."

"Dad found her in their cupboard. She's put some photos she had hidden from him or just her and me - put her favorite ones on the wall. She used the same belt my Dad would beat us with - strangle her too. She didn't suffer though. He clearly did. I should... probably ask how much I need to pay for the window."

"The Council paid for it."

"What about Dad?"

"I'm not sure."

"It's not fair to leave him with Tom. If I do get any ashes - probably throw it in the sea or down the toilet. Maybe down the sink - he also used it on me." She smiled at him; "You see why I never worried about Hillman or her Gang? They never took it too extreme until.... Must have pissed them all off somehow. What happened to Blair?"

"He's still in the school. Brookes had him caned but he did possibly save you. I'll give him that."

"I need to thank him. Maybe Juno as well. People can change their behavior - it takes strong people to admit they were wrong and try to change. Mum tried and tried and in the end, I think she won. And Dad just got weak."

"I'm I the first person to hear you talk of this? What about Ebony's Mum?"

"She knew things but I quickly realized she was telling Tom and Miss Ramsey. I wasn't ready for them to know so I've been.... Using the sessions mostly to talk about school problems. She's very nice. We did talk about my Gran - and Lanaka -suddenly I can't go a day without a text message from her saying to have a good idea. Feels nice, if weird. But I - I talked about.... You know. What was going on with these lies about the phone call and everything.... Getting scared of losing my friends.... And you."

Jim took a deep breath; "I care very much about you Joan. I can't promise much, but I've grown to care about you almost as much as my sister. I suck at it but I truly wanted to keep you safe. And I want you to stay safe."

Joan said nothing.

Jim let go and wiped his eyes; "Shit... God I shouldn't be the one crying."

"I can't really hug you sorry" Joan felt bad; "I can.... hold your shoulder?"

Jim wanted to laugh but then he suddenly let out a burst of tears.

Joan felt a moment of panic but quickly calmed down. She did indeed took his shoulder and when he doubled over, she did the best hug she could do - their heads together as their knees met the floor.

Dean entered and saw this. Joan's dry eyes saw him and she gestured to the door. She knew Jim would be mortified if someone - even if it was Dean - saw him like this.

Dean gave her a very serious thumbs up and silently left. He stood guard a few yards away from the door where he couldn't hear what was going on, but could stop anyone coming near.

Jim slowly recovered; "I know how you felt in that old shed. Even though I know you won't mind.... It's embarrassing."

"At least it's not cold." Joan replied; "And at least your not crying over something selfish."

"Hopefully there's no kid to save either." Jim wiped his eyes; "His Dad is doing a big donation thing for the Court party at the end of the concert. It's the only thing I'm looking forward to."

"It's only two hours of Mithridates propaganda." Joan joked; "Apparently I'm local now - I have to endorse it."

"Do you really want to talk? Give a speech?"

Joan looked at him.


	32. A Text

"Are you quite sure?"

Dr Brookes asked that question to Joan in front of the Court.

It was four weeks before the end of term concert and the team and Court were in rehearsals with the Headmaster.

Clarifloors had a huge theatre but for the end of term, traditionally, it was always at the church. So for now, the theatre was merely rehearsal space.

"Yeah" Joan was distracted by the lights. She was good in drama class but the spotlights were always her worse enemy.

The court were in the audience while the team were on stage with Dr Brookes. The Court had just rehearsed some speeches that weren't yet finished and Brookes was mostly there to observe and not make notes.

The only thing he seemed concerned with was Joan.

"Miss Miller, while the school is used to your tone, the community is not. Whatever you plan to say, you must be careful you don't come across as bored."

"I will be nervous."

"That doesn't give me pause to relax but at least your still being honest." He turned to Gail, "Make sure that's in the speech - Miller's honesty was something to behold."

"Is that bad?" Joan whispered to the other team.

"I can't tell." Dean admitted. He felt unusually nervous.

Ebony decided to spare Joan from the spotlight; "Sir, when do we plan to go and rehearse at the church?"

Brookes sighed; "When Shaw and Saxon are happy. You know from experience how long that takes."

"Shaw" was the primary school's Headteacher and "Saxon" was the teacher for the "older" kid - from 10 to 12. Shaw was respected but very strict while Saxon was not well liked by the children in the community. Not many locals in Clarifloors remembered her fondly.

"I've never seen Mrs Saxon happy" Ebony said.

"Another local not fond of her?" Brookes clearly felt the same; "She told me the other day you gave her lip on your final day. Shaw caned you before you went on stage."

Ebony smiled; "It was worth it sir."

"Don't make me to the same please. We've all had enough drama for one year." Then he smiled; "Though if you do plan to make that old bag's life a little difficult, I wouldn't mind."

"I knew there was something I liked about you sir." said Dean, grinning wildly.

Suddenly, a wild Mr Read appeared and he was white.

"Sir, it's urgent."

Brookes gave him a glare but followed quickly.

"So much for no drama." Jim muttered; "Do you think he'll need us?"

"Probably me." Joan answered bluntly but with an added sigh.

Everyone just went quiet.

Ebony decided to take charge; "Right uh.... Let's just go over what we're all going to say-"

Joan felt a vibration in her pocket and pulled out her mobile.

Ebony bit her tooth in frustration; "Is it about you?" She sighed; "shit".

Joan was silent.

But her face told the whole story.

"Is it bad?" Darci and the other prefects started to get on stage.

"Gladys Hillman just text me." Joan put her phone in her pocket; "I'll be back when I can."

"We need to rehearse Joan." Gail said pathetically,

"I'll improvise."

"Joan-" Jim took a step towards her.

"I need to do things. I'll be back when I can, I promise."

And Joan left.

She hid herself in one of the girl's toilets for some privacy to really read the text.

Gladys's own phone was barred from Joan's phone but she always used other phones to try and reach Joan - usually to send threats. She had done little this year because of Zimmerman's strong arm and anger.

For once, it wasn't one of Hillman's nonsense. Or at least, not one she usually sent.

She left quickly - out of the school.

There was Hillman in Homolka's car. Hillman was in the backseat but when she saw Joan, she came out; "I'm sorry Joan. But I swear this isn't a lie."

"Where is it?" Joan didn't want to stick around.

Gladys went to the boot and opened it; "My Uncle has always been an arsehole but this was just... I don't know sick." She gave Joan a large yellow case that was big enough for Joan to carry on her own; "You can have the case by the way."

"Is it stealing?"

"He stole from you first."

"Why is he here?"

"You don't want to know. I just hope Brookes punches him. Or better, Zimmerman. You better go and hide."

"Thanks." Joan meant it.

Joan went to her old room and put the case under the bed. Then she took it out and opened it.

Yes.

Gladys had not lied.

She put the case back under the bed and returned to the theatre.

"Sorted?" Gail asked. The other court members were on stage rehearsing a song.

"Not yet." Joan admitted.

Jim and the rest of the team agreed not to ask her yet what the hell was going on.


	33. A crucifix

Rehearsals went on without any more incident. Though Dr Brookes returned with a very serious and angry face.

After it was all done, Brookes told Joan that Miss Ramsey needed to see her.

"About Homolka?" Joan asked.

Everyone froze to listen.

"I hoped to keep this private Miller." Brookes said.

"Nothing about me is private. No thanks to that man."

The Headmaster sighed; "Yes it's about him."

"Joan got a text sir" Jasmine spoke up; "She left rehearsals for a while."

Brookes looked at Joan.

Joan was clearly not happy she had been told on; "Gladys texted me and told me what was going on."

He went pale; "Ah.... So you know?"

"He doesn't have it anymore."

He went even paler.

"Joan?" Jim voiced everyone elses confusion.

Joan was blunt; "My mum's ashes and belongings got taken by the committee. Something about it being "Island interests." Gladys gave them back. I don't know if he knows what's she's done but I'm not given them back."

"Joan." Brookes voice was quiet; "You've only gone and got yourself in more harms way."

"Story of my life sir. But I can't allow my mum to be handled by a man with reported aggression - she had that done to her in life. I can't allow it to happen in death." 

The Headmaster didn't respond.

"I'll let Miss Ramsey know what I've done. I don't think it will do you or the school any good to fight for my case - you've done more than enough for me."

"He stole from you though." Jim spoke up; "Surely we can point that out?"

"I should at least try to speak for myself. And I don't want the school to get into any more trouble on my behalf, I'll represent myself."

They all felt a presence and saw Zimmerman and Miss Ramsey at the doors.

They had heard everything.

"I'm sorry Tom - Sarah" Brookes looked defeated; "I could only send him away and say the school's response would be that what he had done was inexcusable and we are on her side."

"That's all you can do." Joan said, "I'll turn myself in once he realizes what's happened. Maybe give him back his chest. We need to give Mum to Gran - I think she'd want that."

Tom hid his frustration and fear well; "Well let's do that now - Miss Ramsey can talk to Lanaka and I'll drive you down."

"Maybe drop off the chest outside Homolka's house or something." Joan added; "I suppose if we don't do anything else that could upset the committee..... Or is there a law I broke?"

"Once something is claimed from the outside, it's there's. I don't know if there's been an incident like this where what was claimed din't belong to them. In their eyes, Homolka didn't steal. But you did." Miss Ramsey explained; "But the fact Homolka came into the school to gloat about it won't put him in good graces with the rest of the committee. My biggest worry however.... What they will they do to you."

Silence.

Joan sighed; "Nothing as bad as what's already been done to me or what I've seen. Can we go then?"

Lanaka and Alaric were surprised to see Joan and Tom together - usually Sarah would be the one to come with Joan to their visits.

Tom had to explain what had happened as Joan gentle laid out Tammie's belongings - a small handmade crucifix, a hairbrush and three books on some old series. Then the ashes itself in a nice looking box. Sealed thankfully.

Lanaka just stared at the belongings; "This was..... All she had?"

"She had more books but they were ripped up by him." Joan responded.

Tom hid his eyes.

"And Roald claimed all this?" The old woman was showing her anger.

"Gladys told me and gave me them back."

"Surely that's enough to get Joan out of trouble? Lanaka turned to Alaric.

"I don't even know with this committee." Alaric said; "Perhaps the'll be lenient but..... On the one hand, they can't let her get away with this but on the other, it will cause unrest."

"Unrest?" Tom asked.

"More and more of the community sympathize with the girl" said Alaric, "Joan has shown a lot more dignity than the committee and the community has slowly but surely realized the injustice of what happened."

"Or maybe the committee has shown more than once that it is incompetent"

"Both I suspect." Alaric looked at Joan who was not listening; "We can put pressure on Riando to lesson the punishment - but I don't know what else we can do."

Tom felt defeated as he watched Lanaka hold her daughter's crucifix and cry. Joan watched on, unmoved.

Homolka was standing outside his door when Tom - telling Joan to stay in the car - brought his his case.

"You'll be hearing about this." He didn't sound or look angry. He looked very pleased with himself.

Tom noticed Gladys was watching from her window but he stayed silent. He went back to the car, and drove off.

"Did he know what was in the case?" Joan asked.

"Brookes said he didn't mention about the ashes. He knew it was for you though and that's bad enough."

"You.... Understand why I did that?"

"Yes. That doesn't mean I wish you just ignored that text."

"I couldn't leave her with them."

"I know." Tom sighed; "Just let us deal with it Joan. We'll get you out of this."

He failed to sound convincing.

Joan made up her mind.


	34. Rehearsals

Joan didn't really have a plan set but she knew she was in hot water. All she could do - in her own mind - was listen and figure out what was going on. And to not just accept "everything was being dealt with".

Rehearsals were now being held at the church itself. The team watched the local primary school do a few songs and dance choreography.

Dean was unimpressed; "Singing and dancing about Mithridates greatness. Am I in North Korea or back in America?"

"All countries make their kids do this" said Ebony; "Although thankfully, my class all had two left feet so I never danced."

"Thank God for that."

Ebony resisted punching him. Mrs Saxon - her old primary school teacher - was right in front of them and she still felt a sense of fear being near her.

Joan wasn't paying much attention to the rehearsals despite Dr Brookes being there and Father Cameron attempting to coach the team in projection and where to stand with the mics. With everything that had happened, no one really wanted to yell at or tell her off. Jim did his best to get her on track but even he couldn't stop whatever was distracting her.

Eventually they were allowed to watch the rest of rehearsals or leave. Jim had decided to leave and practice his Head Boy speech back at school. Dean and Ebony decided to watch the primary school kids dance and prepare themselves not to giggle.

Joan just wondered around, thinking about everything.

Her arm was no longer in a sling but she was still not to use it too often. She was glad at least that she could move her arm.

But seeing and holding her mother.....

She didn't know how to feel.

"Theif! Where are you?"

She turned to see Homolka at the church door, pretending to look for her. He was in riding gear with a riding corp in one hand.

And poor Gladys looked mortified next to him.

Joan supposed he was taunting to her.

What was wrong with this guy?

He pretended to find her; "Are you here to confess to the Father? Why are you staring at me like that - you know what you did!"

"Jesus Christ, what's going on?" Ebony felt fear.

The younger kids all looked frightened.

"Just because you have the blood of the Alana's in you - you think you are above the law!"

Brookes almost made his way towards him but Joan suddenly got up from her seat and to everyone's surprise, put herself in front of Homolka;

"You claimed my mother and her belongings. As far as I'm concerned, you are a thief."

"Claim your mother? Nonsense - you stole from me."

"Stop this!" Gladys now rushed in; "I can't take this! This is stupid!"

"I told you to stay home and not follow me! Go and make sure the horse doesn't run off."

"You're looking stupid!"

"Next to her? She ruined your life in that school - don't defend her!"

"Joan spared me from years or ridicule and torment by keeping quiet. The least I could do was tell her where her mother was." Gladys said. 

"I wouldn't have done such a thing to my own niece. And what do you mean her mother -?"

"So why do it to her? It wasn't her fault to begin with. Or do you like picking on the vulnerable - and yes, I know sound like the biggest hypocrite but seriously - you sound like a monster. Like you don't know what your doing is wrong."

Silence.

"Did you know my mum was in there?" Joan asked.

"No." Homolka admitted; "I guessed it was belongings but I didn't realize....."

"You really are an idiot aren't you?"

"And your not helping yourself with..... Comments like that."

"We have rehearsals right now. It's best you leave me alone."

Homolka looked at Brookes who just glared at him.

Mr Shaw and his few teachers didn't look more welcoming. Nor did Father Cameron.

"Uncle please." Gladys begged.

Joan just stared at him silently.

Judging him.

"You're the one who the committee will see as the thief." He said.

"Not the idiot though, that's a bonus."

"Joan!" Gladys tried to warn her enemy.

"Shut up!" Her Uncle yelled at her.

Gladys backed up, visibly frightened.

Joan noticed; "If he's like this at home, you need to leave. That's a mistake I wish I didn't do - just stay and bare it you know? It would have helped-"

Homolka swung at her with his riding crop.

Gladys shrieked and pulled at his arm but it was too late.

Joan held her face for a few seconds before looking up, her eyes even more intense.

Mr Shaw was first there; "Homolka, you have to leave."

Homolka pointed at Joan; "She-"

"Out!" Father Cameron demanded; "You came into the house of the Lord - you came in looking to humiliate the girl, all you've done is humiliate yourself."

"You" Homolka looked at Joan; "I will have you in the docks."

"Uncle please." Gladys begged him once more.

"He's not going to listen to you - they don't listen", Joan said bluntly; "They panic when they know they're wrong and lash out. I know."

Homolka felt a bitter taste in his mouth but thankfully, he just left. 

Gladys didn't follow.

Everyone could see Joan's face was already forming a white line and dark bruising. 

"Miss Miller are you ok?" Dr Brookes forgot his reputation as a stern teacher in front of the little ones.

"No not really." Joan admitted, looking at Gladys; "She shouldn't be near him."

The Headmaster looked at Gladys.

Gladys looked down.

"Miss Hillman, I hope your aware that Miller has shown you a lot of forgiveness for your part in her own misery. That being said, we cannot in good conscious allow you to go back when your guardian has struck a child that is not his. Does he treat you like that?"

"Well he...... Mostly ignores me sir."

"I promised Miss Miller I wouldn't have you back in the school - but I'd rather you were there than in the home your currently in."

Ebony came forward; "Sir that would cause more problems. It's probably best if Gladys either stayed at friends or moved into the hostel. Ron Wade isn't there anymore."

"My friends are still in the school but -honestly it's fine. He doesn't hurt me."

"That's a lie." Joan winced as she touched her face, "Ignoring is worse than the beatings. From my own experience." She suddenly went past Gladys; "I'm going for a walk."

"Joan?" Brookes was confused.

"I'd like to have a think away from people." Joan just said without looking back and closing the door.

Brookes turned to Ebony and Dean who both nodded and ran out to catch up.

But when they opened the door, Joan was nowhere to be seen.


	35. A Plea

Joan did not want to be followed and knowing what her friends would do, she shut the door and slipped behind the church, waiting until the cars and the sounds of children had long disappeared before she came out of hiding.

Her face hurt like hell. She found some racked glass ad used them to check her reflection.

No blood but her looks hadn't been improved.

What a jerk.

But now, she had to concentrate and think.

She already had ideas - a plan - but she wasn't sure if it was worth it.

Now she didn't feel safe. If Homolka could waltz into school and church, she needed to speak to someone else in the committee.

That nice man whose sing almost drowned..... He couldn't really help before and she didn't know anyone else.....

She would have to speak to Lord Riando himself.

Even if the guy was stupid too. 

Joan felt dizzy as she started to walk. She still was having headaches and dizzy spells but they had worn away with time. She hoped Homolka's outburst hadn't given her another one. She needed her brain - as useless as it was.

"Joan?"

Already caught.

But Joan had to look up as it wasn't a young voice of a student or even....

It was Estelle Redpath. One of Lord Riando's servants and a very good friend of Tom's.

Estelle was kind. And she looked very concerned.

And very badly dressed,

"Joan, are you still here? Tom and the others called the police saying you walked away from here." Estelle looked at the wounds; "From one blow?"

Oh God. People already knew.

"I don't want to talk about it." Joan admitted, "I was uh.... thinking about speaking to Lord Cross."

"He's in the church but he's busy. Why don't you stay and watch rehearsals? I'm doing some singing with some of the local women."

Oh. God.

Well, where else could she go?

"Sure." She said.

Estelle put an arm around her and led her inside.

It was packed with servants and locals. No one paid much attention until Father Cameron stopped speaking and rushed over;

"Joan! Thank God you're ok - Miss Redpath, where was she?"

"I just spotted her outside Holy Father" Estelle answered, still holding Joan; "She was walking a bit strangely."

Joan held back some snark.

"What is happening?"

Joan looked and saw Lord Cross and his family.

Plus most of the committee.

Homolka wasn't there. That was a relief. 

Though wasn't his car still out there.....?

"My Lord, Mr Homolka did this" Father Cameron gestured to Joan's face; "He hit her with a riding crop. We then lost Joan for a while but she's come back."

"Roald did that?" Lord Cross's wife stood up and looked closely; "Riando, we can't let this be."

"We'll talk about it later." Her husband said.

"But-"

"Later. I already told him claiming that was a bad idea, now Brookes has yet more grief with us."

"In his defense...." Joan didn't know why she was talking; "He says he didn't know Mum was in the case. Actually there were two people in the case. I'm not sure if Dad knew about that."

They were all staring at her.

Joan had kept her mother's note and learned through that, more details about what had happened between her mother and father.

Details she was still coming to grips with.

She wasn't sure why she just said what she said but then..... Her life wasn't exactly private.

No thanks to Homolka or the committee.

"There!"

Speaking of which - Homolka, now decently dressed marched up to her, only for Father Cameron to out himself between them. Estelle still held her shoulders.

"Homolka, please calm yourself".

It was P.C Vicker's Ebony's father who followed him from whatever room he was in.

"Hello again." Joan couldn't help it. The last time she had seen Ebony's father was when her own was in the school.

"Mr Homolka - can I ask you to please step back." Father Cameron said, "We have children in the room - the young lady has already been through enough and you do not want to disgrace yourself anymore."

Joan looked around for anymore familiar faces. She saw Ebony's siblings in one of the pews watching on.

And then there was Constans Bell.

His father was with the committee and he was awkwardly standing up - wondering if he should get involved,

Estelle yelped in pain as Homolka grabbed her arm.

Joan suddenly reached up, grabbed his own and bit into his wrist.

He screamed.

She was vaguely aware of the church doors opening and P.C Vicker's trying to pull her and Homolka apart. She only did when she tasted blood. Blood was not nice to taste.

Homolka finally moved himself well away from her, holding his wrist.

"Joan." P.C Vicker's tone was full of worry.

Joan noticed the children; "Don't do that."

She then sat on the steps if the staging and seemed to instantly get lost in a daydream.

"You saw that Brookes? You saw what your favorite student did?" Homolka sneered.

Dr Brookes had entered to meet with P.C Vicker's and he was now stunned into silence at what he'd just witnessed.

"She thought he was going to hurt me! That's all!" Estelle was quick to defend; "My Lord, you saw it - we all saw what happened!"

Brookes finally glared at Homolka: "You really don't know when to draw the line do you? It was bad enough you stealing from a girl - let along striking her and then assaulting a maid. Will you write about how the good Christian man had to defend himself against a maid and a disabled girl?"

"No one reads his newspaper."

Everyone turned to Katie Hills.

Katie was one of the kitchen maids in Ravenhall. And one of the only autistic members of the community. She was a little older than Joan.

Mrs Anderson, the cook hushed her.

"But it's true. He's a bully."

Joan had appeared to wake up; "I can make my own way back Dr Brookes."

"My car" Brookes pointed outside and gestured for Joan to come near.

"Brookes" Lord Cross spoke up as Joan moved to her Headmaster.

"My Lord." Estelle's hands were tighter; "Please."

"The girl needs to be somewhere safe Riando." Brookes told him.

"It won't take up your time-"

"Now is not a good time" Brookes became firm; "We will deal with this when we can - preferably not in front of the community or that man. I will not have her in the same room as him."

He gestured to Joan and they both left.

Lord Cross turned to Homolka; "Your membership is suspended."

Homolka seemed shocked; "Riando-"

"Don't talk to me. Leave."


	36. Truths

"Tom and Sarah are going to kill me."

Joan finally spoke in the Headmaster's car.

"They're more concerned there's a mad man on the loose." Dr Brookes answered.

"Nothing I've never dealt with before."

"Dr Vicker's is with them and they're going to have a chat. Your Gran is also there."

"I don't want her involved-"

"That's hardly your decision young lady. It's going to take a lot of convincing for Cross not to have you charged for what you just did."

"He seemed embarrassed enough this time around" Joan said casually; "I was going to try to pull Homolka off her. Nor sure how my teeth got there."

"Between you and me, I'm surprised he was shocked." They had arrived; "Do not speak to the other students I'm taking you straight to Tom's office."

"The others will be worried-"

"They can wait Miller."

Tom saw Chris's car and when he saw Joan he was eager to run out and hold her.

But the Vicker's had told him to remain in his office with Sarah who was doing her best to hide her anxiety. Lanaka was beside herself.

Dr Vicker's had received a call from her husband and shared the information he had given her.

Now they wanted answers.

Brookes told a group of students who were waiting to go away as he escorted Joan away. Joan's face clearly disturbed them all but thankfully, no one laughed.

When she did go into Tom's office and saw his and the other's faces, she understood it looked worse than it felt.

"That.... Horrid man!" Lanaka shook her fist at the sky.

Brookes closed the door behind them; "Joan, take a seat."

"I....."

"Do as he says." Sarah said firmly.

"We just want to talk" Dr Vicker's said; "About today-"

"No." Joan shook her head; "I'm tired."

"Joan." Tom stood up; "You worried us all. And you haven't answered any questions we've been waiting for you to answer. You're not yourself and we want to help you."

Joan was visibly annoyed now. But she calmly went into her pocket and gave Dr Vicker's a letter.

It was Tammie's letter.

Tammie began her letter with a deep apology for what she was to do - begging Joan not to grieve but to understand why she had done it.

She admitted going back to Keith was a mistake. Keith seemed well and improved and soon, they found they were expecting a boy.

But then Keith had started with his "old habits" as she explained and one day, he threw her down a flight of stairs.

Tammie explained that once she got up, she felt terrible pains and contacted a doctor who confirmed she had lost the baby.

That was the biggest of many triggers which had made her decide her drastic decision.

She ended with another apology - this time for ruining Joan's childhood and for the damage she had inflicted.

It was a long letter.

"I don't really want to talk about it." Joan said when she saw everyone had read it; "not just now."

Sarah tried again; "Talking will-"

Joan shook her head, showing a little bit of the pain she was already holding inside.

"There's no need to be brave now. Or to hide anything."

"Why.... Can't this wait?" Joan was pleading; "I don't want to remember, I don't want people to get upset."

"Why would we be?" 

"Because everything I do or about me makes people upset. And I don't know why things happen or I say or do anything - I'm sorry ok? I can't explain why it all happened, I can't talk-" 

"No one is angry with you."

"Why is everyone acting like I'm the one who can explain all this? Please - I just want to go to bed and go to rehearsals."

"You're not going to rehearsals until I'm convinced there will be no problems." Dr Brookes said quietly.

"He came to me first."

"There's no need to play dumb anymore Joan. You are safe. I will make arrangements that that man stays well away from you and other students. Hopefully the young lady will get away from him soon. I can't promise the committee will not charge you or demand a punishment but none of us see you as the instigator. You've had a very bad run of bud luck. All we want is to know what your still hiding. we may not be able to help you but at least we can understand you."

Joan looked over at Tom who had been silent this whole time.

"I'm... sorry." 

Tom shook his head; "No. No I should have seen this coming. I shouldn't have pushed Keith for answers. Perhaps we shouldn't be pushing you like this either."

Everyone was now silent.

"My scar is from Mum. Dad was telling the truth about that." Joan said; "Except he said I was tied to a chair and what not - no. We were in the kitchen and I didn't eat something - something she made - and she just broke down in tears and asked me if I was better off without her. I thought she was asking me was I happier with Gran. I stupidly said yes. And she went pale and then her eyes went crazy. Dad explains it how he came home from work and dived into my rescue but he was there already. He let her go crazy. And then she stopped - he didn't stop her. And she cried and begged me to live. Dad - rather calmly - said she was evil and if I died, she should kill herself. Next thing I remember I was in hospital and he was performing to the nurses. It was bizarre. The whole thing was bizarre."

Still silence.

"I don't know what else to say. You all pretty much know the truth. I don't know why talking about will help you."

"Does it help you?" Dr Vicker's asked.

"No."

"Maybe when your in a better mood, you can speak to me about it all. Alright?" She turned to Dr Brookes; "She's disturbed and still grieving but she's no danger to the other students. As for Homolka, he got himself into that situation."

"Sarah and I will deal with that." Tom said.

"The main problem is if the committee want to take it further. I also hope Estelle didn't lose her job trying to protect the girl. You choose your friends well Tom."

Joan left the room without being asked. She was fed up with it all.

"Alaric and I will try to find out what's going on with the committee" Lanaka promised; "And we'll use our influence to the best we can. Tom, Sarah - I wouldn't discipline the child over this. I hardly think even I would know how to react."

"Joan tends to let us know if she feels her behavior warrants punishment" said Tom; "That's my fault. Early days - told her she had to tell me whatever she did wrong or it would be worse if I found out myself. Keith made her out to be a monster."

"That's not your fault and she has never blamed you" Sarah said.

"If I continue to worry about that, it feels hypercritical for me to tell her not to worry about.... Things that have happened this whole year."

"You know" Brookes spoke again; "Joan has passed all the exams the school has offered. If there's any silver lining - it's that. You should be proud of her."

"Her parents should have been proud" Tom muttered; "Tammie even said so."

"You are her guardian Tom. As much as your unsure of it, she will look to you for some stability. She's a good kid, a very smart one. And she's also made a lot of friends this year. She's been very brave."

"I am proud of her." Tom admitted; "I just want her to be happy."

Joan was in the private living room - the door once again not shutting properly. 

She felt some pain in her chest leave her.

She felt a little bit more in peace.


	37. The Badge

Joan was very quiet when she went back to rehearsals. In her absence, the team had decided not to do any speeches besides the traditional "final court party" afterwards in which Ebony was to talk. None of them felt comfortable with making Joan talk in public - especially if the committee was coming.

For her part, Joan was secretly glad but she still questioned why they didn't message her.

"We didn't know what was happening" Ebony said.

"Fair enough, but I'd rather not be kept out of decisions. I know we won't be a team anymore but this isn't the first time this has happened and I want it to be the last."

No one had asked her about the incident at the church. Joan had pretty much proven she would never give straight answers to difficult subjects - and she certainly was a difficult subject. But no one felt right asking despite their curiosity. Joan had gone through enough, everyone understood that they needed to let her be a normal student when she could.

Dr Brookes stood on the church stage and talked with all four team members about the "removal of office" part of the school's concert. Traditionally, all four members would be given a speech by the Headmaster and ask to remove their badges. 

"Where do we sit afterwards?" Dean asked when questions were called.

"With the other prefects." Dr Brookes responded.

Joan put her hand up.

Those in the church went noticeably quiet.

Dr Brookes did his best not to draw attention to them; "Yes Miller?"

"I wasn't a prefect before I became Deputy Head Girl. Does this mean I need to go and sit with the others students or do I go to the back?"

She meant "backstage".

"You sit with the prefects." Dr Brookes said.

"I never did the vow or get a badge sir. Will that affect..... anything?" Joan knew she was asking a very annoying question and was clearly hesitant to ask it.

Dr Brookes knew she had a point; "It would look better if you sat with the others but.... You know I should have made you do the prefect vow. You're right."

He went quiet as he pondered.

Joan mistakenly thought she had annoyed everyone and felt bad.

"Just go and sit with the others on the prefect pews" Brookes finally spoke up; "I'll deal with the rest."

"I don't want anymore attention sorry."

"You know I completely forgot you weren't a prefect" Jim, later in the teams office, admitted; "Or that I was ever confused you became a deputy without being one. Why did you never sign up to be one?"

Joan was tired from rehearsals but she was in a good mood; "No one talked to me about it and I never thought about it."

"Do you think it could have saved you from Gladys or the others if you did?"

"I don't even think I'd have been accepted really" Joan admitted; "I was busy hiding from people, I didn't care to help them - students or the school in general. You need to do both to be a prefect."

"You're a natural."

"No".

Dean and Ebony had been quietly listening - both exhausted from rehearsals too. Dean finally spoke; "Are you staying on after this year?"

"Yes" Joan said; "Probably until sixth year."

"But what will you do? You've completed every class exam there is."

"I mean it's something to do. I also don't know what I want to do. I'll need to think about. Maybe now that I don't really need to be in class.... I'll have time to join other Guilds."

"That's a good plan" said Ebony, "I know after your performance in the ring with Gladys, people want to see you train."

"No one would fight me" Joan responded, "I'd be too rough".

"You'd also win too much." Dean teased; "And I guess Ferox need you to keep that one trophy in their cabinet so you can't leave the chess guild."

"Maybe I could add more."

"Hey - Obair and Hapus are the main winners."

It was nice for once to talk like normal teenagers - as normal as a micronation student could be.

Joan left the office, tired but in a very good mood and went to Tom's.

Tom was in his office but he was on the phone so all he could do was nod and point at the door.

Joan forgot about the door issue so she heard everything.

"What do you mean Homolka can do this? Didn't Cross message Brooks and tell us he was suspended? Why is there a warrant written up on his behalf?"

Oh shit.

"No. Yes I know she has a good case to avoid punishment but this should ever have been brought up. Hasn't the committee done enough?"

Joan listened carefully and recognized the voice down the phone as Estelle.

Estelle had obviously heard something Tom needed to know.

Which meant she needed to know.

Joan sighed. 

Estelle's voice wasn't very clear but Tom's voice - getting more and more agitated - made it very clear what was going on.

Lord Cross has signed an arrest warrant. For Thievery.

And Tom was angry.

Quite right too.

Joan sat on the sofa once she heard the phonecall stop. Tom didn't say a word to her when he came back. When Sarah came, they talked privatly and Joan could only hear a little of what was said as she pretend to sleep.

Headmaster now knew.

Which meant eventually, everyone would know.

She waited until everything was dark before slowly and carefully making her escape. 


	38. Secret Tunnels

Joan didn't really have a plan once she escaped Zimmerman's rooms and she still wasn't quite sure what she was going to do when she managed to slip out of the school and onto Knocklivet's quiet streets.

Her first thought was to go to Ebony's and turn herself in. Ebony's Dad was the only police officer she knew. 

But then she didn't think standing outside in the cold was worth it.

So she walked to Ravenhall.

She was surprised to see that there was no guards outside. Anyone could break in an enter if they wanted. 

Then again, this was not Manchester. Everyone here knew each other. Trusted each other even.

Her mind wondered back to the maps Alaric showed her - the tunnels and secret passages he and the Doves used.

She looked across at the statue of the infamous Lord Joseph Obair. He smiled kindly at her as she came near.

She took a stick and dug at the moss covering his feet. 

There it was. A manhole. 

She opened it cautiously - it was very heavy - and used her phone as a torch. She saw the iron ladder, old and clearly weak - and wondered if it was safe.

She looked at the mansion then she disappeared down the hole, making sure to close it.

Joan hated the dark and she hated new places even more - but with her phone acting as a torch and her mind acting as a map, she bravely walked down the pitch black corridor until she came to a door she knew led into the staff kitchen.

She had hoped to then go upstairs and find somewhere to sit down.

Instead, she bumped into Katie Hills, one of the kitchen maids.

At first, Katie stared at her but then smiled; "It's a bit early to be here isn't it? 4:44 am - Gail and Gladys are upstairs getting the fireplaces done."

"Gladys?"

"She's that girl who's uncle runs the papers. She's nice."

It was good to hear Gladys had got away from her uncle.

"What are you doing here?" Katie asked; "Is it about the warrant I heard Estelle talking about? Everyone was arguing about it."

"I want to turn myself in.... if I can."

"Thievery's a corporal punishment error - even if most of us think he shouldn't have taken it. I'm sorry about him by the way - Gladys told me some stories. He sounds horrible."

They heard something smash. Then a scream.

And suddenly they weren't alone.

"Mrs King. Enough dramatics!" The woman who was clearly the Housekeeper ordered the screaming woman; "Miss Miller. I don't know why your hear but you better have a good explanation for-"

"She said she wants to turn herself in" said Katie quickly; "She's not here to do anything else."

Joan was too afraid to speak.

The House-Keeper, Mrs Farr, turned to the boot boy; "Go and wake up Estelle." She turned to Joan; "And you - you will do as your told. Understand?"

Joan nodded.

The cook was unimpressed; "There's no need to frighten the child. Joan dear, there's a seat right here-"

"She is not a guest Mrs Anderson" said Mrs King - Lady Cross's lady in waiting.

"Hasn't she already been treated like a criminal for too long? This young lady means no harm."

Before Joan could move, Estelle came running down the stairs followed by a clearly annoyed Mr Brown.

"Joan?" Estelle was shocked; "Tom told me he wasn't going to tell you-"

"He didn't. I heard you both talking."

"You told Mr Zimmerman?" Brown asked Estelle.

"Tom and I are friends. I had to warn him what they were doing - but Joan, why are you here?"

"I figured I'd just make things easier and come here."

Silence.

"Tom doesn't know you knew about this does he?" Brown asked; "Estelle you need to call him. As for you girl, I now have to wake his Lordship and tell him who broke into the mansion."

This was a bad idea.


	39. Sentence

"Joan?"

Gladys had appeared and pushed herself to the front.

She looked very different. She looked exhausted and her uniform was hideous.

But she looked happier. And her voice wasn't as harsh anymore.

"What are you doing here - how did you get in?"

"That's exactly what I'd like to know" Brown said.

"I have a warrant to be here." Joan said, her voice stuttering a little.

"The warrant was bullshit" Gladys said; "Just go home."

"Miss Hillman, watch your language." Mrs Anderson warned.

"My Uncle put it forward because he wants to feel like he won something. And it wasn't thievery - I let her take it. It's not even "it" - it was my mother's ashes."

The return of Gladys's harsh voice made Joan's head hurt.

"What is she doing?"

The servants noticed Joan was holding her head.

"This place is new" said Katie; "And people are shouting."

"You can use my name" Gladys hissed. 

"What do we do sir?" asked one of the footmen to Mr Brown.

Brown went over; "We should probably put her somewhere where she won't run off".

Joan felt someone grab her arm and she sank. Whoever grabbed her shook her. She didn't know who it was, but the room got very loud all of a sudden.

"Mr Brown,"

Lady Cross gracefully walked down the servants steps. She was still wearing her morning gown and had not put on her makeup. Mrs King looked more embarrassed as she raced behind her.

"You may not hold the child like that. Let go".

Joan opened her eyes and realized it was the Butler who was holding her. 

It hurt.

Brown held her arm tight as she tried to move away; "My Lady, I fear she will run off"

"She's not being held here. She may do as she likes. Let go."

Brown let go and Joan just crumpled. Estelle reached down and held her - her hands holding Joan's wrists in case she attacked herself.

"Tom knows where she is?" Lady Cross asked, visibly worried.

"No my Lady." Estelle said; "Katie was the first to find her - we found her only a few seconds ago."

Lady Cross looked at Katie who was glaring at Brown.

"Do you know how the girl got in Katie?" Lady Cross asked politely.

"No." Katie answered bluntly.

"Don't look at me like that." Brown warned her.

"You're not being very nice."

"Mr Brown I would contact the school as soon as possible." Lady Cross interrupted.

"What about the warrant my Lady?" Brown asked.

"Warrant or no, he needs to know where the girl is. I don't know what my husband is going to do but the school can't be left in the dark. And if you have Lanaka's number, she should be called to." she turned to Estelle; "Take her upstairs to our waiting room and stay with her," then to Joan; "take as much time as you need to settle Miss Miller. The servants will not hurt you."

Joan didn't respond.

"I don't understand you" Gladys said to Joan once her Ladyship was gone; "Why do you put yourself in harms way? You did this all the time with me."

"Easier to get it over with." Joan managed to mumble as Estelle, Mrs Farr and Edmund - the footman who had spoken earlier - helped her to her feet.

"Are you ok?" Estelle asked.

Joan shook her head.

"Edmund, you help Estelle with the girl" Brown was angry that he had been told off in front of his staff; "And I want an inspection of the mansion. Estelle, I'll call Mr Zimmerman. and please let me know the next time you decide to call him."

"That's not allowed." Katie said; "She can talk to anyone without you knowing."

"You are one step from going into my office."

"You're not being nice!"

"Mr Brown" Mrs Anderson spoke up; "We have two autistic girls in one room - you've already worked up one of them. Leave your niece alone." She turned to her kitchen staff; "take a look around the mansion and report on any signs of a break in or aything stolen."

"I don't think I broke in." Joan said quietly.

Brown scoffed.

"Ignore him" Estelle quietly said as she and Edmund escorted Joan to the waiting room; "Mr Brown is a good man but sometimes he can be a little brash."

"I didn't steal" Joan responded.

"We know."

"If a police officer coming?" Joan asked.

"I can't answer that Joan" Estelle felt bad; "Considering the warrant asked you to be here..... Hopefully that's enough. I just hope his Lordship just dismisses the charge."

"We can't openly discuss this." Edmund said.

"Can't or won't?" Estelle glared at him; "I know you think this isn't right. Just say so. Katie has shown more balls than the rest of us"

The door knocked.

Edmund, a little shamefaced, opened it and bowed as Lord Cross marched in. His wife - now properly dressed - followed.

Joan didn't stand as was expected of a visitor. She didn't even look at the Lord and Ladyship.

"You again Miss Miller?" Lord Cross sounded both annoyed and curious.

No response.

"Miss Miller, before I ask why - how did you get into the mansion?" Lord Riando asked.

"There's a tunnel used by the Doves. I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you." Joan said.

"Ah - Alaric showed you a way did he?"

"Months ago."

"So this was all your idea?"

"Yes sir." Despite not standing or even looking at him, Joan was polite..

"And why are you here?"

"I heard you put out a warrant so I figured I'd come. Get it over with."

Lord Cross looked at his wife who folded her arms.

"You are aware of the charge?" He asked.

"Homolka put in a complaint because I stole Mum."

"My Lord." Estelle spoke up; "I took it upon myself to inform Mr Zimmerman on what Mr Homolka had done. I know there's been no announcement but as a friend, I could't leave him in the dark."

"Did Tom tell you about this warrant Miss Miller?" Lady Cross asked kindly.

Joan looked at her; "No. I heard him over the phone."

"So he isn't aware you are here?"

"Not at the moment."

Lady Cross gave her a husband a look to talk.

He sighed; "Miss Miller.... It's a delicate situation. When someone requests a warrant, I must follow the guidelines of -" 

"Or you could dismiss the warrant and tell Homolka to stop wasting out time." Lady Cross was clearly annoyed with her husband; "The girl came here and has proven she will obey the law. I hardly doubt she was the one stealing."

"If he wants Mum back, it's with Gran" Joan said, "but I don't know what she did with her."

A silence.

"Even if you feel coming here would help in anyway - you still broke into my home. And the school not being aware of where you are - I'm sure Dr Brookes would take a narrow view on such behavior. If he even does punish you at all."

Joan finally looked at him.

"I have been wrong about you on many things but it has been proven you are a problematic student."

No response from the girl.

Lord Cross didn't need one. He could tell his wife, Estelle and Edmund were either shocked or uncomfortable.

"Edmund tell Brown to bring his cane. I'm sure Dr Brookes will understand when he comes."

Edmund bowed and left.

Lady Cross shook her head and muttered quietly; "There's been enough done to this girl Riando."

Her husband ignored her; "Estelle - your both dismissed."

Estelle spoke up; "Sir I know the girl-"

Lord Cross glared until she left.

"As far as the warrant, we will not pursue it." Lord Cross told Joan once Estelle left; "Homolka's niece got wind of the situation and told me she had in fact let you take the box. Even without her evidence, I would not pursue it anyhow. The fact he dared to claim your mother's ashes was despicable."

No response.

"Perhaps I should have let the school know sooner - you wouldn't feel the need to come down here."

"i came down because I was afraid of the implications if I didn't." Joan said.

"You need to learn to wait things out."

"That's never really worked in my life. It's always been better to get things over with."

Lord Cross didn't know what to say.

Dr Brookes had convinced Tom and Sarah to stay at the school. Both were nervous and furious at what Joan had done.

So was he. 

But he also knew he had to get the girl out of there without anymore drama.

As he left the office, he noticed a lot of students watching him. Obviously the word got out what had happened.

Jim, Ebony and Dean were at his car.

"Sir, Gladys called me and told me what happened-" Ebony tried to speak to him.

"I'm trying to save your team member Miss Vicker's."

"Sir he wants you to cane her right there and there."

That got Dr Brookes to stop.

"Sir" Jim's voice was shaking; "She wouldn't have done this if there was a good reason. Please don't....."

Dr Brookes regained character; "I will give Miss Miller what she deserves. I can only promise you that her welfare will be my top priority."

He got in the car and drove off.

"Stupid!"

Sarah watched on as Tom ranted and marched around the office.

"I knew about that door! I forgot about it! Of course she heard me!"

"That doesn't excuse what she's done." Sarah said calmly.

"No. No she did what she thought would help and it blew up in her face. I did this to her. I should have spoken to her as soon as I heard. Even if I wasn't in the right frame of mind - I should have told her."

Sarah felt conflicted. She knew Tom was right but at the same time.....

"Joan knows better than to do what she did. Chris will have to deal with her for the school and we'll need to see what we do from here." She sat down on the sofa; "We've pushed her to hard. We shouldn't have cornered her like that - she doesn't trust us to tell us what is wrong."

"And that's my fault."

"You can tell her that. But she needs to step up too."

Tom felt a little better; "Ok. I need to call Estelle, find out what's happening over there."

"You might not like it."

"I know."


	40. A Quick Rescue

Dr Brookes could tell the footmen who greeted him where clearly not excited to see him. 

He knew the young men - especially Edmund who had been in the Court during his school years. Edmund had always been friendly and pleased to see him. But not today.

"Am I walking into a storm?" He asked the young man.

"I do not know sir."

Great.

Dr Brookes went into the waiting room and was greeted by Lord Cross. He noticed Mr Brown with a cane and Lady Marge looking very embarrassed with her husband.

Joan didn't even look up when he came in.

"Has my student been harmed?" was the first words out his mouth.

"Mr Brown roughed her up a little but Estelle our maid managed to calm her" Lady Cross said; "My husband asked Brown to fetch that cane."

"Marge, let me talk" Lord Cross muttered.

"He needs to know" his wife argued.

Dr Brookes turned to the student; "Miller, what are you doing here?"

Joan looked at him. Then at the cane Brown was carrying.

Brookes knew she was intimidated - even if the others in the room couldn't see it.

He had to get her out of here.

"You want me to punish a student right here?" He asked, turning to Lord Cross.

"She broke into my home Headmaster. And I see that she has little respect considering she didn't even answer you-"

"Miss Miller is not in a room she is familer with and I trust she will talk when I take her back to the school." He looked at the cane; "I'm not using that either."

"Merely the hands?"

"No" Brookes was blunt; "The reason I feel compelled not to use that thing is because quite frankly, you and your committee have punished the girl enough. And I'm risking injuring a student here nor subjecting them to public humiliation, regardless of who it is. Punishment of this kind happens in the school or when there's more staff - and I don't want Mr Brown put in a situation where he needs to handle a vulnerable girl. No disrespect."

Brown looked relieved.

"How do I even know you will discipline her for this?"

"Miss Miller knows she will get exactly what she deserves. I'm not sure if she has been caned-"

"I have actually."

Dr Brookes turned to Joan; "When?"

"Second Year with Miss Ramsey. It didn't go very well though. It was like...... a knife stabbing me slowly. And I had a bad day so I wasn't in the right frame of mind."

"A knife stabbing you slowly - and you would know how that feels?" Lord Cross scoffed.

Joan gave him a look; "Actually yes."

An awkward silence appeared.

"Riando, just let Dr Brookes deal with it." Lady Cross said; "I know it's hard to let go of your friendship but you know what Homolka did was wrong. He did it to frighten the girl and it worked. She's already in enough trouble, we don't need to humiliate her or be involved with this." She turned to Dr Brookes; "I don't know what you plan to do but please don't make this incident a deciding factor of her future at your school. This was partly our own fault."

"I will keep it in mind Marge" Brookes had known Lady Cross before her marriage; "But the firs thing I need to do is to take her back. And please tell the community that there will be no warrant. I think Joan needs to be reassured of that."

Lord Cross looked a little ashamed of himself now.

"I wondered why Sarah doesn't use canes much. You made her dislike them."

Dr Brookes and Joan were in his car - both relieved to be out of there.

"I mean.... Tom has caned me once and twice and it was just sore. She struck my hand - was that what he was asking you to do?"

"Yes and I don't care for striking the hands. It may be less embarrassing but it's more dangerous."

"Plus others can see them and I don't want to worry anyone." She had a thought; "You're going to have to deal with me for running away."

Dr Brookes sighed; "I'm afraid so."

"My team are..... Being a bit annoyingly protective. So are a few Court members - prefects - younger students. Should I make a statement?"

"Will that work or is there any point?"

"I don't think we can just be quiet about it."

He knew she had a point.

"Is it ok if I go to my Gran's?"

"Right now?"

"I heard the servants say something about calling her. I just want to show her I'm ok."

Brookes parked quickly near the elderly home; "Don't be long."

"You know how old people talk a lot?"

He understood; "Fine."

They both left the car.


	41. A Cold Welcome

Dr Brookes and Joan were greeted by Alaric and Lanaka and found themselves in Lanaka's room.

"The word gets around fast" Alaric explained; "You actually used a Dove tunnel to get into the Manor?"

"Yes sir" Joan said.

"I'm sure you'll be hearing about it from Cross though he wasn't exactly thrilled." Dr Brookes warned.

"Maybe I should let him wonder. Keep it a secret?"

"You will tell him which tunnel it is" Lanaka ordered though she was clearly amused. Then she turned to Joan with a serious look; "What you did was incredibly silly no matter how you look at it."

"I know." Joan had figured that out.

"It will be dealt with Lanaka though I promise you, it won't be as harsh as what Lord Cross or Homolka wanted."

Alaric seemed to excited to hear about the consequences; "Did you see my old coat down there? Ah - I swear I left a coat down there."

"It was all dark."

"Good! Good because I destroyed the power in those tunnels so they wouldn't find all of us. We all got out but they were lost for hours!" He chuckled; "That old ladder still didn't break huh? I told Disbar - your Grandmother's brother - it was going to break one of these days but it never did-"

"We really have to go Alaric." Dr Brookes was firm but polite; "Tom and Sarah really want this one home."

"Ah well" Alaric shrugged; "You come back when all this messy business is over - I'll be there at the concert."

"Will Lord Cross be there at the event?" Joan asked in the car.

"Usually he is. He missed last years. Why? You don't want to see them?"

"I mean I'm not going to enjoy it anyway. If I can be blunt."

"No I see why."

They reached the school.

Joan noticed what Brookes hoped she wouldn't; "Everyone's watching us?"

It certainly seemed so.

He sighed; "Just go straight to Tom's office. I'll deal with them."

He was out the car before she was. Joan stood back as her Headmaster marched right into the school and ordered everyone to either go back to class or stop standing around in the corridoors.

She couldn't see the rest of the team but knew they were somewhere in the crowd.

She looked over to where she knew was Tom's window.

Yes, there he was. Looking at her.

She couldn't read his face from where he was but she knew she was in trouble.

She walked into the school.

A lot of students wanted to ask questions but she pretended not to hear them. She didn't see Jim, Ebony or Dean though she could certainly hear Ebony order students to let them come near.

It wasn't until she reached Tom's office door did she feel Jim's touch on her shoulder.

He was pale; "Are you hurt?"

"No." Joan answered; "Not yet anyway."

"So he didn't......?"

"No. Again not yet." Joan folded her arms; "It's fine. I broke a huge rule. I'm not losing my badge."

"What about the warrant?" Ebony asked.

"Not happening anymore apparently."

"If you need us after.... all this, you know where we are." Dean said, he reached out and squeezed her hand.

The crowd behind the team suddenly vanished as the door behind her opened.

It was Miss Ramsey; "Miss Miller, you need to come in."

Joan didn't say a word but obeyed. Miss Ramsey closed the door on the team before they could say a word.

"Enjoying the fame?" Sarah asked.

"No." Joan responded; "Where's Tom?"

"He's in his room but you will stay here for now."

Joan felt a little fear; "I..... I know it was stupid-"

"Good. We understand why you did it - what Homolka did was intended to frighten you. But it was incredibly stupid and reckless. Tom's friend Estelle told us what happened at the mansion - you're very lucky Dr Brookes has your back."

Joan didn't respond.

"He's going to give it a week and let things calm down before he does deal with you. Don't talk about punishment, anyone asks, ignore it. You have the concert in three weeks to worry about - not gossip."

"Tom's going to kill me isn't he?" Joan asked.

"No. He's mostly angry at himself. I doubt he intended to keep it a secret anyway but he blames himself for this."

"He has a bad habit of doing that."

"I agree."

The door opened and Tom came in. His hair a mess and not even in his gown - he saw Joan and pointed to the corner;

"Wall."

Joan obeyed.

Sarah looked at Tom who - while under-confident - gave her a nod. She went into his private rooms, leaving the door only slightly closed.


	42. The Uncomfortable Truth

In truth, Tom was making things up as he went along.

He was mad. Mad at Joan, mad at everything that had happened.

But most of all he was mad at himself.

"Joan, come and sit down."

She obeyed.

"I want you to be honest as I try and be honest with you." 

She frowned: "I've always been honest."

Great start.

"I mean with how you feel. You hide a lot from us."

"Well yeah."

"Why?"

"Maybe I just don't want to get beaten for expressing an opinion." She rested her head on her fist, staring at him unblinkingly.

He was sweating; "I know I messed up."

"It's not all your fault. Just... You want to understand but you can't. It's worthless to try." She looked away and said quietly; "I'm kind of stuck. The world just doesn't get me and you can't change that."

"Instead of trying to change the world, you could just.... try and change yourself."

"Don't you think that's what I try to do?"

She was angry at his last statement. 

"I didn't chose to be me and I can't change it. Is it so bad to want to.... stop having my existence cause everyone problems?"

So that was it.

Joan was selfless - believing her own existence was the cause of so many problems. With her parents, with the school, with.....

Tom shook his head; "You're not causing problems. If anything, you make us reflect on our own actions. It's hard for anyone to admit they are wrong but somehow, you help us all to come to that conclusion. And we're all the better for it." 

Joan was silent.

"Do you.... Mind if I use what you've said to try and stop all this?"

"If you think it can help. I just want to go to bed."

"Don't you want a drink first?"

"If you have one."

Sarah was pleased. Although part of her wanted to see the girl punished, she was more pleased Joan had finally seemed comfortable to give the uncomfortable truth.

"I don't think I could raise my hand against her again." Tom told her truthfully; "It didn't and doesn't help."

"Perhaps - though..... Chris."

Tom sighed; "I know."

Jim was surprised to see Joan walking to her room - visibly tired but acting as if nothing extraordinary had happened. He quickly walked next to her, carrying a small parcel;

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah" she shrugged; "Getting annoyed with it all really."

"I uh..." He stopped her walking; "If your heading to bed, I thought you'd want this. I was going to wait until the concert but...."

"Thanks."

Joan went into her room and after a change of clothes, opened the parcel.

It was Albert.

Or at least, a decent version of him.

There was a note from Sophie, telling her she made it as best as she could from Jim's description and hoped she liked - thanking her for being there for her brother - even if he was a pain in the arse.

Joan could only hold Albert is response. She slept well for the first time in ages.


	43. The Concert

Finally, the concert came.

The team had gone out for one last meal together. Joan was quiet but still joined in with most of the laughs. Jim was pleased to see she seemed more calm - less tense than she was before.

She showed him the not Sophie gave her; "I didn't think to ask - how is she?"

He smiled; "Much better. It's looking better. I means she's insulting me more so that's a good sign." He then paused; "Are you nervous about the concert?"

All four had agreed not to do any speeches but Jim still felt the nerves.

"I'm more nervous I'm seeing people I don't like" Joan admitted; "and we'll have to sit through Mithri-propaganda. I saw the rehearsal with the first and second year choirs."

Jim grimaced; "I was in the choirs. I hate myself."

The day of the concert, the four were already in their seats as the congregation sat in the church pews.

All four had a rough night but Jim, Ebony and Dean did their best to sit straight and show some presentation.

Joan was more slouched - the chair was too uncomfortable for her to sit straight - and she focused on the door. Her Grandmother and Alaric sat near the front but as far away as they could from the council who sat right at the front o the more expensive uncomfortable clothes Joan had ever seen. 

She also notice Lord Cross was quite anxious when he noticed her watching him.

She didn't care. Today wasn't about him or her. She turned her attention to the stage as Father Cameron commanded a hush and the concert started.

Still, thank God Homolka was nowhere to be seen.

It started of with a prayer of thanks and then a brief performance but the local primary school. They sang that song "Let's Study" and some Mithridates carol about growing up. It was kind of sweet.

Then some cringy drama about the founding of the Island - some history lesson which the outsiders of the school were confused by and then some songs from the school choirs. Mostly patriotic diddies though one of the girl's did a great solo.

Then Dr Brookes stepped forward. That was the teams cue to stand behind him - him in the middle, Jim and Dean on one side, Ebony and Joan on the other. All with their pens ready.

Dean had accidentally broken the top of his but no one else would notice.

Joan didn't feel too nervous anymore. She had decided not to look at the audience but focus on Dr Brookes. It was a good thing she did, or she would have seen everyone was watching her.

"As I do every year" Dr Brookes said his pre-planned speech, "I stand here, proudly and humbly as I watch each students success and talents. I look forward to the next year's first years. For those of you unaware - which I doubt." Some polite laughter, "My name is Dr Chris Brookes, Headmatser of Clarifloors. It is my responsibility to keep Joseph Obair's school running and to keep his philosophy of each child receiving a good education. Not just on meer subjects but in life. Part of how I can do that is to have a band of prefects." He pointed at the seats where the Court was; "And while I can go on and on about how they help our school and its students, this part of the service and concert is dedicated to four individuals who oversaw the prefects, the court, the school and sometimes even the teachers.

To the four of you - I want to think you for using your roles to maintain a level of maturity, discipline and dignity in the face of a year that gave us many roadblocks. Both inside and outside the school. All four of you have shown courage and a work effort that the next team will have a hard time matching. You allowed us to regain confidence in the time honored tradition of having a student represent a House in this way, you worked very well together and I'm not the only one to say this - but this team will be missed. "

A polite applause but it was clear the majority agreed with him.

But then a mumble as instead of going to the deputies first as was tradition, he instead indicated to Jim to give his pen to him.

"James. Jim Morrison. One of my icons growing up" He gave an awkward chuckle as the audience polietly laughed; "Representing House Aprender, Morrison was one of two good things about last years team and he truly showed he had leadership and compassion. Morrison rescued a young local boy, braving the cold waters but he also braved through a year as his sister at home fights a deadly illness. I'm glad to hear she is better and I thank you that you were able to find it in yourself to put the school's needs before your own."

A short but a little louder applause. Jim was very respected and it was a nice send of.

"Ebony Vicker's. Our only local - representing House Hapus. Some asked if they were sure what I was getting in for - Vicker's is an incredible talent in the sports field but it wasn't until I made her Head Girl did people see her incredible talent for helping others. It was not a role I know you found easy" He shared a smile with Ebony; "but it is a role you have done your family, yourself and me proud. And I am pleased to see your growth this year. You are a credit to your House."

Another applause with an added whistle from one of Ebony's siblings.

"Now we on to the Deputy Heads - perhaps the two we tend to forget are also working hard.

Dean Parks. House Obair. Parks has also been an active member of the student community. You'll find him everywhere - if there's a Guild he isn't in, good luck" polite laughter, "but it's not been all fun and games this year. Parks made it his mission to bring some light to each meeting, lesson and even rehearsals for this concert. He is a young man that any parent would be proud of. Your compassion, jokes and can-do" attitude allowed me to enjoy my weekly meetings and I'm sure your team members will agree with me that your hard work save us a lot of stress and frustrated tears. Thank you Dean."

Dean felt himself well up a little when his pen was taken. Jim patted his shoulder while the applause went on for half a minute. 

Joan had applauded with the congregation but had yet to look at anyone but the four other people she was sharing the stage with.

Brookes visibly froze as he took Joan's pen. Then he looked at it and then - seemingly losing some confidence, stuttered a little;

"I don't think I've ever felt such reluctance to accept a resignation"

He cleared his throat.

"I cannot stand here and tell you that this student had an easy time in Office. Miss Miller was not a prefect when she accepted this role and it caused quite the stir at the start. We can agree to disagree why that was the case, but we can all wholeheartedly agree that Miller really did go above and behind the call of duty in this role. Joan Miller. Ferox - like Obiar himself, she was not afraid to challenge her fellow students and teachers and she was also unafraid to put herself in harms way. Unlike the other three, Miller has never really changed. She has always had that fire, compassion, leadership qualities - yet we were blinded by her quietness and the stories and rumors told. How could we take her seriously? I was concerned if the students would, considering the grownups had told them they shouldn't. Yet this girl did everything she could for her House and other students. She challenged me more than once - how bold for a fourth year who never spoke in class - and all the while she battled her own battles, too many to name here. And not once, did she stop to consider her own health and well-being. She gave her fellow students credit and never accepted her own." He looked at Joan; "I accept your pen but not without telling you to your face how much me and the school appreciate and admire what you've achieved and done. Thank you."

Joan felt herself squirm a bit but she managed a small smile and gently say; "Yeah, you too."

She felt something shift in the air.

Waiting for his turn to get on the stage, Father Cameron started to clap, smiling kindly at her direction.

Then Brookes started. Then Jim. Ebony. Dean.

And as Dean started, she could hear the choir behind them start.

Joan held herself to stop her squirming and watched on as the audience of parents - locals who only a year before hadn't cared about her, slowly stand and clap. 

Lord Cross's staff clapped enthusiastically. Even Gladys clapped and nodded her way when they locked eyes. She was a different person away from her uncle.

Lord Cross also stood - not clapping - but begrugededly showing respect. 

Joan looked across to Lanaka who was crying happy tears.

Tom and Sarah still sat but they were visibly pleased at the reaction.

Seeing she was becoming overwelmed, Ebony patted her shoulder and asked if she was ok.

Joan didn't know what to say.

Dr Brookes abandoned the rest of his speech and the five of them went backstage to let the rest of the show continue.

Tom escaped and went backstage to check on Joan. She was fine. Still stunned by what had happened but she was not in a mess as he feared.

"Did you see Lord Cross's face when he realized he had to stand up too?" Dean chuckled, "What a loser."

"He needs to grow up." Ebony agreed.

Jim was holding Joan's hand but he let go as Dr Brookes addressed the room;

"I know you are supposed to the Prefects but I think if all four of you go out, they'll be more applause. Are you alright to stay put for now?"

"We'll be fine sir." Jim answered.

Brookes looked at Joan; "If that didn't convince you that the community is now behind you, nothing will."

Joan just nodded. Still unable to speak.

It was a good ending to a strange year. She no longer had the same worries she did last year. She had friends. She had a father and mother figure. 

She was free.

For the first time. She felt calmness.

And a sense of self-worth.

And she was going into the new term with that. Already a good start


End file.
